FI's non-existant job hunt.... (long)

I have an issue going on with my FI that maybe some of you students can relate to or have advice for how to deal with it. My FI and I have been together for almost 5 years, since senior year of high school. We go to the same college, will graduate in May and get married in June.

 I am an elementary education major, and have been working hard building my resume, writing cover letters, getting letters of rec, filling out applications, etc. my FI, a computer science major, has been doing nothing. He skipped out on the career fair in September, and I was furious. I decided I might have been a little to hard on him, after talking to his mom, who said he was "afraid of change" like the rest of his family. I have tried encouraging him in small steps to research companies he's interested in applying for. I told him to go talk to his advisor to help him find out what steps he should be taking in applying for jobs, since they haven't talked about it in class apparently.

He's had a month off for winter break when he could have been working on this. Still nothing. Anytime I try to talk to him about it, he says he doesn't want to talk about it now. I ask him when would be a good time, and he has not response. He also said he just wants to focus on getting good grades this semester, but I'm pretty sure now is the time to job search.

 We both come from families with divorced parents. Part of the issue for both of our parents' relationships was our dads being unemployed for long periods of time. I told him that I am just afraid of this happening to us.

At this point, I'm not sure if I should just focus on getting a job and letting him come to his senses when the time is right, or what. I am thinking maybe we should go to counseling about this, although I'm not sure if he would ever agree to it. I just don't know what to do. I absolutely love him with all my heart and can't imagine being with anyone else, but right now he isn't taking any steps toward making the future we want happen.

Re: FI's non-existant job hunt.... (long)

  • I can somewhat relate.

    FI and I moved to MS from TN for me to go to grad school.  We moved in August and he still hasn't found a job and isn't really looking.  It's a touchy subject in our house too.  I'm very frustrated that I go to school from about 8am-8pm and he just sits at home.  

    FI is suppose to go back to school, but the semester starts next week and I just don't see that panning out.

    Ugh, now I'm upset again haha

    I just have to trust that this is just a bump in the road! 

    I hope things get better! 
  • I don't know.. to me that's putting up red flags. On one hand, he may be able to find a job later pretty easily. CS majors are the most in demand by employers (at least down here they are). At my Natural Science career fair, almost every buisness was hiring them.

    On the other hand, he's entering a partnership with you, and should be dedicating to contributing. :/
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards