Wedding in the middle of the semester?

bethsmiles

Are any of your wedding dates in the middle of the semester? We are thinking about an October wedding but we don't want to wait until we are done with grad school to get married. We are thinking about getting married in October and then doing the honeymoon later. Do you think that would be too stressful?

heyimbren

I wouldn't want to do it myself, Beth. But I do think it would be a better time than right after exams or midterms. You've heard me mention my friend getting married soon. Her wedding date is in May, and any of us who are in school have exams during the month of April. I think she's finding that to be a busier time than she planned.

I'd probably have more flexible time for an October wedding than a May wedding with the way my school works. October is early enough on in the school year that I'm not as busy as I am the rest of the year. Plus, you could get a lot of the late planning done during the summer as opposed to the school year.

When would you take the HM? Christmas break maybe?

P.S. This is an exciting talk! Any idea on a potential year?

bethsmiles

Yeah we had this big talk last night because I decided to do grad school so that changes all of our plans, because originally I would working while he went to school. So since we would both be in school I was thinking he would want to wait until after we were both done but he doesn't (which is kind of surprising really) so we are thinking 2013? Late 2012 at the earliest.

We talked about the whole honeymoon thing and we would probably do it over winter break if we did Oct. But midterms is right around that time. IDK. We will probably have to see how the first year of grad school goes to decide which month. We just aren't summer/spring wedding people which makes it really hard to pick a date because fall/winter are during the school year.

But I am super excited that our talks are getting more detailed! Even though I know they could totally change. But I love having at least some kind of plan.

LauraT25

I got married in the middle of the semester. I'm not taking clases anymore, but FI has one and missed two classes for the wedding and HM.  It sort of depends on how much class you'll be missing, whether it's a feasible option (I took three days off, for the wedding and two days prior, to get stuff taken care of, so even without the HM you may need some time off).  And it's hard to plan far in advance because you often don't know what your class schedule will be like in the first years of grad school.  If you do decide to do it, I'd recommend doing the majority of your planning during the summer.

LauraT25

I still recommend planning early - just because you won't have a lot of time, trust me!  Most wedding vendors can't meet on weekends, and sometimes can't even meet during the evening, so it's really tough to set up meetings and make all the phone calls, etc.  It's not as much about the stress as just making it easier on yourself to have the time

DramaGeek

We got married during undergrad, so a bit different, but we did it over Christmas break and it was, in my mind, much better than trying to do it in the middle of the semester.  While it was stressful leading up to it, we were able to have a couple weeks to adjust after the fact.  I went to school with a couple of people who got married in the middle of the semester and it was just so odd.  They got married Saturday and were back in classes Monday with very little time for it all to sink in.

bethsmiles

We are thinking about Christmas break too. But we really don't want a wedding so close to Christmas because pretty much all of our family is going to have to travel for this wedding and that time of year is just horrible for traveling.There is really a lot to think about.

LauraT25

Maybe you could do it over fall break or spring break?  Then it wouldn't be close to Christmas, or interfering with other people's holidays, but you would still have some time to get stuff done the days before and/or relax and enjoy being married after.

There's nothing wrong with putting off your HM.  Lots of people do it, and it gives you less to worry about all at one time.

bethsmiles

Yeah. We keep trying to schedule around school but its becoming very stressful and annoying. And we just remembered that by 2012 our younger siblings will be in college and god knows where in the country. I think we are going to have to scrap the whole idea of doing a wedding during the semester. Ugh...we have been trying to figure out a general timeline for almost a year now. I just want a general plan but we are so indecisive about everything. Everyone is pressuring us to do it sooner (like this summer!) but we don't feel ready. We just want to decide so we can tell people ok this is when we are doing it don't bug us until we are close to that.

Sorry I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for all of the advice and suggestions girls!

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_wedding-middle-of-semester?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:81b37e0e-c063-40b4-a97a-68475f21d796Post:4d25b1ec-8cd9-45b1-ad22-d13d6f92ff85">Re: Wedding in the middle of the semester?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah. We keep trying to schedule around school but its becoming very stressful and annoying. And we just remembered that by 2012 our younger siblings will be in college and god knows where in the country. I think we are going to have to scrap the whole idea of doing a wedding during the semester. Ugh...we have been trying to figure out a general timeline for almost a year now. I just want a general plan but we are so indecisive about everything. Everyone is pressuring us to do it sooner (like this summer!) but we don't feel ready.<strong> We just want to decide so we can tell people ok this is when we are doing it don't bug us until we are close to that.</strong> Sorry I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for all of the advice and suggestions girls!
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, but if you two really aren't ready don't make a decision just to please other people. I know you wouldn't do it just for that reason (I know how excited you are!) but if it isn't time yet, just try not to worry about it! Your time WILL come and you two will figure things out :)

bethsmiles

Thanks bren! I feel like I've been a little BSC for the past week or so but I'm coming back down to earth lol.

brittany.ameden

my girlfriend got married labor day weekend and our school started 2 days after her wedding, she is going on her honeymoon in the winter when its cold here in Boston, MA. I think its a great end of summer celebration and winter break as well = )

LauraT25

Aww sorry you're having so much trouble.  It will work out!

MelG06

I'd look at your scool calendar to see when you have a few days of in a row.. maybe a three day weekend or fall break?

Have you also considered taking online classes that particular semester? If you did, you could probably get some work done early and make it easier on yourself the week of the wedding, and you would have more flexibility when it comes to planning.

My boyfriend and I are debating on having ours in September which is my favorite time of year, or over christmas break so that I won't have to worry with missing classes. Either way we have to wait to 2012 too It's a bummer.

bethsmiles

I think a wedding during the semester is out at this point. I think it would too hard for everyone's schedule. Its kind of a bummer because I always wanted a fall wedding. But I think August is as close as I'm going to get to that.

StarGazingHiker

Oh Beth, I feel for you! We just recently had a conversation along the same lines! I just started grad school about 2 months ago and it's an intensive program so we had "the talk" about timelines etc since I can't miss school at all unless I'm super sick/death kinda thing. We also discussed during breaks and stuff but we've kinda narrowed it down to end of July/August in 2011 or 2012... 2012 is kinda scary since I'll have my final comprehensive exams in June 2012, but who knows!

Maybe take a look at your school's calendar and narrow it down based on that? Is there a set program schedule for your entire time in the program you're in?

victoria_leigh

I just think its weird because school is wayy too stressful to have something like a wedding just on a weekend break. I study all weekend, and what if there happens to be a big exam on the week after? You can't really plan for that sort of thing.

Somebody I knew got married over the weekend it March and it was weird because we were all talking about our weekends and she was like, "o, I got married this weekend,". I thought that was really weird.  It just seems like a wedding needs a lot of time off before it to get ready and after it to soak it all up.

singingjessi14

My fiance and I are getting married in February. I'm graduating with my masters in December, but he will still be a full time student next semester and I am currently working as a substitute teacher. We picked the time because it wouldn't be during mid-terms, and it was the closest we could get to our current anniversary without having a weekday wedding. We will be taking the following Monday off (we're getting married on a Sunday) to regroup, but we won't be missing any more school/work or the wedding.

I'm planning when I have spare time and since we're not having a huge wedding (60 guests), I'm not finding it very overwhelming at all.

We're putting off our honeymoon until summer vacation.

lmrini89

I am getting married during thanksgiving break which is pretty close to the end of the semester.
Getting married in the middle of the semester could be hard especially you have to consider having time to decorate venues, hold parties and the rehearsal. There's a lot to do that last week I think. But if you time it right i don't think it would be too bad. Just don't neglect homework, lol!
I am glad that we aren't waiting til Christmas time to do it. That would be a million times worse. Just give yourself plently of time to plan. I planned my thanksgiving weekend (this year! 3 weeks!) in about 13 months. Not too bad.

byn55

im doing an November wedding the 3rd of 2012. it ll be okay if you plan it right. i say do the honeymoon in the summer  

bethsmiles

Well we've decided against a wedding in the middle of the semester because we want our younger siblings to be there and it may be quite difficult for them to come since they will both be in college out-of-state.

jacqui5872

My husband and I were Married May 2nd 2009, and it was close to the end of the semester but it was also right before exams. I don't really know what we were thinking lol. I was the only one in school but it was difficult because i only had time to "wedding things" after work when i had no school..ie very limited very stressful. I didnt miss class during the semester so i had a few days to use and we went on our honeymoon right away. It kind of sucked looking back on it bc i had to come back to real life and go right back to school and be away from him after work so the "honeymoon period" didn't last long with the stress of finals. I am glad we got married when we did bc the date was important to us and if we waited till I graduated I still wouldn't be married.

all in all i would advise against it bc of the planning and the stress of the month and weeks b4 the wedding and to actually be able to enjoy some time away alone right away. it is ultimately what u feel comfortable with and what makes you happy so if you feel its important to have an autumn wedding then you will find a way

krystalaldre

This is what my FI and I are doing. We are getting maarried when he gets back from Basic Training Nov.2011 and I will be in my second semester of grad school. We are just going to get married that weekend and HM either thanksgiving break or Christmas...most likely Christmas break because it is longer.