Young Brides

junebug62511

I think there should be a board for young brides where we can feel free to post without having to worry about older brides telling us we are too young, not ready yet, or encouraging us to wait. What they say won't change our decision, it just sucks when my whole family is on board with my marriage but on here I have to continually defend myself from other knotties. I'm not offended by anyone, it just would be nice to not have to explain my reasoning to strangers or convince them that I am doing the right thing.

KayyKayy311

Yes , I definitely feel that there should be a young bride board, I'm 20, and will be 22 when married, but trying to balance school, life, friends and work while planning. It would be nice because although I respect and do take the other knotties advice but it would be helpful to talk to peers about the same pressures going on and trying not to be a bridezilla in the middle of it all.

LauraT25

You don't have to defend yourself online.  The whole concept of wanting a board so that you don't get picked on by other Knotties is ridiculous - don't post about being young, don't bring up your age, and talk like a mature adult and it won't come up.

bethsmiles

I've never had to defend my age on theknot. I agree with LauraT if you act like an adult you will be treated like an adult. And there is no need to bring up your age when you post.

bettyshaw

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_young-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:63e6adf6-c9be-4ead-bea1-b5203dcfa50aPost:ca30c6b4-c8ff-4195-8de0-14550170477a">Re: Young Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't have to defend yourself online.  The whole concept of wanting a board so that you don't get picked on by other Knotties is ridiculous - don't post about being young, don't bring up your age, and talk like a mature adult and it won't come up.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

This.

Beads921

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_young-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:63e6adf6-c9be-4ead-bea1-b5203dcfa50aPost:ca30c6b4-c8ff-4195-8de0-14550170477a">Re: Young Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't have to defend yourself online.  The whole concept of wanting a board so that you don't get picked on by other Knotties is ridiculous - don't post about being young, don't bring up your age, and talk like a mature adult and it won't come up.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

Ya, this exactly.

orangecrush32

Even if you post maturely some people still pull the age card, just sayin'.

LauraT25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_young-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:63e6adf6-c9be-4ead-bea1-b5203dcfa50aPost:0a266225-3102-4689-975b-3fd1eb4f3525">Re: Young Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]Even if you post maturely some people still pull the age card, just sayin'. ;)
Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]

I am pretty sure that you can avoid the issue in most cases.  It's not like age comes up often on other boards, and you always have the choice NOT to post in a thread. 

LauraT25

And OP, I saw your post on Etiquette.  I hope you realize that your name didn't come up because of your age - you're missing the point entirely.

junebug62511

Laura I'm not quite sure which one you are talking about.

jenna.linder

What would stop older brides from going to your young people board and expressing themselves?  In fact, I think that would just make it worse...

ChanelShades

Hey Junebug! I feel your pain. Honestly, I haven't read your previous posts. However, what you have to realize about the Knot is that there are thousandssss of women with different viewpoints, different cultures, different ideologies, etc. Just respect everyone's opinion and move on! No one lives your life but you. 

If your fam is cool with whatever, and you are happy---- no sweat. If you want to bring up your age, get ready to be attacked. If you want to bring up personal business, get ready to be attacked. It is just the way of life. Hey--- we should be happy. Some places don't have freedom of speech!  

LauraT25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_young-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:63e6adf6-c9be-4ead-bea1-b5203dcfa50aPost:9b835a59-00df-4c51-ab54-a8202ce8ef98">Re: Young Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]Laura I'm not quite sure which one you are talking about.
Posted by junebug62511[/QUOTE]

I just went back and checked to make sure I wasn't mixing up posters.  It's the thread where you came in and said you were glad we were all judging you for your age.

In fact, most people weren't even talking about you, and the few of us that were, were not talking about your age.

twihard08

JuneBug!
I agree with you too! I was attacked by manyyyy older Knotties, but I was the one acting immaturely about the situation and what I posted. Granted they don't know my FI. Me  or OUR 100% story but I still was being RIDICULOUS in what I was posting and reacting to the posts. (I think) After talking with a couple of my bridesmaids they told me to not let it bother me. Because they do not know me, they do not know my FI, they do not know our situation, just what I posted online, and obviously maturally or immaturally my FI loves me for me. And if he didn't we wouldn't be engaged. And part of the reason we are waiting so long to get married is so we can be older, and grow up some more before getting married. But we both know we want to be together forever so why wait to be engaged or start planning a life together. We are 22 & 20(me) but we will be 24 & 21 (10 days shy of 22) when we get married. Young still but when you know you know right? If you want to talk to another younger bride about anything without wanting to be attacked message me I don't believe in attacking, unless I am standing up for someone who is getting attacked. Or if you have a question but are too scared to post it for fear of being attacked or whatever message me the question and I will post it all over hell and back and get answers for you
=]

Chasity08

I'm 20, will be 21 when I get married, and I have never had to defend my age on here. I also don't get myself in to conversations about that kind of stuff either. I'm not on these boards to gain acceptance from other people about what AGE I get married. I'm on here for tips, to have friendly convos with other ladies who are in the same boat as I am (planning a wedding), and to just generally joke around and have fun. Don't take everything so seriously, and don't put yourself in a position for people to give their opinions about your age and I doubt there will be a problem. HTH! =]

CaliSunn

I think this is as ridiculous as having an "old brides" board. Age isn't an issue unless you make it one. 

twihard08

Chasity08-
LOVEE YOUR DRESS =]

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_young-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:63e6adf6-c9be-4ead-bea1-b5203dcfa50aPost:39867dc8-4ab6-46b1-8a0b-1bea1f64dda5">Re: Young Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never had to defend my age on theknot. I agree with LauraT if you act like an adult you will be treated like an adult. And there is no need to bring up your age when you post.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with Beth. I think age has only ever been mentioned once to me, and it was dropped really quickly.

If anybody does care that I'm younger they don't mention it. To be fair, I'm also not engaged.

marissa_claire

Sorry but everyone else has said it.  There's nothing different about being a young bride - you're still a bride.  I'm a little young (24) but I don't think anyone on these boards have any idea what my age is because of how I present myself.  I always type out full sentences with correct spelling and punctuation, and I never sound like I'm hyperventilating in my posts.  Age often comes up because a poster sounds immature.  If you are mature enough to get married, you should be able to present a mature image to the message boards.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_young-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:63e6adf6-c9be-4ead-bea1-b5203dcfa50aPost:1860e16c-13e5-477a-99aa-298978314a07">Re: Young Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry but everyone else has said it.  There's nothing different about being a young bride - you're still a bride.  I'm a little young (24) but I don't think anyone on these boards have any idea what my age is because of how I present myself.  I always type out full sentences with correct spelling and punctuation, and I never sound like I'm hyperventilating in my posts. <strong> Age often comes up because a poster sounds immature.  If you are mature enough to get married, you should be able to present a mature image to the message boards.
</strong>Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly.

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kenzie2789

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junebug62511

Well unfortunately, being young, sometimes there are going to be age related problems when it comes to our wedding- I actually posted one. The only problem I have is that there is always at least one person who does not even take the problem seriously because they do not take the idea of being married young seriously.  I probably should not have posted the "defending" my age in the post just more like not being taken seriously, because like I said there will be age related problems.

katiew22688

I'm a young bride, and I think this idea is ridiculous. Just be mature when you post. Watch what you say, how you say it, and don't let people you don't know bother you. If they do say something about your age, there is no need to respond to it. Letting it bother you creates more stress and drama in your life than you really want to deal with. I agree with StageManager14:" If you aren't mature enough to handle criticism from strangers on the internet, you probably aren't mature enough to get married yet, regardless of age." You don't know them and they aren't even looking you in the face. Who says you can't just close the browser or move on to a different page?

DarleneSandridge

I can see this issue coming from both sides.

I don't think the initial post was supposed to cause an uproar, but to be honest, as a "young bride" myself, and new to this posting world, I was excited to see a conversation that those who classify themselves as "young brides" thinking it would be a place to come and talk about what stresses us out, how we are going about doing things, offer advice on how to deal with certain situations... etc.
Yes, these are issues that all brides deal with- but sometimes having something that connects you with others (for example: age) can make it easier to talk to others and get their opinion on things... does this make sense at all?

I can see from the other side as well, if you want a place to talk to other "young brides"... we can just make sure that is what we are doing... not trying to get away from the "older brides" but maybe just suggesting ideas on how to deal with it... becuase yes, a lot of younger brides get dealt doubt from people.

Anyway... sorry if I rambled... like I said I am new to this :-/

melissary

I agree with what everyone is saying. Age shouldn't matter, just conduct yourself in an adult fashion and it shouldn't be a problem! Everyone is entitled to their opinions and if you post on a forum you will hear those opinions, both good and bad, but just realize that if you conduct yourself as an adult, you will be treated as one!

Good luck to all of you ladies on your engagements

Also, Darlene, I'm new as well! Yay!

junebug62511

*I would just like to clear up it wasn't about not wanting advice from older brides, its about not being able to get the advice because some people just can't see through the numbers. But that doesn't apply to everyone on here and I shouldn't judge everyone like I assume they judge me. But it is nice to be able to talk to other brides who experience the same age discrimination out in the real world. I wasn't trying to shun older brides or segregate younger brides, just to create a comfortable and judgement free zone.

brunettepride00

I think she mostly wants a board to talk with people going through the same things, being in the same age group/college students/working etc, with the same stress and pressures. I think it's a great idea! We are just as mature but going through much different things I feel ya, junebug!

bballgirl8789

I am 21 and will be a few months shy of 22 and FI will be 24 when we get married in July 2011.  Throughout our whole relationship, we have prayed about what to do next and we felt that getting married a few months after graduation was what God wanted for us.  I have never had a problem with being "picked" on for my age on my knot posts.  The majority of the ladies are very kind and helpful.  I have only had problems with people telling me I am "too young" are people that I know personally.  That is a whole other issue though. 

Just keep your head up, you know that you are getting married for the right reasons to the man of your dreams, you don't need to explain that to anyone.  If they don't understand, then they're not your real friends.