engaged :)

jcg23

So we aren't JUST engaged we've been engaged since october. But the point is I want to know if anyone else has proposed to their future/current husbands? Was it difficult to explain to people? Did people not share the joy the same as they would had he proposed?

***My story***
 after we were engaged I announced the news and people overall seemed disappointed by the fact I proposed to him. Some people thought it was a cool, modern, twist on things. But most people wanted to see a ring. I did get one a little while after. But once I got the ring people seemed less miffed about it. Which I find odd it's like it's not a REAL engagement if the female doesn't have a ring on her finger. I am very happy I did it when I did it how I did it. Because it turned out much better than I could've ever imagined!

I am not concerned of what others think I mean it may bug me that they see a problem with it and don't share the happy moment with me, but overall as long as we are happy that is all that matters. 

If anyone wants to share, I just thought it would be interesting to get to know of other people's experiences on this?

AddieCake

I don't have experience with this, but I know what you mean about Judgey McJudgersons and how people act as if you're not "really" engaged until you have a ring. One of my bridesmaids and her husband had been planning on getting married but were not officially engaged yet. Then they just suddenly decided to do it and threw their wedding together in about 2 weeks. Everyone was happy for her, but some of our older friends insisted he needed to buy her an engagement ring, which he could not afford. And for what? So they could be "officially engaged" for 2 weeks?  One of them even convinced her it was bad luck to put on a wedding dress without an engagement ring. So they ended up buying a fake ring just to appease them, and it was pretty cheaply made, and the stone ended up falling out while she and those same women were on out together. They, of course, freaked out over the lost stone, and then she had to confess it was a fake and why she had done it, and it was just all very embarrassing for her. I was pissed that she had been made to feel like she had to do all that in the first place. People really just need to mind their own business. 

My husband proposed to me by changing our Facebook statuses one day. We had talked about getting married and we were looking at rings, but I was having a hard time finding one I truly loved. I couldn't find the one I saw in my head, you know? He decided that was silly that we were on hold b/c of that and just decided we were engaged and we would find the ring later. So that's how we did it. 

jcg23

Thank you for your response. I can totally empathize with her and you. The women that didn't appeal to that idea thought it was a sign of weakness like if I asked and didn't make him get on his knees and ask and instead I did it it was just wrong. If you see yourself as equals and trust eachother though, it doesn't matter. So obviously they had some issues. I know that Mike(my FI)  doesn't see me as a lesser person and never has. I really just don't get it. I can't believe that it seemed they were so insecure with how they responded. Such as "sh!t, I wouldn't ever do that, I'd make the man ask!" But that story about you and your friend I totally get it. The ring I got was partially so others would quit harping me about it and mostly for me. So I can completely understand. I just don't get why people are so scared to change anything. It also isn't really even their business either. Me and Mike did things differently but it ended up working out so much better than had it been done the opposite way. And just that is enough to make me not ever want to change a thing. 

jcg23

Thank you for your response. I will take that information. . I can't believe it was and still is such a greedy thing. And with how people act it isn't different. I at least see an engagement ring as a symbol of love and taking a step further into commitment, not calling "dibs" on someone, first off it's not ownership, I of course know though that back then women weren't really seen as equal. And it's still a struggle in some places, but what the women who oppose of the idea don't realize they are still promoting equality by saying that a man HAS to propose. If anyone gives me a hard time about it though I will share that piece of info and maybe it'll make them think twice before opening their mouths on things they don't understand.

jcg23

Well congratulations on that! I am very glad you guys felt the same about marriage, and it might've taken longer to figure it out but atleast you found out.
but to me as long as the two are in love that is all that matters. I just don't see how anyone can judge based on a ring, they don't know why it went that way, there may have been many reasons such as they wanted to be engaged but couldn't afford wedding rings and an engagement (not our reasoning) so they decided she would buy him a wedding band. Which is what I did. lol But for me it was just to show I was serious. I knew we both were. Heck he has proven to me full on with his actions that he loves me, he drove all the way to texas to get me when we decided to take a break. Not many men would do that and especially now, but I am rambling but no one knows the back story as to why people may do things differently and it either way isn't their business because I just enjoy doing things differently. lol

cwaggoner07

I can't relate exactly, but I HATE HATE HATED how every time I told someone I was engaged they just grabbed my hand. And I hate how girls always post huge close up pictures of their rings on facebook. I'm no means ashamed of my ring, and if you flip through enough pictures you can probably get a good idea of what it looks like, but the obsession with the ring seriously infuriates me.

jcg23

I agree. I have one pic of my ring on fb and that's it. It isn't big at all. Which works for me I don't need a huge flashy ring. And I agree the obsession with it is ridiculous. Not everyon sees things the same way. Before I got my ring it was the same reaction oh let me see and disappointment when I told them I didn't have one.