single sister

littlebearbride32106

I have an indentical twin sister who is my best friend.  We are extrememly close and have been since we were born.  She is single and has been through a few very rough relationships in the recent past.  Since getting engaged, I've wanted nothing more than to share every little thought, plan, idea, pictures found on the web of miscellaneous wedding tid bits, bridal magazines and exciting finds with her.  But every time I try, I can see that although she's happy for me, this really upsets her and reminds her that she's not currently seeing anyone.  My sister is an amazing woman who deserves nothing but the best and I know that someday soon she will find someone who deserves her and treats her right.  But for the time being, I feel like I can't share my excitement and plans with her because I don't want to upset her.  She really does struggle with being alone and it kills me to see her like this but I don't know what to do.  I know she loves planning weddings and that she's been very excited to help with mine but now that the time is come, it seems to be causing more pain than joy.  Any suggestions?

jennyp08

If she is your sister & best friend, just ask her: "Look, I love you and want to share every little detail with you, but I know this kind of stuff could be a hard reminder of things you're dealing with--should I keep the chatter to a minimum, and just keep you in the loop on big decisions for now?" If she says its ok, and you believe her, then proceed as normal.  Otherwise, keep wedding talk to a minimum with her.

My best friends are single, one is my maid of honor, and I still make a point of keeping the wedding chatter to a minimum.  Even if it doesn't bother them, I'm sure its annoying after awhile (no one is ever as excited as we are!).  Its inevitable that you'll chatter a bunch the first 2-3 months, but hopefully you'll be able to rein it in, with her, if it really does bother her.

Hinaj

Ditto PP.  You can ask her if she feels upset by it or not.  Maybe she just needs some time to get used to the idea and accept it.  And if she wants to keep wedding talk to a minimum, then do so. 

calli0pe00

I also agree that it may just take some time for her to get used to it. When I first got engaged and would talk about wedding stuff, my sister would practically ignore me, but now she's super excited about helping me with everything. However, she is seeing someone, so the situation is a bit different. But it seems to me like you really care about her feelin good and being happy. I don't know if you or she is a fan of internet dating or speed dating, but why not try to help her find somoneone? I don't mean for marriage, but someone to keep her company. I think if you help her, it may be fun and it could loosen her up.

sgervais88

I agree with PPs. May I make a suggestion? I have a similar situation with a friend of mine, and instead of discussing wedding things with her, we go out with other friends of ours and have a good time. It helped her realize that even though she is single at the moment, life moves on. She really appreciates spending time with us and getting to have fun on Friday nights, instead of sitting at home and wishing she was.

526SadieSadie

I agree with what's been said already.  Since you two are so close and probably have that ESP thing that twins have (which is AWESOME, btw) your perceptions about your sister are probably right on the money.  Ask her if you're making her feel uber-single with all of your wedding talk and see if she needs you to cool it down a bit.  She might not realize that her upset-ness over being single is showing, or there might be something deeper than that going on.  Either way, she's your sister and she loves you, talk to her and find out what's bothering her and fix it together like always!