Unconventional Engagement

Snow__White__Queen

Ok, so I recently got engaged over the holidays and I'm having trouble deciding what kind of timeline I'm looking at. My fiance has graduated from high school, but I am a senior (I know I'm young, but we plan on having the actual wedding AFTER college). I realize this is an almost 5 year long engagement (we decided on Oct. 31 of 2014 so I'll be out of school already) and because it is such a long time, I have no idea when to notify everyone, begin planning, etc. I doubt I will even have an engagement party. Some suggestions would be very helpful, but please don't just say "you're too young!" I know. He asked my mom for permission and everything so please don't focus on that! Thanks!

AKG_JGJ

I would hold off on doing any serious planning quite yet. You could gather ideas, scope out venues, etc. but don't put too much energy into it. We'll have had a nearly 3 year engagement by the time we're married this June, and I am tired of planning. I've been looking at wedding stuff the whole time, and I really shouldn't have. We put a deposit on one thing, and we've changed our minds on it, so lesson learned is don't do things too early. 

Many venues begin booking up to two years prior to the date. Around then, I would make a guest list and begin seriously looking at what you want for a venue and once you find it, book it. You can probably wait until the 16 - 12 month range before you really need to do anything else. You can start dress shopping, looking at other vendors, etc. but don't ask and members of the wedding party until your well within that 12 month range, or even later. Many wait until 6 - 8 months to ask. You might feel like you know who you want to stand up there with you but a lot will change in 5 years. I was also engaged young, so this advice is coming from my own experience. 

You think think about a budget now though. Since you have such a long engagement, saving should be easy. Make a plan and stick to it. Find out if your parents are willing to contribute and what that would be. 

Hope this helps! Good luck!

ExpatPumpkin

There is absolutely nothing you need to do right now planning wise...  We were engaged for 11 months and didn't even start serious planning until a few months later.  This means we planned the whole shebang in 9 months.  And it was a pretty elaborate event.

My advice would be to go live life as an 18-year-old.  Go to college, have fun, etc.  Keep a wedding planning scrapbook if you want to, but don't worry about starting with planning for at least 3 more years.  

agk0125

Beginning of 2013 at the very earliest.

denimdarling88

FI and I talked about wedding stuff well before we were engaged, and I talked with friends about it and them being in the WP, etc.  My advice -- DON'T do that!

Even in the 6 months that it took me to finally get a ring, my friends had changed enough that I ended up not asking two of them to be in the WP that I initially would have.  Also, with not starting planning until I had a ring actually on my finger, we'll have only had a 7 month long engagement and I've gotten everything planned just fine.

You can't even begin to imagine the toll wedding stress can take on you.  So Take your time, get a feel for what you want, and just enjoy being engaged!

clairissad

Definetly don't ask anyone to be in your WP. You may meet your new best girl friend in college.

farmgirl8806

1 to 1 1/2 years before the wedding is plenty of time to start planning (depending on what u want). if it's something small and simple w/just family is something that could be planned a couple months before as long as u don't have to order a dress specifically for u.

Snow__White__Queen

Thanks everyone! This has really helped me out quite a bit. I know I have plenty of time, I would just like to make sure I don't skip anything. Living in the southern region of the US, most of my family has a very conservative outlook on the world and tend to be extremely traditional - almost outrageously so. Luckily, my mom and her fiance (I know, the irony) approve of the whole thing as long as we can wait until after college so not to disrupt my education. I know I may have to wait to even announce our engagement until much closer to the wedding date. I just don't feel like I should have to keep it a secret though. It's an engagment, not a crime.