WWYD?--need advice from other student knotties

RachNRich

I'm halfway through my doctorate right now, and at the end of this school year (May), I will only have a year of course work left until I take my major exams, and begin my dissertation. Today, FI just got a job offer for next fall (he's a professor) four states away--and we both really wanted this job, but this obviously means leaving my degree behind. I could possibly ask to take my last year of classes as an independent study, look into transferring at a different institution where we will be living next year, or I could just check out of my PhD program and leave with a Master's degree instead (meaning I would then have two masters).

What would you ladies do? Do you have any suggestions for what I could do that I haven't thought of? I'd really hate to loose all of the work I've put in thus far, but we really want to move!!

TIA!

jessica.andrew2011

After the year of classroom material are you able to do your dissertation work from anywhere, or would you still need to stay close to the school (not really sure how that works....)? Anyways, I think that you have put in a lot of hard work to get where you are, and possibly a considerable amount of money. Also, having your PhD will probably give you more of an edge in the job market than having 2 masters degrees.

So, I would look into my options of doing independent study/ transferring, but if that did not work, and it would only be 1 year I would consider doing long distance for that time. It would completely suck.... and financially I dont know how it would work out, but in the scheme of it all 1 year isn't that long.

just my oppinion.... sorry for the wall of text!

RachNRich

All of the wall text is good!! We had initially discussed a long distance relationship---but, we'll be newlyweds when we move, and I don't know if I could realistically stay behind. The $$ alone might not allow it to work; my GA stipend is very low compared to others. 

I've been told by my advisor before that my dissertation can be written from anywhere--it's just the meetings with my committee that I would need to be present for. 

I am going to check into the independent study option after break--that will answer a lot of questions. I'd much rather have my PhD than two masters---I'm just not sure which route is the best to take. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd try to keep going. Either keep up with it at your school or transfer. It wouldn't hurt to see what's possible, at the very least.

kmt_cas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_wwyd-need-advice-other-student-knotties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:b51d9c96-b61f-4af1-984f-b71d739dffaaPost:47f88bc9-5314-48e9-82c2-473aa4c40bc6">Re: WWYD?--need advice from other student knotties</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd try to keep going. Either keep up with it at your school or transfer. It wouldn't hurt to see what's possible, at the very least.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Agreed.  GL!!!

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_wwyd-need-advice-other-student-knotties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:b51d9c96-b61f-4af1-984f-b71d739dffaaPost:47f88bc9-5314-48e9-82c2-473aa4c40bc6">Re: WWYD?--need advice from other student knotties</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd try to keep going. Either keep up with it at your school or transfer. It wouldn't hurt to see what's possible, at the very least.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div>This means I gotta get my butt in gear searching for alternative programs!!</div>

babybchbum

The worsk they could say is No. But I wouldn't worry about that until it is actually said. I don't think that they wouldn't let you transfer especially considering your situaiton.


Also, Having a  doctorate is going to MAJORLY differentiate you from the rest of the workforce so I would stick it out rather than drop and have 2 masters.

sammichele

I agree with all the PP.  You've worked so hard and only have one year to go with coursework - it would be so sad if you stopped now.  GL with everything!

jeanieg

Just curious, which field are you in?  And do you have a strong relationship w/ an advisor at your current school?   Do you have to do field work for your dissertation?  Is teaching a requirement in your program?  Is there a university of similar prestige in the area you'd be moving to?

In any event, good luck and don't give up on the Ph.D.!  My fiancé and I will be in a similar situation some day, I can foresee. 

LauraT25

A friend of mine actually was in this same situation around the time she was getting married - she finished her coursework just before the wedding and then moved from Chicago to NY with her husband.  She does have to fly back a couple of times a year for meetings, but since she gets to schedule them, she does cheap fares and stays with friends who are still in the area.

 It's not ideal doing it long-distance, but she's made it work and she's happy.  Maybe you could even convince your committee to do meetings via Skype/teleconference?  I know my school has some crazy capabilities for that because of people who 'telecommute' to class.

It sounds like this would be a doable option for you, you just need to decide/figure out if you can stay behind and finish your classes, or if your classes can transfer to another program in your new town.  Unfortunately, most classes won't transfer, so it seems like the sticking point.  FWIW, another friend in my current program was away from her new husband for a year while they finished their degrees - it sucked, but they survived and now they both have careers.  Maybe you have a friend you can room with for reduced rent until you've finished those requirements?

I think that you should look into your options, talk to your adviser (or other faculty that you have a good relationship with), and try to figure out what's feasible.  It's a personal decision because it depends on how you feel about surviving long-distance, if your finances can survive it, how much work your program would require, etc.  My gut instinct is to say don't abandon your PhD, but really I can't say that I wouldn't leave with a master's myself under certain circumstances. 

noelle24

I'd definitely look into alternate programs before you take your qualifying exams.  However, you might have to essentially re-start your program.  We have several people in my dept who transferred from somewhere else, and they have to re-do lots of classes, quals, most everything. I'm sure this is very dependent on your field, though.

I know you said you don't want to do the long distance thing, but I don't think you'd need to do it for the rest of your PhD. Maybe you could stay where you are for two semesters (8 months isnt' soooo bad).  If money is an issue, you can always get a roommate for that year. Then, you can move to be with your FI/H when you are writing.

It CAN work.  FI and I have been doing long distance for 4.5 years because we're in PhD programs in different states. It sucks, but it's definitely doable.

Another thing to think about is whether you'd be good at writing your dissertation from long distance.  I've considered doing this so I could live with FI, but I know that I'm such a chronic procrastinator that I'd never finish if I wasn't in my dept everyday.

oceana919

It sounds like you're reasonably far into your program, to which I would say do not give it up. Look into your options - it sounds like the worst case scenario is that you have to do long distance for about a year while you finish your coursework, and then can go with your FI/H and finish your dissertation long distance.

Don't give up, as you've worked this hard and gotten this far already, and having the Ph.D. will give you a leg-up in terms of a career. Best of luck to you!

Sinope

How important will your doctorate be for the field you're pursuing?  I'm in a PhD program and hoping to be a professor, so my degree is really not optional for my career.  However, I know plenty of people who got doctorates and don't need them at all for their jobs.  I would talk to both professors and professionals in your field to get a sense of how necessary your degree is.  If it's crucial to your career, then yes, you should absolutely do that final year!  Otherwise, you just have to weigh how much it'll affect your future happiness and financial stability vs. the sacrifices you'd have to make to do it.

As for making it work, talk to your professors about local universities where you might be able to do coursework.  In a worst-case scenario, a year apart sucks, but it's doable, especially if you're both making a strong effort to keep up regular communication.