Alright, so I suppose this is a bit of a vent, but I'm so frustrated! I graduate in Decemeber and I left for Teach for America a couple months ago. I went from Tucson, AZ to New Haven, CT for TFA, but some family issues/timing issues threw a wrench into TFA and I made the choice to come home. I got engaged almost three months ago, a couple weeks before I left.
Our tentative wedding date has always been Oct. 26, 2013. And sure, I had some hopes with coming home that we'd maybe move it up, but it's not in the cards financially. Essentially, my family can't afford to help out with a wedding at all. It is a long story involving my dad's death and his medical debts. My FI's family is pretty well off, but I'm not Mexican, nor am I catholic so they're a little upest about David marrying me. They like me, but I think they resent him choosing me to marry. With that being said, they have shown no interest in helping to pay for the wedding at all. Fine. I'm not saying anyone should have to foot the bill, although I feel like more often than not parent's at least help a little. I'm use to doing things myself. I've been working since I was 16.
So, my big thing is I don't want to compromise my wedding. So many things in my life have gone wrong. My dad was an addict, lost his mind when his parent's died in a car accident in 2007 and even before that my life's been an unstable mess of addiction, cheating, fighthing--it was rediculous. And I recently realized all the milestones that were compromised. Family holidays, the pomp and circumstance of graduation (both HS and university) none of that has ever happened for me. I want my wedding. I want something to go right and be what I want. I want to celebrate my love and my new life with my fiance. Our life with a family that is more stable than the one I knew up in.
Ok, so crazy ranting aside. I'm a planner. I'm a type A, know what to do and how to do it kind of gal. I want to start looking at numbers of guests, venues, I want to know what our "dream" wedding will cost. Sure, it's probably 2 years away, but weddings can take a year or more to plan. I don't think I'm being too crazy in getting together numbers, thinking about what we want our wedding to look like and setting saving goals. David works at his family's cell phone store and he's applying to medical school. WE NEED TO BE MARRIED BEFORE MED SCHOOL! Our engagement is going to be like 5 years if we don't because we'll have to figure out timing with school and all those big things.
I'm going to pay for this wedding. His parent's don't want to help. My mom can't help. David's parent's barely pay him anything for all the work he does. All that adds up to budgeting and saving goals. David just doesn't want to think about the wedding, talk about it, plan for it--he get upset when I bring it up. He doesn't think anything needs to be done for years. Hello! If we're getting married in two years we can't just wait 2 years and throw something together.
I just don't want my wedding day to end up being a courthouse wedding. And honestly, it seems like that's what will happen without planning. I'll be making enough to put money away and pay for a wedding. I can do it. I can make our wedding happen, but I can't do it without his input or opinion or help. Why propose and then be so shocked that we'd plan a wedding? He's not a planner. His lack of planning has landed him an extra year to finish his bachelors and he doesn't seem to have any real idea of how it's going to be really hard to us to get married in medical school. Plus, if I get the job in I'm the running for at the University of Arizona, he would get reduced tuition once we're married.
Needless to say, I'm upset. We're not on the same page. I feel like it's beating a deadhorse with him--he's so not interested. No one seems interested in our wedding. His family, my family. It's all crappy because I want to be happy and excited and ready for a wedding in fall of 2013 and no one seem to care.
So, end rant. Am I being a crazy freak about planning? I mean, it's not all I talk about. I'm a planner. I'm organized. I need spending/saving goals to make this happen. He acts like it's SO shocking I want to plan a wedding. Do I sound like I'm being crazy, people?