Ring Woes...need advice

stewardk

I need some help: My fiance and I got engaged on November 1st, pretty spontaneously, which is great, because that is who we are together. My biggest woe (and I know I shouldn't be whining) is my ring. It is a three stone ring and, while it does sparkle nicely, this is not at all what I had in mind when I envisioned wearing a ring for eternity. When my fiance and I first started considering engagement, I showed him a few rings I LOVED that had more of a vintage look to them. Being a long distance couple for much of the time while I was at college, we never went to a jewelry store to browse and gain insight as to what kind of rings I liked. My question is this: How, or should I, bring up the face that I am not exactly thrilled with my ring? What should I say? I don't want to cause hard feelings because I do know he put time into this choice, but I also want to wear something that I love every time I look at it. HEELLLPP ME PLEASE

hlynn1129

I did not initially love my ring either. It has (and is still) grown on me.  I very much wanted a unique ring, I love the designer rings with the unique bands.  I totally wasn't expecting to get engaged and never directly pointed out anything I liked.  I have a 3 stone ring as well, with channel set diamonds in the band.  It is very generic looking to me,(in fact my friend has a very similar style) but very sparkly and I get loads of compliments on it, which is helping me love it more.  While I think it is a shame for him to have spent so much on something I dont love but will wear for the rest of my life, I know FI would be alsolutely crushed if I ever admitted I didn't love my ring, he is VERY proud of the fact he picked it out by himself even selecting the 3 diamonds in it....I will get a weding band that will compliment my ring, but give that more unique look I had wanted. Did you FI purchase it as a set? Or could you get a wedding band that works with your engagement ring, while giving it more of the vintage feel?

jessmccoy21.defunct635799997357313192

I agree with PPs.  I gave my FI a ton of choices of rings that I LOVED, and he picked something totally different.  When he first proposed, I was in shock because I didn't really love the ring, but now I totally do.  I would have been upset if he got me a 3-stone ring though, because I don't care for them either.

You can have the stones reset, or you can get a wrap put on your ring to change the look of it.  I also think if I didn't really love my e-ring, I would either wear it on my right hand after we get married or only wear my wedding band after we get married.  But I was adamant about a few things before we got engaged/when FI was ring shopping:  wanting a set so I could have a matching band, wanting a ring I could live with forever because it was really important to me to wear the e-ring forever, and not wanting yellow gold or a 3-stone setting, because those aren't my style.

My suggestion is going to the jeweler without FI and discussing options, just to see what could be done, before you freak FI out and tell him you're less-than-thrilled with his choice.  I also recommend being very careful to assure him that you're thrilled with him and the engagement, but the ring isn't exactly what you had in mind.  And then discuss the options that the jeweler gave you!