I'm fairly upset and some what confused about this situation, and perhaps you ladies can help me make sense of this whole issue.
My lovely FI and I have been together for 6 years. He is finishing his "victory lap" (5th year) and finally getting his bachelors degree. I am incredibly proud of him as he has rocked his program and will be applying to medical school this summer. He is very close with his family, and I love them to death too. He comes from a very conservative Mexican-American family and he's a real mamas boy. Family is his number one, and at times it seems I'll never be quite up on that list. None of this is generally an issue as of late. We've discussed family, how we define it, that we'll be starting our own family, etc... and all seemed fine for months now. We were on the same page, and I was starting to feel like family.
So, here is my predicament. I've gone out of my way to clear my weekend for his graduation. He's going to be my husband and I am SO proud of him--how could I not be SO excited to celebrate his graduation? However, his college apparently changed the number of tickets issued to each student from 5 to 4 because of excesssive RSVPs. He didn't RSVP early and now has 4 tickets. That means he's planning on taking his mom, dad, brother, and sister. That leaves me essentially uninvited. He seems to not get why this is so upsetting to me. On top of it, his family planned a huge graduation trip that I can't attend due to grad classes and this was the one thing I could participate in. His brother didn't attend his sister's high school graduation last year and is super uninvolved in family life. He's very about himself and partying, and while I don't mean to be rude or disrepsectful and would never say this to FI's family, the guy isn't active in his relationship with my FI. And yet, it is automatic that I'm the one left out. I don't want anyone left out, but I'm really sad that once again it is me. I've supported him SO much. I bend over backwards to help him with school and work. I'm always here. And honestly, I'm far more dependable than his family is a lot of the time
This is a pretty big life event and leaving me out of it seems so wrong. I dropped the conversation tonight. I was just too upset to discuss it. I know this is quite the vent, but how would you feel or react? I don't think I'm wrong to feel upset, but this is pretty confusing/overwhelming. I can't express how excited I was to support him. I've been planning for this weekend for nearly a year. I even talked to him about tickets months and month ago. This really sucks.
Re: Limited number of graduation tickets and I'm left out.
Please don't marry a guy who puts his parents before you. It's a recipe for a miserable marriage. I'm half Hispanic and I understand the cultural pressures, but somehow my dad never had a problem saying no to my grandmother when necessary for my mom's happiness. It's not really about culture, it's about the guy being afraid to stick up for you.
Regarding the graduation itself, he should be working his [rear end] off to find a friend or acquaintance with an extra ticket that he can buy or borrow for you. If he's NOT doing that, I kind of don't even understand why you're with this guy, as he would have to be completely oblivious to anything that's important to you.
However, I agree with pp that you and your fiance do need to talk as you may have different priorities. If he is putting his family first now with something as simple as graduation what else will he put his family first in?
My FI is also graduating this June and has a number of tickets (6). He made damn sure that I had a ticket because he wanted me there more than anything. He is also the first of his family to graduate college. So it will be his mom, dad, sister, me AND he invited my parents.
While dating, there were always fights between his parents and sister not liking me. He was willing to walk out the door on them for me. That is how I knew he really wanted to be with me and only me. (BTW- His family loves me now. One of my FI's friends was telling his mom lies about me...they aren't friends anymore).
Best of luck to you and I hope everything works out.
I'm in another state but generally grads in my area have been successful in finding grad tickets on craigslist or stubhub.
I contacted the school's organization for international students and left my phone number and a cash offer for any international students that wouldn't need all of their tickets. I received a phone call and met a very sweet girl that refused the cash. In return I took a lot of pictures of her in her cap and gown with her cell phone so she could send them home to her family.
Hope it all works out for you, maybe he could try some of his school's student organizations.