Grad school vs fall wedding

jolene118

Hi everyone! I'm recently engaged to an awesome guy, and we're having trouble picking a date. He and I have both always wanted a fall wedding...we met and fell in love in the fall, and it's just my absolute favoritest time of year. However, I was accepted to a Master of Occupational Therapy program that starts this August. Although I am so thrilled to have been accepted to the school and program of my choice and to be engaged to my awesome fianc, I'm not sure how this will pan out for our dream fall wedding. Ive heard from previous students that the first semester is actually pretty easy to help with the transition, so I thought possibly I could handle planning a wedding and getting married in the first semester. But that leaves me like 4 months to plan, and I'm not sure how my family will feel about that. If I wait til next October 2013, I'm afraid the workload will be entirely too much. I really dont want to wait until the fall after I finish school my other thought was to have the wedding in August of 2013 in between my summer and fall terms...but I've been dreaming of a fall wedding for so long. I just dont know what to do. Deferring school another year is not an option also...I've already taken 2 years off and this program accepts a limited number of students. And I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too lol but any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks :

mcskatcat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_grad-school-vs-fall-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:c46e38ca-9b1f-4f0f-a53c-c0a7951eed23Post:ee448223-b528-4cb9-8745-5634804a3f00">Grad school vs fall wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone! I'm recently engaged to an awesome guy, and we're having trouble picking a date. He and I have both always wanted a fall wedding...we met and fell in love in the fall, and it's just my absolute favoritest time of year. However, I was accepted to a Master of Occupational Therapy program that starts this August. Although I am so thrilled to have been accepted to the school and program of my choice and to be engaged to my awesome fianc, I'm not sure how this will pan out for our dream fall wedding.<strong> Ive heard from previous students</strong> that the first semester is actually pretty easy to help with the transition, so I thought possibly I could handle planning a wedding and getting married in the first semester. But that leaves me like 4 months to plan, and I'm not sure how my family will feel about that. If I wait til next October 2013, I'm afraid the workload will be entirely too much. I really dont want to wait until the fall after I finish school :/ my other thought was to have the wedding in August of 2013 in between my summer and fall terms...but I've been dreaming of a fall wedding for so long. I just dont know what to do. Deferring school another year is not an option also...I've already taken 2 years off and this program accepts a limited number of students. And I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too :/ lol but any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks :
Posted by bulletproofX3[/QUOTE]

<div>When you talked to previous students, were you talking to previous students in your program or just previous grad students?  I'm a grad student too, who started after I got married, but I can say that I know my work in my program has differed greatly from my other friends who have done grad school.  For that reason, you might not have a good basis of what to expect. </div><div>
</div><div>My biggest concern for you would be taking time off for the wedding.  Most of my classes don't let me have more than one absence, and even that often costs your grade.  You have to consider those things.  </div><div>
</div><div>I would personally say to put off the wedding a year.  If gives you more time to plan and more time to get adjusted to grad school.  AND nonetheless, depending on when you register for your fall classes next year, you can either take a lighter load or contact the teacher ahead of time to let them know of your upcoming nuptials.  I would almost certainly not delay admission because who knows if you'll go through with it down the road, and there's a certain likelihood that it might cost more when you go back.  That's part of the reason I decided to pursue my masters now instead of later - tuition is only going up year after year, so you'll hopefully have one year cheaper if you start now.  Weddings can be anytime, so for that reason I would wait on the wedding.</div>

bethsmiles

If it were me I would probably just drop the idea of a fall wedding. A lot of times we fantasize about certain things but when the time comes for things to become a reality our expectations have to change. It sounds like a fall wedding will be more of a hassle than it's worth even if it's what you would have preferred in a perfect world.

jolene118

Whenever I had my interview for school, they had current first year students there for a panel session, so that is where I heard that the first semester isn't too bad. They said spring semester is definitely more difficult. We do have a fall break scheduled for a weekend in October. It's only a 4 day weekend, but it's better than nothing, so i was thinking of having the wedding that weekend. I'm not concerned about taking my honeymoon right away that can def wait until Christmas break whether I get married in October or August either way.

CallaLilly719

I am having the same issue (starting year 2 of 3 of my master's program in the fall). My thought is that I am going to have to compromise. For me  having a Fall wedding requires getting married on a weekend while in school (with delayed honeymoon) or waiting until the Fall after school. Getting married before the end of school would mean a wedding between summer and fall semis. I think you need to decide which is a higher priority for the two of you. I thinking between summer and fall semis due to clinical requirements for next fall. Good Luck!

jdailey1

My wedding is a week after I take the Bar Exam.  I obviously will be extremely busy wedding planning and studying at the same time, but I think it is worth it to have my wedding at the end of summer (my ideal time).  I think if you really really want a Fall wedding, then you should do it.  Plan everything you possibly can before school starts and get lots of family and friends to help and support you. 
Good luck and congrats on getting accepted to grad school and getting engaged!

Spunky414

I would not have wanted the distraction of planning a wedding while in grad school, could not have handled it with school/TAing/internships. If you really want a fall wedding you can have a longer engagement and wait until you are done, if you are getting any federal financial aid it might be in your best interest to do so. Also, I would definitely not expect fall break free, since you could have major assignments due the day you are back. You can only do so much in advance. A regular weekend might be a better time. That said, if you get everything done over the summer and only have something like a final dress fitting and a seating chart to do during the week before, I think you can do it.  

alishaloo

I am just going  part time ( 7 creidts ) instead of my normal 12-15
is this an option for you?

[Deleted User]

I'm so glad you asked this question, because I was just talking to my FI about the same thing! We ideally wanted a fall wedding (fall of 2013), but it would definitely be difficult.

 I graduate from undergrad this December, and I'm starting my masters program next August, which will be online but still very demanding and will require some face-to-face internships, etc. My FI won't graduate from undergrad until either Spring/Fall 2014, due to taking some time off in the middle of college. So a fall wedding would require us to have fall break at the exact same time (which would be very coincidental since we'll be in 2 different schools), and to delay our honeymoon until probably the next summer. 

So now we're trying to decide if just pushing the wedding back to summer 2014 is the better option, even though we both really want a fall wedding.

This is a tough situation, and I wish I could help you OP, but I'm also stuck. 

ksblumb

My advice would be to wait until next fall. You can slowly plan throughout this next year, buckly down next summer when you don't have classes and really get all of the wedding stuff done, and then it won't be so bad with classes next fall.

Xstatic3333

I was in a similar situation and we went with August 2013. I will be working on my thesis at that point, which will be tough but allow flexibility with my schedule. Plus, we are getting married on an off day, so summer is easier for our guests in school. If fall is really the dream, go for it. But think about it, you wouldn't even have a couple of days after to relax...seems so stressful. Good luck with whatever you decide!

PrincessJas

I don't think you have to choose one or the other just because of school.  My FI and I are both grad students and will be having a fall wedding.  So what, you miss a week of class.  It sounds extremely flippant, I know, but this is grad school, not high school or college.  As a grad student, you should be responsible enough to be able to come to agreements with your professors about when you will complete the missed coursework and how you will learn the missed material.  If you have clinic, it might be more difficult, but I imagine there are ways to make up missed hours (for instance, on a weekend).

StephanieDAc

I just got engaged as well, but I am definitely gonna wait untill I graduate (2014) to have the wedding.  That way I can slowly plan things when I am not super busy with studying, and I can get the exact venue/date I want.  Its an option that you can look into, hope this helps!

jolene118

Is there any reason I would have to miss a week of classes other than for the honeymoon? My fiance and I are planning on taking the honeymoon over my Christmas break. I know there will be dress fittings, etc but am I being completely naive to think I can pull off a wedding and grad school at the same time? Without missing too much class?