wedding date?

Hi all! FI and I have been engaged since Christmas 2010 with no real plans set as of now. I graduate in May and he graduates with his masters in May 2013. I feel like I can't set a date until he graduates and has a job because what happens if we have to move across country for work and they won't let us have the time off? Am I correct in thinking this way? Several people have told me that if we set a date, jobs will work around it. I obviously want to get married asap :) thanks for your thoughts!

Re: wedding date?

  • I hate to say it depends, but I get the feeling it really would depend on a number of things. If your fiance knew the wedding date when he went in for job interviews and was able to tell them during the hiring process, "hey guys, I'm getting married at the end of x month, will that be okay?", then the hiring people are aware of it and can answer honestly. I would assume a lot of jobs would try to work around a wedding date since it's not just some vacation the new guy is taking.

    That said, my worry would be other factors that you can't control. What if several other co-workers have already requested that date off? What if he's new and just can't take time off for x amount of months? Depending what field he works in, he just might not be able to ask for time off right after starting without worrying about it reflecting negatively, and in this economy everyone is trying to get a job.

    Would it be possible to get married right after he graduated, before you started looking for jobs? If you planned for late May 2013 you would have over a year, but that doesn't take into account how much you are able to save between now and then. Don't rush a wedding just to be married because then odds are you'll look back and regret not waiting to do things how you wanted.

    Good luck.
  • If you really want to set a date for after your fiancee gets married, and he knew that date going forward into job interviews, I don't see a problem.  When my fiancee accepted his last job, he told them prior to accepting the job that he would need a week off a month into the position as we had been planning an international vacation.  They were fine with that and honored his request.
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  • Set your date now.
    My FI and I are in the same boat, I'm graduating in 3 days and he graduated 2 years ago. All of the jobs I'm looking at are in other states.
    BUT because we tenatively have a date set (granted, it's not for 2.5 years) we can both go into our new jobs and interviews saying "I need this week/days off because I'm getting married." Generally, employers are willing to work with new hires if they are upfront about it from the beginning.
    At my last job I told them I needed a week off in August for an entreprenurial program and was able to get the week off, no questions asked.
    It's always better to be up front about it instead of saying "Well, I'm getting married sometime... So I know I'll need a week off at some point but I have no idea when..."
  • I agree with PP's if you want to get married after he graduates from masters school: set your date and be honest with your prospective employers about it. It's better to have a date and be upfront about everything, than to be uncertain about everything. But you still definitely have the option, if he is willing/able/it's plausible for you both, to get married before he graduates from masters school. Either way, the first thing i'd recommend you doing is picking a date :)
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  • Thanks, ladies! This is what I was hoping I'd hear :)

    The issue with getting married beofre FI secures a job might be money, it kind of depends on how this coming summer goes for both of us as far as saving for the wedding. Plus, I have my heart set on October because both of our parents were married in October- happily for over 30 years each! Thanks for all your advice!
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