Getting Married While Still in School?

erinandmichael23

I recently got engaged, and my fiance and I both have 3 1/2  years of school still ahead of us. We would love to start our lives together sometime sooner than 3 1/2 years, but I'm trying to figure out if it will be crazy to get married while we are both in grad school on a student's salary of practically nothing. Is anyone else in the same position or gone through this? I just wanted to hear some opinions on being married in school and making it work..... thanks!!

clairissad

You don't have to be married to start your lives together (unless you have religious or family objections). You could always move in together to save on bills and do a big wedding after your graduation (combo grad party and wedding?).

My fiance and I will be getting married after his first (out of 3) year of law school and my first year of working.

jenandcris

I agree with pps. FI and I currently live together and share all bills. We will be getting married during my junior year of school. My last year is comprised of rotations and whatnot so although I won't be in school, I'll be learning hands-on bouncing in and out of pharmacies and etc.

barrylittleton

My fiance and I are getting married the summer between undergrad and grad school.  It makes us feel more comfortable to know that when we move to a new city together, we'll be able to start our new life fresh with all the legal benefits of marriage.

cengle

I did it. We got married last December, right after our law school finals were over. Yeah, it was absolutely crazy trying to plan a wedding, study for school, plus I work on top of that.  It was tough, and I got pretty cranky towards the end because I was so stressed out, but I wouldn't change a thing.  It worked for us; I still have 2 more years (I'm an evening, part-time student) of law school and he has one more year.  It's hard, but possible.  Good luck! 
Oh, and FYI: we were lucky enough to have financial help from our families, so we didn't pay for everything ourselves.

erinandmichael23

Thanks for the replies! We won't be living together before we are married....and I still don't have any idea what time will be best! We will be talking to my parents sometime and I'm sure they will play a big part in our decision.

Thanks again!

LauraT25

I'm getting married while I'm in grad school, and I don't really see why it's 'crazy' just because you're in school - I don't see how anyone with a job has that much more time to plan a wedding than I do.  We're already living together, I suppose people may say there's no point to us getting married right now since we can't get a house, start a family, etc right away, but it's what we wanted to do.  Just give yourself enough time before the wedding date (we have a 1.5-year engagement, and I think it is plenty) and you should be fine planning.

If money is the issue, there are two things to consider:
1) You don't need to have a super-expensive wedding, plan for what you can afford
2) If you WANT a pricier wedding, don't go into debt over it - have an even longer engagement so you can save up, or maybe wait until you have 'real' jobs to better pay for it.  But I don't really see why people feel the need to go nuts here.

farmgirl8806

i thought about attedning grad school, but have decided not to. i graduate with my B.S. in dec. and we're getting married in sept.  i will be student teaching then so i will be able to move back to live with him.  i know some people that r getting married this summer and don't graduate till next spring.  it's all up to u. something else i considered is the fact that my parents r loaning me the money for school, and i could not allow myself to live off them still if i was married long before i finished school. ur situation is a lil diff. from me since u r working on ur masters already and u both r going to school. my fiance is 8 years older than me and has his own business; this it just how us personally have handled it. good luck!

twiceborn

You can make it work

We got married 2 months ago, and both my husband and I are still in school. It was a bit busy trying to plan a wedding with a school schedule (and budget!) but as long as you are ok with giving up a little (maybe a few less people can be invited..) it is definitely worth it! It is so nice to be able to be together, even though we are still in school. It's busy, and involves compromising a bit of time in the name of school work, but we definitely couldn't be happier with our decision!! Our parents were a bit concerned that we would not finish school, but once we assured them we would still be finishing school, they were happy to support our decision. 

Best wishes! 

butchzozo

I'm getting married the summer between my second and third year of med school.  My only concern was planning a wedding while still having adequate time to study.  Therefore, we're having a long (2 year) engagement.  It's worked out really well so far.  I have lots of study time but during days off/holiday breaks, I've been planning the wedding.  It's going slow but I figure by next summer, I'll have it all done

aggiebug

It can obviously work, but I think you need to look at the financial aspect of things to see if it will work for you.

What about medical and car insurance? what kind of student loans can you get/ what will happen to the ones you have currently?  A lot of times, changing your marital status will change these things for you.  Especially medical insurance- and DONT live without it.  So that is where I would start when making this decision.

brit_bell90

I'm getting married in between undergrad and grad school. My fiance works fulltime, he's a diesel mechanic and has a pretty decent income, so that helps out a lot. We still have a small budget, but a few small compromises on your big day are not that big of a deal.

AwkOcto

I am getting married into my 4th year of grad school, right before going on internship (which could take my fiance' and I anywhere in the country). It has been stressful having to plan a wedding, fly out to different parts of the country for interviews, work on my dissertation, and get studying done. I have no idea how people can work while in grad school, it's so busy!

We decided to hire a wedding planner (just for the week of the wedding) to alleviate the stress, because things have been busy.

We are getting married due to family/rel. reasons, but i wouldn't have it any other way. i'm really happy with how things are going, even though they have been stressful. And yes, financially my situation is different bc i'm in grad school and my fiance has been working for the past 15 or so years. so even though financially it has been a bit easier, it still is rough that i'm not bringing in any substantial income to help with the wedding.

kitnamy

I don't see the big deal with getting married while still in school, as long as it doesn't interfere. I know a couple that just got married this past winter break, and a close friend is getting married next spring break. I think it all kind of depends on what is good timing. But I agree with what aggiebug said- you really need to look at the financial side. Will you be able to afford everything? Being married does change those things. I know my parents told me that once I got married, I could be cut off financially from them. As much as I would love to get married now, I know that's not a good idea. We're waiting until about two years from now- he'll have his Ph.D (and already has a job lined up at a national lab) and I'll have started graduate school.

elizabeth_g229

Reading all this has made me feel a little better... I'm a sophomore in college and FI is a junior. He wants to wait until after we both graduate, and I want to marry when he is done and when i'm a senior. I know it can be done, the only thing holding us back is the financial aspects (no steady current jobs). I'm also relieved to see some PPs say that there wouldnt be any living together before getting married... that's a touchy subject with my family as well haha.

Ohhh men never worry about these things!!!