BF Making me Pick My Engagement Ring - Jeweler Refuses to Do Setting (long)

reinalasol

Not sure where the proper place to post this question is, but I figure you can help a new de-lurker like me out, or tell me where to re-post! 

Been lurking (mostly using the site to help sisters and friends plan weddings) for years now, and am finally ready to take the plunge! My bf and I have been talking about marriage for a few years, but since he especially wanted a big wedding we've waited until our financial situations have improved. 

My mother helped us along by deciding she wanted us to use the diamond from her ring, which I love the idea of! Suddenly bf decided he couldn't wait anymore and asked my parents (with my knowledge) for my hand. They handed over the ring to be cannibalized (hehe) and we went to the family jeweler. 

I picked out a setting that's non-traditional but still looks like an e-ring (my bf's stipulation): 

http://vannak.com/18RO1189DCZ-Micro-Pave-Engagement-Rings

Also here from another angle:

http://www.josephjewelry.com/item.php?id=1279&page=31 (hope I linked these right, first time posting). 

My jeweler is against using it because he feels the pave might come loose and the diamonds on the arms might come out, because the metal is so thin and delicate. I asked if the designer would warranty it but didn't get a straight answer, buy my jeweler said he would. 

I'm not sure what to do, as I haven't found anything like this that I like nearly as much. I found another custom piece here: 

http://www.josephjewelry.com/item.php?id=1476&page=16

That is kind of like it. Then I found a picture on the original designer's facebook page that looks like the second setting, but with diamonds on both splits of the shank. 

I still like the first one best, but if I could create something completely custom using the second design, with no split shank and a lower profile, I would take it. I know I'm being super picky, but I also liked another style that a different jeweler said would get squished easily (a raised spiral design) .Sigh. 

Anyway, question is: has anyone had difficulty with pave settings you wore every day, particularly delicate ones? No other jeweler (talked to two others) has had a problem with the setting. Should I just go for it and hope for the best? Who covers the setting in this case, if a diamond comes out? 

Thanks for any help anyone can give. 

GoodLuckBear14

Find another jeweler.  Ask you local board for recommendations for reputable jewelers (you didn't say where you found the ones you've spoken with).  If they tell you the same thing, there may be concern with this setting lasting.

reinalasol

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_bf-making-me-pick-my-engagement-ring-jeweler-refuses-to-do-setting-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:ce772378-923f-4cf2-9f3d-2723aa7bb347Post:0bcdf576-f148-4ba4-a630-50ef3fcc3703">Re: BF Making me Pick My Engagement Ring - Jeweler Refuses to Do Setting (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Find another jeweler.  Ask you local board for recommendations for reputable jewelers (you didn't say where you found the ones you've spoken with).  If they tell you the same thing, there may be concern with this setting lasting.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks, that's good advice. 

</div>

[Deleted User]

just by looking i think that the setting in the last link you posted looks more stable than the one in the first link. i'm really weary about my ring getting damaged and the first setting to me does look very delicate so it all depends on your lifestyle you know? good luck

abwatts

I agree, find another jeweler. But that is a very beautiful and unique setting. Good luck and congratulations!

reinalasol

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_bf-making-me-pick-my-engagement-ring-jeweler-refuses-to-do-setting-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:ce772378-923f-4cf2-9f3d-2723aa7bb347Post:0471341e-ffb9-420d-9a2c-6e8d013b1311">Re: BF Making me Pick My Engagement Ring - Jeweler Refuses to Do Setting (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree, find another jeweler. But that is a very beautiful and unique setting. Good luck and congratulations!
Posted by abwatts[/QUOTE]
Thanks, all! 

dewingedpixie

I'm with these ladies talk to another jeweler. Second opinions are good.

I had to select a second center stone for my e-ring due to stability issues but the jeweler who sent us a full report. They also told us in a different setting such as a necklace with standard prongs the stone would be stable enough just not for this setting or the kind of wear and tear my e-ring will get with how active I am.

That maybe something to consider how active are you? I would be terrified with a setting like that because I'm constantly going somewhere, making something, running, biking, etc. One of the reasons we chose the metal we've chosen is knowing I sometimes forget I'm wearing rings and jump into the pool with them, or just leave them on. Being extremely active was a factor that drove me away from micropave.

[Deleted User]

I have a micropave, low setting ring (not my engagement ring - that one is a simple solitaire) that has both white and blue diamonds in it. I have already lost and replaced one stone in that ring, and had another past, present and future ring that continuously lost stones and was always at the jeweler for repair. I have since replaced that ring. It depends on how active you are and what you do with your hands. I used to work at Zales and you would not believe how many women we saw with micropave rings that had stones missing. The women who constantly worked with their hands had it the worst - i.e. hair stylists, school teachers, waitresses, etc. Just be careful with it and you should be fine - tough if you're anything like me you will eventually forget you have it on and bash it up against something because it just becomes like a part of your hand.

If you can be careful with it, I say find another jeweler and do it. If you think you're going to be a little more rough with your hands, I'd rethink it or go with something more like the second ring, where the diamonds are set into the metal with none but the top side exposed. 

reinalasol

Thanks so much all! I do not have an active job, but I do have active hobbies - hiking, boating, scuba diving, snowboarding, though not as frequently as I'd like. I think I'm going to try to see if I can modify the setting to be less delicate (thicker arms), more inset like the custom design above. If not I'm going back to the drawing board; I don't want to be constantly at the jeweler's. My original jeweler has since said that he will make the setting AND will take care of me if something happens, but I don't want to be a pain and I also don't want to be constantly replacing diamonds. 

Thanks again for all the input!

krose83013

My best is a jeweler and she said the type of setting you are looking at may become an issue if you are really hard on it. Also, the paved bands aren't as durable when the diamonds wrap the entire band (like palm side).

I do love the setting though, just something to think about. Maybe they can do something else with that style of setting in mind, perhaps use a slightly stronger metal to hold the paved stones?

Best of luck!

IMGjewelers

Some rings do actually acrue more wear and tear because of the styling. HOWEVER, a reputable, quality jeweler should be able to create the ring of your dreams without a problem.
If you feel as though you will be doing rigourous activities, yardwork, outdoor sports, etc., you can always remove the ring as well so it is less likely to be damaged.  If the ring is created correctly, you should be just fine!

As a side note, you can have the ring insured by the insurance agency who privides home, auto and life insurance.