long distance & prewedding counseling

xjulie2188x

I also posted this on the Military Brides board, but since I'm on both boards I know that many of you ladies have dealt with long distance too. For those you you that are currently/have been in long distance situations how are you handling pre-wedding counseling (if you are doing it)? Any advice is appreciated!

kmjarvey

My FI and I lived 600 miles apart from each other for a year when we first got engaged. Then I moved in with him and we lived that far away our wedding venue and officient for the 7 months before our wedding so it was an issue for us. My pastor had a 20 (ish) page packet of questionaires for us to fill out before we did our couneling so it helped him narrow down areas to discuss when we were able to meet with him.

We ended up being able to meet with him in one block (an hour with each of us individually and an hour together) when we were both home for a long weekend. It worked well for us to get it in. I'd talk to your officient to see how much he expects out of you and what you can do to squeeze it in.

GJones27

Currently, my FI lives in South America and I in Washington, DC.  Next month, my FI moves to Boston.  And we're getting married in San Francisco!  We're religious and our ceremony will be Orthodox Christian, so we have to do premarital counselling.  Our priest in SF has agreed to condense the classes into our two or three wedding planning trips.  He also said that if we wanted to, we could do the classes in Washington, DC when my FI visits me, and we can have our priest here certify it.  But we're going with the SF option.  I would plan ahead and try to condense it into any times one of you visits.  Good luck!

aggiebug

yes you can for sure get it done! and would defintely make sure to work it in.  Talk to your officiant if you are doing it in a church.  They typically do have the classes available and if you discuss the situation they can work with you to make sure it gets done.  A lot of times they can condense like PPs have said so they can do it in 1-3 longer sessions.

We are LDR but thankfully we are getting married in our college town (where I am still living) so when FI comes down for football games this fall we can get it in over several weekends. 

stephdonjon

I'm not much help because we're not doing any counseling. But I know you can make it work. Like others have said, I've known people to attend the longer sessions instead of the shorter, spread out ones. Your officiant should be willing to work with you and your FI if you ask them.

awolfe2

My FI and I live in the same city, but our wedding was in a different one. We started planning the marriage counseling RIGHT AWAY after we got engaged (2 yr engagement). That way even though we had multiple meetings, it didn't seem like a huge stress because it was spread out. And we made sure to schedule it one weekends we were traveling to do other wedding planning anyway. 

kpwedkk

Living in two different states, about 1000 miles apart for a year after (off and on), and 6 months prior to marriage (engagement to wedding) we found a way, whether it be cell phone, or through skype it seemed to work out fine.  About once every few months he'd come home for the weekend and then fly back out. 

Adapting is hard and challenging, but seeing him again after so many days, it has been a whirlwind of love all over

stephjohnson9

Another recommendation on top of the doubling up sessions, if you are like us we need to read books and do things like that, and they only let you have one copy because you are supposed to do it together. We found friends who had their copy and borrowed it so we could do things over the phone and on skype. It made it a lot easier and worked out more logistically then trying to share one book in two different cities.