Waiting 2 yrs,...

StaceyP04

So right now I am in radiology school and I have just one more yr to go,.. and starting in december I will have to start studying hard core for my boards,..meanwhile i work every weekend and my school is 40 hrs per week,.. My fiance will also be done with school in a year,.. so this is the reason why I am waiting 2 yrs to get married,..but 2 yrs is soooo long and I am now contemplating planning for next august,..I just dont know what to do, i think i know that the better thing to do would be to just wait and i wont have as much on my plate, but then i start wondering if maybe i can do it all,... any thoughts u guys can give would be great...

aggiebug

When it is all said and done I will be engaged just over 2 years.  My FI finished school last May (2009) and proposed just before he left town to head off to his job 3 hours away.  I will be finished in May.  That is why we are waiting 2 years.  School is very important and right now you need to be focusing on preparing for your boards and for finishing your education.  Starting a marriage can be rough there are a lot of adjustments that need to be made on both sides and if you having to divide your time between school and a new marriage if could stretch you thinner.  I am by no means saying it can't be done, but there is no need to rush into marriage.  Trust I know the feeling of just wanting to be married already.  I am there! and have been for longer than  I have been engaged!   But I know I am in a healthy, loving relationship and we both know it will be best for us individually and together if we wait until I am done with my education.


I promise 2 years will go by faster than you think.  I remember being in your shoes and hearing that exact same statement said to me, and thinking that is impossible.  But those ladies were right! It is really hard to believe I have less than 10 months to go.  I have so much to do in these 10 months that I know it too will go faster than expected.  So you know what the right decision is.  Just wait it out! it will be worth it and it will go faster than you think it could possibly go.

ToriNicole24

I am in a similar situation. When all is said and done I will have been engaged for 2 1/2 years before we finally get married.  I thought about trying to push the date sooner but realistically with my dissertation and competency exams it just wasn't feasible. 

I think that there is really no reason to rush through the planning process if it will have an impact on your schoolwork.  On the bright side you have more time to save up and plan for the wedding

rrmeyer

Honestly, it goes by WAY faster than you will ever expect!! Especially while you are busy with school.  When my FI and I got engaged it was in December 2009, September 2011 seemed SO far away! Now I can't believe it is almost September 2010!! And I know once I start student teaching in August the time will go by even faster!

aras8609

I'm in the same boat.  I just started grad school and we don't want to get married until after I'm done for loan reasons... It still seems like forever away though.  I just don't know when to start planning or what.. Like, should I wait to determine my guest list? And, the honeymoon? And, all that other details of Djs, photographer, dress, etc.  What if I'm not friends with the potential bridesmaids by then??

rrmeyer

@ aras8609  -  THere is nothing saying that you have to ask anyone to be in your wedding right now.  If you are worried that you may not be friends with some girls you are considering maybe they aren't the best choice or wait to ask until your wedding is only a year away. 

StaceyP04

Thanks everyone, I know it will go by fast but right now it just seems sooo far away,.. and I am just so excited to start planning, but for me I am not gonna ask anyone yet to be in my wedding, I mean of course my 2 best friends already know,but I was thinking of asking a girl that I go to school with, but I am going to hold out until it gets a bit closer. So anyways I am going to wait,.. and plus this way by then I will have a full time job and then I figured we will be able to save more and then I can make sure I have everything I want!!  Thanks for making me feel a bit better about it, its nice to have people in the same boat as me,.. I just cant wait to start planning, but for now i will get back to studying

ks3pink

We've waited three.  It sucks but you'll live.  We feel like we're already married so I feel like the transition to marriage will be farily easy so there you go, there's a positive in waiting.

bmerante

Don't wait... honestly... you think you will be less stressed and have less to handle afterwards but life always happens and you will always have an excuse

kdm06c

I have been engaged for 4yrs now and depending on if he goes into the Air Force or not it might be another year or so... The wait sucks, I am not going to lie, so does everyone asking "when are you going to get married...", but it has gone by really quick! I think living together, and now our baby, are the only things that have kept me sane! 

I would definitely wait though so you can enjoy it a little more... Good luck!

stephdonjon

I understand wanting to wait due to the stress of school, but then I realize, if not school, then work will just be stressing me out. FI and I got engaged this past April and we're getting married next August. I'll have completed my first year of grad school, and while I'm a bit worried about planning a wedding while doing my first year, we've gotten all the big stuff out of the way already, so I won't be left with much to stress over. Plus, I have a whole year to get it all done. If anything, it'll a nice distraction from when schoolwork stresses me out too much!

For us, it was either do do it now. FI has his last year of undergrad to finish up and then he'll doing a straight-to-PhD program, so that'll take about 5 years. So it really came down to now or in about 6 years, which was out of the question. My point is, you're always going to have something keeping you busy and/or stressed. So if you're in a good enough position to make it work sooner, then I say go for it.

krissymcmahon

We're waiting 2 years as well. We both graduate from our undergrad in two years. It feels like a long time but with school, we're pretty busy and time flies. I've already done some planning, nothing major or anything. I do agree the whole "when are you getting married!?" thing is annoying, you aren't invited so why do you care! lol I'm also tired of "why are you waiting so long?" Because I am, what does it matter? We graduate in May, plan to get married in July and then I'm going to grad school in September (hopefully). There's always going to be stress but exams is more stressful than anything in my opinion =\

StaceyP04

well another big reason as to why I am going to have to wait, is bc we want to get married on a lake resort, and right now I am working every single weekend and we just dont have time to go and visit these places. Basically if we want to get married on a resort then that would have to be booked now, so i dont want to sacrifice that bc its something we really want, this way we can make time to start looking at these places in february or march,.. so waiting the 2 yrs will just all around be a better move so that I can have the wedding of my dreams, even tho everyone I know is trying to talk me into planning for next yr.

aras8609

Yeah I wish we didn't have to wait, but we really wouldn't get any loans for my grad school if we got married later this year or next year.. so really, it's not even how busy i'm going to be, but it's more how much money will we have to pay out of pocket b/c he has a good paying full time job. 

awolfe2

We are also having a two year engagement. Also because we are students (I will still have one year left when we get married). We're halfway through the engagement and I can't believe how fast that first year went. 

My situation isn't exactly like yours, but along the same lines- I was applying to graduate programs, working 20+ hrs a week, volunteering, and taking classes full time when trying to plan a wedding 2.5 hours a way. Trust me, the 2 year engagement is a blessing in disguise. 

TriSaratops10

I didn't have a long engagement, mine is actually pretty short (8mos) but that was because the best time to plan a wedding was when I was getting ready to graduate from med school and starting my intern year. But the PP all gave you excellent advice and empathy

Just wanted to say WELCOME! I'm going to be a radiologist (md) - are you in residency for rads or rad tech school? Either way, rads :::high five::::!!!  Good luck with school and planning!

aggiebug

oh girl! I started planning right away   yes there are things that have to wait, but  I found pictures of dresses, hair, flowers, colors that I liked.  I knew my colors within a month of being engaged- yes I was open to change but I really like them still so they are sticking!

You can still begin to plan a buget, get a rough idea of a guest list with addresses collected.  Look for venues in your area that seem in your price range and size needs so that you can make a list of places to visit in the near future.  You would be surprised how quickly places book up in certain areas of the country. 

yeah right now its a lot of collecting ideas and info but it has really helped me stay excited and not impatient.

StaceyP04

I know I am on this website all the time already lol,.. and I have a pretty big notebook,.. so I am for sure getting some ideas,..bc its so exciting to be picking out dresses that I like,.. and I am going to buy a journal to keep pics in of my ideas,.. so while I have 2 yrs to plan I am still going to look at options,... soo much fun!

kappa09

I am also in a similar boat.  Fiance is working on his PhD in one state while I am in medical school in another.  We have decided to wait until that tiny window of time between our graduations and the beginning of my residency to get married, which means our engagement is going to be almost 3 years long.  Its unfortunate but it makes the most sense. 

JCM10

I'm going to have a 22 month engagement...I'm shocked that it's going as fast as it is! We're already over 5 months in! I'm finally actually looking at things, because I know school will be busy in the fall/spring so most of my planning will be done in summers and Christmas breaks. Added to this, I'm planning a wedding to take place 4 hrs from where I live. It is a blessing, I would have been stressed planning one for the "normal" amount of time! I needed the break between graduation and Masters courses this fall. 

Hopefully you'll come to feel the same! 

drasher90

We are wating two years until I graduate from college. The hardest thing for us is that he is done with school and ready to get married now, but we have to wait on my graduation.  So while that is difficult, I am thankful for the two years to plan.  With that much time I will not get near as stressed out and be less likely to be Bridezilla.  And I look at how fast the last two years of college have went and realize that two more being engaged is only going to go faster yet!

awick14

I am finishing my last semester this sept-dec. and am getting married next May. I think this may have not been the best decision but we are making it work with family and friends help. But if you do not have the people that are able to help you whenever you need it then it may be hard. (my mom doesn't work at all so she is doing alot for us).
Good luck with finishing school!

laurmd

I understand waiting, and I don't think anything is wrong with it either. My engagement will be just under 2 years because of school, etc.  If you plan your wedding in the near future, you'll also have several months to just enjoy your engagement without worrying about all the little details. I say take your time and enjoy it

sarahjc0036

I am also waiting 2 years to get married. I wanted to wait until I finished school and I will be student teaching in a year and a half.  I have already been engaged for 3 months and it has flown by! I'm glad I'm not getting married in one year because I will be busy with school... I want to enjoy being engaged. It goes by faster than you think!