If Married School & Life Finances w/o full time job

[Deleted User]

My boyfriend and I will soon be together for 6yrs (highschool sweethearts). We are 20 years old and we now attend a university as full time students and we only have summer jobs. I know that if you get married while we are still in school we will get grants and more financaial aid from the school. Our issue is do we have to get public aid, how do we get insurance, etc, with no job? SInce we will be indepent we will have no health or car insurance, so I did not know if we had to get aid or if it be best we wait after college. My parents will help us out but his parents are strick on NO marriage during college with no reasoning and they say they will cut him off from paying for anything.
Can anyone help me?  I know I need to go to the public aid office to ask questions but I wanted others opinions first.

mkmistretta

I'm not sure I understand why you wouldn't atleast get a part time job for during the school year. 

Both me and my FI work abour 20 hours per week and take 18 credit hours.  We are both graduating a semester early and getting married right after.  We wanted to get married in college, but decided it would be best to wait.  That isn't the right decision for everyone, but it was for us.  I don't think you can expect to just only have a summer job though if you get married. 

Annas2013

Like above pp said, you have to be able/willing to work during school if you get married during it.  Yes you may get more financial aid, but you may not.  And financial aid doesn't exactly cover food, no matter how much you get.  In order to pay for things like gas, insurance, food, books, clothes, fun stuff, cell phones, and anything else you need/use on a daily basis, you have to have a job.  And when I say job I do not mean a part-time job in the summer.  It is possible to work during school.  My FI and I do.  Not full-time, but enough to pay for things.  

mrandmrsbrist

Hi there. We're both students and we've been married since August. We are both working part time and excess financial aid (not loans, grants) has helped us quite a bit. We also work full time in the summer and save that money. You've got to be willing to get a job in order to make this work.

mkmistretta

That makes sense.  It took me about a month to find one at my school and I have been trying to find an internship for about 4 months and I live in Chicago!  Sometimes finding one can be tough, but hang in there.

julib33

As for insurance you can be on your parents until your 26. Also, if you are going to a public university you should have student health insurance. Most universitys charge students for it regardless of whether or not you use it; I would use it because it makes almost all doctors appointments and testing free.

Secondly, I would wait. You can get foodstamps to cover food costs that aren't covered by financial aid. With food stamps you will get more money if you claim that you each buy all of your own groceries and eat your own food. If you're married you won't get as much in food stamps. Plus, having a long engagement gives you more time to plan and save.

My FI and I have both graduated from college and I'm still looking for a job. We're wating 2.5 years to get married and by that time we will have enough money saved to pay for the wedding we want and we will have had a nice, long, stressless planning time.

JaniV123

we are having a long engagement as well. we are getting married after i graduate college during my frist year of medical school. this gives us time to save up money and for him to geta steady job to support us. we both already have a lot of money saved up but it is never enough to rely on that. like PP's have said i suggest you wait till you graduate fro many reasons. 

1. avoiding trouble with both your parents 2. to be able to support yourselves wihtout grants and such. 

best wishes and H2H

JacklovesSarah

The reason my fiance and I are waiting to get married until after we graduate is because we will NOT receive better financial aid. I don't really know your financial situation so it might be possible that you'll get better aid. But if you're already claiming independent, then I would wait to get married, because they'll just take into account all the money that he makes during the summer along with what you make; and they'll expect him to help pay for your college, while paying for his own and vice versa. It makes no sense, but there you have it.

As for insurance, you're only under covered by dear old Obama if your insurance is under that bill. My mother's isn't, therefore I lose mine in November.

Jessvln

My fiance and I will be getting married in just over a month. We are both about 20 years old, have been engaged and planning the wedding for almost a year, and have the full support of our families (morally.) However, we have been basically financially independent since we were 18 years old. We both have full scholarships, work, and manage a full course load (I'm a music student...so sometimes squeezing in enough practice has been tough, but you make it work.) Our parents claimed us on their taxes this year because it is the last year they will be able to do so. But, next year, he'll qualify for more need based financial aids (including work study), which will make our financial state even better. We don't intend to "abuse" any kind of welfare system. Just work our butts off, save up as much as we can, and live below our means. There are actually LOTS of financial benefits to marriage. If you each have a part time job and are dilligent with your finances, you'll be able to get all the things you need, and pay rent and bills, and likely put some money away for the "dry seasons." I know my fiance and I have managed.

Just don't get it in your head that you'll have the life that your parents, or older friends have. He will be moving into my little duplex, and that will be that. We'll pay rent here until we choose to move elsewhere for grad school, we'll work and put away money and keep the crappy coffee table my parents drug out of their garage for me until we can afford a nicer one. There's no shame in "toughing it out" and being diligent. BUT THE BIGGEST "PROBLEM" WITH GETTING MARRIED YOUNG IS FINANCES. Make sure you two are on the same page about everything from credit cards and home buying, to your saving and spending habits.

I'm excited about all the things life will be throwing our way. We will probably struggle from time to time, but I truly believe that not having EVERYTHING you want the INSTANT you want it, and learning to help each other grow through that is on of the most important aspects of marriage. You learn to support each other in your academic and career goals, and to make the best of the time you have together, cause you won't have much, but you'll learn more about that person than you could imagine. Do what you feel convicted to do, but don't be afraid to do anything just cause it might be a little "tough."

lgiorno

My FI and I waited b/c he would get less financial aid, if we married!

Ashelton09

My fiance and I are both 20 years old and juniors in college, he has one year left, and I have two. We're getting married in august of 2013 after he graduates. We both work part time right now but plan to work more as the wedding gets closer. We've been engaged for about 6 months already and having a longish engagnment has been fantastic. There is no rush or stress. Not yet at least, plus school is stress enough. Good luck everyone!

marimbagal

I got married the December after I graduated and a semester before my husband finished school.  We'd been living together for two years and were still on our parents' insurance policies when we got married but are otherwise financially independent. I have a full time job now and my husband is looking for a job for after he graduates.  I think the biggest financial worry for many people getting married during college is probably what happens after school is over and it's time to pay back student loans. 

While you're in school you can look into health insurance provided through the university.  After graduation, I think it's important to have realistic expectations for what life and finances will be like (I agree with you totally Jessvln!) because it's important to realize that getting married young with less financial security may mean a smaller/cheaper/worse/no house, having to put off planning a family, etc.

Jlfoster0427

I met my Fiance while in college and we both worked and did biochemistry degrees. We got engaged after we got out of college to make things easier for both of us. I had friends in school that were married and it was tough on them to make ends met in the end. I say wait get more help from the people around you and enjoy having a long time to get everything just the way you want it. It will pay off in the long run and everyone will be happier. My Fiance is in grad school now and its still kind of hard since we dont get to spend alot of time together. 

Bett2012

My parents are the "cut you off once you're married" type and we're getting married with one year to go of university.

Having said that, our parents all got married in university and support it/us. And we have a financial plan, so we should be able to get through uni until we get jobs.

I see marriage as an agreement between two adults... so I don't see why people say they want to wait until they're "financially independent".. to me that means ACTUALLY independent, like, no debt to anyone, including mortgages... not just taking out loan after loan because you're independent from your parents, but I digress..

I do think that we will not introduce a baby into the world until we are financially stable (as opposed to independent) ie: have a steady job providing enough income to pay the bills. But getting married before youre financially stable I don't really see as a problem. Yes it will be hard, but people have done it before and I'd rather be financially tight with the one I love than well off because of mommy and daddy by myself.

Noelle&Tyler

My fiance and I are both juniors in college and getting married this May.  I'll have one year left and he'll have 3 semesters left.  We are both in the Honors Program at our school, so we have full tuition paid already, which is the main reason we can afford getting married before we graduate.  We both have good paying part time jobs.  Since I am a business major, my classes are all in the morning which allows me to work 30 hours a week and get off at 5 everyday without having to work weekends.  He works at a hospital and makes good money working nights.  He is living in the house we will be renting as a married couple and I am living with my parents until the wedding.  We knew that it would be tight paying bills and working part time while going to school full time, but we made sure to crunch the numbers and make a budget before we even decided to get engaged.  Our parents trust our decision to get married because they know how much of a planner I am and how good he is with finances.  I think if you can plan out how your budget will work together, you can judge it to see if you can make it on your own during school.  We both know that this first year before I graduate will be a little tight, but sticking to a budget is huge.  We plan on applying for grants after we are married, because we wouldn't be able to receive any now with our parents' income.  We had our taxes done as independent this year and that money was so helpful when planning the wedding.  Also, we are required to study abroad this summer to keep our full tuition scholarships, which we have had to save up for for awhile.  Basically, I think if you look at all of your options and evaluate your budget, you can see what it will take to be able to get married now.

cpravetz

My fiance and I are waiting until May 2013 to get married so that we both will have graduated with our bachelors degrees.  We have been together 4 years already and are ready to be married.  That being said, I start medical school this August and he plans to go to graduate school after her graduates next spring.  So, we will still be students when we get married.  We know we will be accumulating some debt over the next 4 or 5 years, but we also know that we want to be partners for the rest of our lives and navigating the finances of the next few years is only one of the many challenges we will have to face.  We are both going to have a tough time paying for school, but together we can split the costs of rent/food/gas/etc.

MichaelBrenna

My fiance and I are just finishing up our junior year of college. We're 21 and were high school sweethearts too. We're getting married during Christmas break next year with one semester of school left after that. My father said he wouldn't pay for the wedding if we got married before we graduated and he isn't. And that's fine. We're actually not struggling too bad to get this all together. Just over $300 for the church and just under $300 for the reception venue and me wearing my grandmother's dress means we have more money to put other places, both in the wedding and into living.

AnnieU13

It sounds like you guys are no where NEAR ready to get married, at least financially and in terms of being indepedent. I personally am 19 and engaged, my fiance is 21 but we are waiting until the summer after my junior year to actually get married. This gives us more time to save up for the wedding, plan, and figure out what we are going to do with ourselves once I move out of my parents house. We have already saved up enough to buy a car together and are both still on our parents insurance, but he works full time and I go to school full time with a part time job. It is always a good idea to wait unless you are already out of school.. basically my advice is to wait it out, you will be happier and more stable in the long run

AFP07

I'm surprised no one noticed this:

"Our issue is do we have to get public aid, how do we get insurance, etc, with no job?"
"I did not know if we had to get aid or if it be best we wait after college."
 "I know I need to go to the public aid office to ask questions"


College students are not eligible for welfare, Medicaid, and food stamps, because they are supposed to avail themselves of student loans, work-study grants, and school-sponsored insurance to fund their studies and living expenses. The reason is to keep people like the original poster's parents from dumping the burden of educating their child onto the taxpayers and straining the welfare system.

Basically, Squirrel is saying "I'm gonna disobey my parents and it's OK because the government will pay for it." That is alarmingly juvenile and selfish thinking. When you take money from welfare, etc., that you do not truly need, you are stealing from people who need those resources more than you do, and you are stealing from the US taxpayer. It says to me that not only are you not ready to be married at ALL, but you're obviously not even REMOTELY ready to enter adult society if you are so self-centered, immature, and lacking the ability to accept consequences for your own actions.

If you want something, you pay for it. You don't take it and then expect someone else to pay for it.

I swore I'd stop posting on this site because I was tired of seeing the selfish, entitled behavior, but this one takes the cake.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_if-married-school-life-finances-wo-full-time-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:9da9c6a3-1483-4a49-bd36-1f542eef4cebPost:8bacf648-6ca5-4734-a970-7c87525a77fd">Re: If Married School & Life Finances w/o full time job</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are both juniors in college and getting married this May.  I'll have one year left and he'll have 3 semesters left.  We are both in the Honors Program at our school, so we have full tuition paid already, which is the main reason we can afford getting married before we graduate.  We both have good paying part time jobs.  Since I am a business major, my classes are all in the morning which allows me to work 30 hours a week and get off at 5 everyday without having to work weekends.  He works at a hospital and makes good money working nights.  He is living in the house we will be renting as a married couple and I am living with my parents until the wedding.  We knew that it would be tight paying bills and working part time while going to school full time, but we made sure to crunch the numbers and make a budget before we even decided to get engaged.  Our parents trust our decision to get married because they know how much of a planner I am and how good he is with finances.  I think if you can plan out how your budget will work together, you can judge it to see if you can make it on your own during school.  We both know that this first year before I graduate will be a little tight, but sticking to a budget is huge.  We plan on applying for grants after we are married, because we wouldn't be able to receive any now with our parents' income.  We had our taxes done as independent this year and that money was so helpful when planning the wedding.  Also, we are required to study abroad this summer to keep our full tuition scholarships, which we have had to save up for for awhile.  Basically, I think if you look at all of your options and evaluate your budget, you can see what it will take to be able to get married now. :)
Posted by Noelle&Tyler[/QUOTE]



Noelle: That is exactly what we are trying to do, which is why I posted on here to see what others have been doing. That you so much your response. We are both saving up this summer and my schedule with my classes will be better this coming semester so I can carry a job during the semester as well. Thanks again.