Ring Etiquete - Using a ring my grandma gave me

jcsangelpen

My boyfriend and I are discussing getting engaged in the next few months and I'm researching ring etiquete. 

My grandmother gave me a very simple, classic diamond ring years ago, custom fitted for my left hand and I would like this to be my engagement ring. When I mentioned it to my boyfriend, he was fine with that idea as it is a financially wise decision for us (we are both in our early twenties on a tight budget). 

I realize this isn't quite the norm, but is it acceptable for me to provide my own ring? Also, if I were to use it as my engagement ring, what are some options for wedding bands? 

Thanks for the input.

peachykeen26

Yes. It's fine. I provided my own.

FYI, you don't need a ring to make you any more or less engaged.

calliopeia2013

Absolutely fine. A lot of people do that if they have heirloom rings.

jagore08

Once it's time to shop for wedding bands just go to the store and try them on.  It's the only way you'll know what you like and will look good with yout e-ring.

firsttimersluck

As long as your FI doesn't feel offended that he didn't get to give you an engagement ring, there is no issue. My only concern would be hurt feelings, but obv. he's okay with it so great! I know a dozen or so people who's wedding ring/band is from a family relative either on his or her side. 

I think it's so sweet and wonderful to keep that kinda stuff in the family. 

As far as wedding bands go, go to the store and just start trying them on. Decide if you want a band to go WITH your ring, or if you will wear them separately (I wear my ering on one hand and my wedding band on the other as a German tradition). If you don't know, try on both styles. Ones that are small enough to be on the same fingers as your e-ring, and some that are more stand-alone ones. 

You'll figure out what you like, just like any other type of shopping  

GL!

catwine

personally, i wanted a new ring and my fiance wanted to buy me one.  so for that reason i've never been a fan of heirloom rings but i don't see anything wrong with it. 

and i agree with everyone else about just going to a store adn trying on rings that fit with yours.

nextrightthing

I have an heirloom diamond and we got it custom reset.  FI's sister has a ring that was an heirloom on their side, so it is done.

AdeleDazeem

I'm wearing my grandmother's engagement ring.  She gave it to me a few years ago.  I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) when we started to discuss marriage that I wanted my grandmother's ring to be my engagement ring.  He happily olibged.  I love my grandma like woah and so does my husband - we are both honored to have her ring involved in our marriage.

I wanted a specific kind of wedding band (plain gold with an engraved pattern) and I think it's great.  When the time comes, just go try on bands and see how they look with the ring.

Happy Engagement!

violet355

i'm using my grandmother's wedding band, but have my own engagement ring.  they look damn good together, and i love the sentimental value that my wedding band will have (my grandparents had a fantastic marriage).

whitneymarie504

I'm currently wearing my Mother's soddered together yellow gold ering and wedding band as my engagement ring. Before the wedding the marquise diamond in the center will be put into a white gold tiffany style setting and we found a wrap band for it to be my wedding band. This way I get the family diamond but get the white gold I like and FI gets to feel like he still gives me a ring because he is the one paying for the resetting and the wrap to go with it. Best of all worlds for us! Then my Mom will take her wedding ring back and put a smaller diamond she already owns into the setting possibly for my brother when he decides to get engaged or back to me at some point as I do love the ring but not a fan of yellow gold.

luellaq06

I think its absolutely fine and an honor to your family and your grandmother.  I did the same sort of the same thing.  My fiancé and I had talked about getting married a few times and he asked me to look for a ring that I would like so I could show him and give him ideas.  I actually had a idea of what I wanted, a 1 carat round cut solitaire diamond in platinum.  My grandmother had one, and my mother had one and now I wanted one of my own.  But since we are in our twenty's and I know how expensive those can be I tried to find something else I liked. Well I looked and looked and looked, and no matter what I looked at I just couldn't find any settings I liked. 

The next time we had the discussion I looked again and realized in my mind nothing would ever quite live up to the ring I wanted.  I realized though that my grandmother's band might still be around. She wore it every day until the day she passed, and at one point the diamond had gone missing while she was at the nursing home.  It was so sad to see grandma's beautiful setting with a big hole in the middle.

I was given the e-ring setting and the wedding band.  My fiancé (then boyfriend) luckily went with it realizing how important it was to me to repair it and give it a new life.  The plan is to keep it in amazing condition and pass it on through the generations.   And hopefully it will stay in the family forever.

librababy

I think it's perfectly fine to wear your grandmother's ring as your engagement ring.  I had a diamond ring I got from my grandmother years ago and would be wearing it as my e-ring now but it got stolen recently (breaks my heart).  So instead of getting an expensive e-ring to replace it, I picked out one I loved that was pretty cheap.  No matter what, it's the meaning behind the ring.... not where it's from, who it belonged to or what it's made of that makes it special. 

jcsangelpen

Thanks for the advice and replies! I think I was most worried people would think it was tacky to do so, so this helps a lot! I love my ring a lot, so I know it's the right one for me.

ladyvaill

as said above, i think it's perfectly fine to provide your own ring or to wear an heirloom as your engagement ring.  i had offered my grandma's engagement ring to my BF years ago but he decided to propose with his grandma's 25th anniversary ring instead.  it's beautiful and i couldn't imagine anything more perfect.