Rushing it or Divine Intervention?

joeyleon210

I was engaged last year and broke it off two months before the wedding. It wasn't meant to be before it even happened. I was extremely pressured into the engagement. I started dating my girlfriend a month or so after and she knew my background and exactly what happened. We started off slow, but over the past couple of months have grown to a deep love that I have never felt before. We talk about our future and getting married and our lives, but I am just hesitant to get back into that when it hasn't even been a year. I know she is the one. There is no doubt about that, but sometimes I feel like if I take that step I will be rushing it more than it has to be. I want my friends and fmaily to have my back, and I know they will, but I still can't help to be hesitant about it. 

Can use some suggestions from an outside standpoint. 

Nindakay

Well...I was in your shoes a few years back.  My FI at the time dumped me in October (on my birthday!) and my wedding was set for the middle of December.  Ugh!  BUT I'm so glad we didn't get married then.  The man I'm with now is so amazing, but he also has a history - he's divorced, and really rushed in to the first wedding.  So we both had some reservations.  What we opted for was to get engaged relatively soon, but to have a longer engagement.  If you love your sweetie, and know you want to be married, that would be an option.  That way you can get used to the idea of being engaged, but at the same time not have to feel like you are rushing in to things.  And instead of getting a big, expensive ring - perhaps go for something smaller.  Mine is a sapphire (more because I didn't want an expensive ring than because of anything else, plus it's his birthstone).  SO maybe get a smaller, less expensive ring now, and upgrade it later.  Or do a promise ring.  That way you can get used to the feel of committmement without the pressure.

BUT....also learn to trust the one that you love.  They are not going to do the same thing to you that the other person did.  Maybe getting engaged would be the next step when it comes to trust.  It worked with us!

Good luck!!

KatyRoseM

If your worried you might be rushing take a small step back and think about it, you might be, you might not be.  How well do you know each other?  How do you each deal with stress?  Have you had fights?  Also a long engagement can help if you're feeling rushed.

DiLynn83

If you love this person and you "know" you're going to be together forever, then waiting another year to get engaged will not make a difference in the end.

If you have to ask internet strangers whether or not you're rushing, I suspect that in your heart of hearts you know you are.

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_rushing-it-or-divine-intervention?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:f4fd1195-7172-4f4c-88d7-759a05115db3Post:2bc818fd-b66e-40ad-9023-6a22a4fd1dd0">Re: Rushing it or Divine Intervention?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rushing it or Divine Intervention? : This. Really, the only person who can answer your question is you. If you have doubts about your intentions, it's better to wait and be sure that this is the right thing for the two of you. That's not to say that it is or that it isn't. You'll figure that out for yourselves. For now, you can just enjoy being together.
Posted by Schatzi13[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with this.

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saraschilling88

I agree that you are in a difficult situation.. If you feel like you are rushing the engagement but still feel like she is the one, I agree with PPs that a promise ring is an idea!  That is what my FI and I did, we had been together a year and knew that eventually we would be ready to marry but we weren't yet.  He gave me a promise ring on our 1 year anniversary, and 3 years later (well almost 3 years later, about 1 month shy of it) he asked me to marry him!  I'm glad we waited because we had some pretty tough times between then and now, and those times helped us grow closer and stronger as a couple.