"Permission" or "Blessing" from Dad?

msmkook

Hi all. So, my boyfriend is 40 and has been married before, and I'm 35 getting married for the first time. My soon-to-be fiance is meeting my father soon and would like to say something about marrying me, but we're not sure how it should come out. I come from a fairly traditional latin family, so my boyfriend wants to be respectful but not juvenile. Any ideas?

Summer2011Bride

I would probably skip "asking for permission" and maybe have him say something like, "I am planning on marrying your daughter and was hoping to have your blessing on our marriage." I don't know your dad or FI and what is the norm for your family, but that is something I might consider saying. I think that's what H said to my parents, though I wasn't there for it, rather than ask their permission, since really, we could have gotten married with or without their "permission."

toni1835

We just got engaged and I'm 46 and he's 40 and neither of us have been married before.  He called my father the day before he proposed and my father really appreciated it and I think respected him even more.  I know it's pretty old school but it's still a nice gesture that can go a long way.

UberBiz

That's the one thing I wish my FI had done before I started wearing the ring, is at least let my dad know that he would be doing it. It's not that their relationship is on the rocks or anything, but my FI is a private, silent type, and my dad is the silent judging type, and my FI has always been worried that my dad just doesn't like him.

I think it's commendable for the guy to at least let the father know about future engagement plans. I agree with the PP, it's a little old school, but still traditional enough that it's still something to think about doing, and always for good reasons.

achiduck

I agree with PP's. I think its' awesome that he wants to say something but I'd make it more of a statement of intention rather then asking for permission.

RailWayWife

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_permission-or-blessing-from-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e56eec15-1695-49e5-aa6c-7346605342e9Post:77406530-c310-4c24-b7a8-4339eb41fc27">Re: "Permission" or "Blessing" from Dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]"I'm planning to ask your daughter to marry me, and it would mean the world to both of us to have your blessing."
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]


This

willywally5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_permission-or-blessing-from-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e56eec15-1695-49e5-aa6c-7346605342e9Post:77406530-c310-4c24-b7a8-4339eb41fc27">Re: "Permission" or "Blessing" from Dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]"I'm planning to ask your daughter to marry me, and it would mean the world to both of us to have your blessing."
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

<div>That is almost verbatim what FSIL said to us a few days before he proposed to DD. He actually texted me on a Monday asking if he could come over and talk to us the following evening. I TOTALLY knew what he was up to, just a gut feeling. So he came over and that was, of course, what he wanted. LOL. </div><div>
</div><div>BUT, he didn't actually propose to DD until Friday so we had to keep our mouths shut to DD and our other kids! It was the longest three days EVER! </div><div>
</div><div>All the best with your engagement!</div>

cwaggoner07

My FI asked my dad, and I appreciated it as a sign of respect. Of course, him and my dad get along so well that I doubt FI even made a big deal about it.

Gabrielle76

My FI asked the really traditional way, he asked me dad for his permission to ask me to marry him.  I know my dad really appreciated it.  

KT020803

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_permission-or-blessing-from-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e56eec15-1695-49e5-aa6c-7346605342e9Post:77406530-c310-4c24-b7a8-4339eb41fc27">Re: "Permission" or "Blessing" from Dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]"I'm planning to ask your daughter to marry me, and it would mean the world to both of us to have your blessing."
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

I agree with Lucy, a very nice way to word it. It shows he respect your dad enough to ask first .