Just Engaged and Proposals

In need of some help

Hello,

As a bit of side information I'm the future groom writing this so here it goes.

When it came time for me to propose I didn't plan anything extravagent.  I had plans and had to cancel for any number of reasons for 3 months straight (i.e. she got sick, weather turned lousy, etc.) and I was tired of waiting.  So one night at her parents house I mentioned we take our dog outside before bed (we were in town visiting) and we walked around the yard for a while.  I began discussing some of the times we had dating over the last 4 years but was so nervous I'm sure she knew what was coming. As we were sitting on the porch (as she turned her head to dodge the dog) I slipped onto the step in front of her and proposed (kneeling).  She was of course all excited but afterword she has mentioned how she thought I would have put more thought into it since I can be pretty creative.  I've explained I tried but she's still bumbed about it 7 months later (especially when she sees the proposals of some of her friends which have happened recently). 

What I am asking is if it is too late to throw her a surprise engagement party to give her that "special" setting she's wanted? I was also thinking about writing a little speech about how I know the first proposal wasn't really story of all time worthy and re-propose.  It may be corny and embarrasing for me but if it would make her happy I would do it in a heart beat. 

Sorry  for the long winded description but if you girls can give some advise I would greatly appreciate it.  

Thank you,

Andy 

Re: In need of some help

  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    1. Engagement parties are not thrown by the couple. It is very rude for the couple to throw it. If someone else decides to throw the party, you could say a few words as the person of honor. Also, anyone invited to the engagement party MUST be invited to the wedding (remember budgets change so be careful).

    2. You FI sounds like she cares more about fluff than actually getting married which would scare me if I was you. Really scare me.

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    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • Sorry that FI is giving you a hard time but she needs to get over it.  If she's really upset about the proposal you really need to consider that you two may have bigger problems.  You can not throw yourself and her an engagement party.
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:d041ec90-dae0-45eb-8ccd-51649a24a0a4Post:279d205f-eade-418b-9544-898443870816">Re: In need of some help</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Engagement parties are not thrown by the couple. It is very rude for the couple to throw it. If someone else decides to throw the party, you could say a few words as the person of honor. Also, anyone invited to the engagement party MUST be invited to the wedding (remember budgets change so be careful). <strong>2. You FI sounds like she cares more about fluff than actually getting married which would scare me if I was you. Really scare me.</strong>
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]
    Yup, this.<div>
    </div><div>My proposal was not very creative or romantic, but I didn't care. All that matters is that we're engaged and planning our wedding/starting our lives together. If all she cares about is the proposal 7 months later, I'd be pretty worried.</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm not trying to be mean at all, but I think your FI needs to get over the "lack of" proposal. My proposal was very underwhelming and at first I wished that my now H had put more thought into it, but then I realized it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, we were still engaged and now we're spending our lives together. The proposal doesn't matter, it's what it symbolizes that matters. She needs to realize that.
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  • I'm sorry it wasn't what she expected.  I can relate a bit.  I don't think my husband put much thought into the proposal.  The fact that it wasn't a correographed event didn't bother me as much as the fact that he didn't have a ring.  He wanted me to pick one out myself.  Ever the practical one.  But there are more important things than a "perfect" proposal, namely a strong relationship with communication.  I hope you have that.  Maybe you do if she could tell you all of that. 
  • I agree with PPs. I think there are more serious issues at hand than just the proposal if that is how she thinks. How elaborate the proposal is should not marry if she is thrilled to be marrying you. H proposed to me at home one night after he cooked me dinner. It was very low-key, but I absolutely loved it and wouldn't have wanted to change it for anything in the world. Your FI should feel the same. I'm sorry she's making you feel crappy about this.

    I would NOT re-do the proposal, but have a serious talk with her about all this. No matter what though, you can't throw yourselves and engagement party, and it would be really weird to have one this long after the engagement anyways.
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