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Young and Fast Engagement

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Re: Young and Fast Engagement

  • In Response to Re:Young and Fast Engagement:
    The divorce rate goes down significantly every year as the bride approaches and reaches 25. So there's a whole slew of stories for you, enough for statistical significance: getting engaged young is bad news. Whenever I hear about someone talking about getting married before 25, I always ask: why do you think that the statistics won't apply to you? Don't you think every other 20 yr old bride thought that they didn't apply to her? What do you gain from rushing?nbsp;I also got engaged at 19. It didn't work out. I don't have any stories about things going well, since all my friends were smarter than me and waited to get to know themselves and a few boyfriends before they settled down. Posted by DelBride2012
    I'll be 23 when I get married, so I suppose according to you my marriage won't work because I'm not 25. It does not matter, of course, that I've got a college education, dated several guys and got my heart broken, fell in love with a wonderful guy, and have been financially independent from my family for some time. There has been no rush at all in the wonderful relationship I have built with this man, but we're doomed from the start because I happened to only be 23 when the time was right.
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  • I agree with this: 
    Let me put a different spin on your "what's the point in waiting if we know we're going to be together anyways" attitude.  Why NOT wait, if you know you're going to be together anyways?  ...   So, the point I'm trying to make is that it takes TIME to really KNOW someone--and that includes yourself.  
    Posted by kaybee1987
    I met by bf a year and a half ago, and we were dating within two weeks of meeting, and started talking marriage about six months into dating. I am now 23 and he's 20 and we know we will end up getting married, but I won't set a date yet. The reason--we are both so young. I am continually learning new things about him every day, and sometimes, those things make me doubt if our relationship will last. Even though I'm pretty sure it will, I am SO GLAD that I took the time to learn these things about him, and us, BEFORE I ran into a lifelong comittment. We're still talking marriage for next year or the year after, and while I most certainly want to be married now because I want to spend every day of my life with him, I know the best thing for our relationship is waiting. 

    Don't be afraid to let your relationship "age" a little--it will get sweeter, more passionate and deeper with every day. Enjoy that before marriage, because it will create a solid foundation for a lasting marriage to stand on!
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  • The divorce rate goes down significantly every year as the bride approaches and reaches 25. So there's a whole slew of stories for you, enough for statistical significance: getting engaged young is bad news. Whenever I hear about someone talking about getting married before 25, I always ask: why do you think that the statistics won't apply to you? Don't you think every other 20 yr old bride thought that they didn't apply to her? What do you gain from rushing? 
    Posted by DelBride2012
    One note on this one. Yes, there is a stat that young marriages are at more risk of divorce. However, having studyed psychology for years, I want to point out that there are many reasons for this, namely: lack of brain development (the prefrontal cortex--the part of the brain that involves rational and analytical thought does not fully develop until around age 24, resulting in risky teen behaviors), lack of maturation (the process of becoming an individuated adult--aka. not relying on parents, not taking responsibility for actions, acting like a teenager, etc.--often lasts until mid to late 20s in females and even into early 30s for males)... On and on we could discuss the factors that put young people at risk for not understanding what they are getting themselves into. 

    However, I believe there are definite exceptions to this. With adequate resources (pre-marital counseling, therapy for dealing with past emotional baggage, reading marriage books, etc.), young people who have spent a good deal of time getting to know each other (for at least an average of 2 years), and understand that the honeymoon phase will end, and it takes work to keep the love alive in marriage, a solid, lasting marriage can be created--even if the couple is under 25!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Young and Fast Engagement:
    I am only 19, will be 20 in June, and my fiance is 24, will be 25 in May, and we just got engaged about a month ago. My family is not being supportive because they say I am too young, and on top of that, we got engaged pretty soon after we started dating. We have known each other since September but we have only been dating since January and our wedding is for January 2013. I know that it is fast but I knew within the first couple of days that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and he felt the same. Most of my family, all my immediate family except my mom, is completely against us getting married so soon. But we don't see the point in waiting if we know that we are going to end up getting married anyways. Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle my sisters and dad not supporting us? Or does anyone have any stories of a fast engageent they could share with me?
    Posted by Esander10

    I was only dateing my current FI for a few months before we got engaged and had been egaged for over a yr. dateing him for 2 yrs come dec around christmas. we decided on a wedding a yr out from when he asked me to marry him. It was an easter sunday hew asked me to be his wife and we marrying in sept. At first my mom wasnt supportive but she came around  on her own your family will to come to realize ur guna marry the man you love no matter what things over the year might get stressful but hey too will come to grips with the weding i had an unsupportive mom and step dad stayed out of it but a supportive father and my boys love my FI with a purple passion which is a godd thing we had support from my FI's parents and sister and brother. In time the reliaze  you be happy give it time they in shock.
  • There are reasons for wanting to marry sooner.  My fiance and I aren't sleeping together, having sex, or even kissing before we marry. We will both be 20 when we marry in a month.  Some other statistics - since this board seems to throw them around - you are more likely to divorce if you live together before marriage.
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