Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??

BronwynH

Hello! I'm a freshman in college right now and I'm getting married in December when I'll be a sophomore. My fiance will be as well. I'm just wandering if there are any other brides my age getting married while in college. It just seems that everyone is older or waiting until after college.

My fiance and I met in high school, but didn't start dating until after we graduated. I was an intern missionary in Guatemala for the first 2 months we were dating. We would just talk on skype. When I got home we both started college and we knew from the beginning that we were dating for marriage. After dating for 10 months, he asked me to marry him at Biltmore Estate! I'm so excited to get married.

So those of you around my age, what is your story? I just think it would be good to hear from others in similar situations.

FaithCaitlin

I will be graduating next December and will be 21. FI will be 23- he graduated summer of 2010. We've known each other since I was 11 and we've been together since I was 15. We did long distance, survived me being away at college (I moved home last Fall), etc. After 5+ years of being together and knowing we are meant to be, we are so ready to get married. My parents wanted me to wait until I graduated to get married so we are honoring that wish. Our only concern is our financial situation (FI can't get a teaching job and is working retail currently). My best advice: ignore the people who say you're too young, etc. If you two love each other and are willing to do whatever it takes, then go for it. Good luck and happy planning!

MrsC102211

Personally, I'd wait until after college. But it's ultimatley your choice.

OliviaD7712

We are marrying this summer - the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college. Also in Tennessee!!! Where are you going to school???

SCBojangles1138

I had a set of friends who got married at the end of her sophmore, his junior year. It hasn't been easy but I don't think they regret it. Best of luck to you.

FI and I met at college orientation. Due to various internships we did Long distance for about half of the four years we were together. He proposed November of last year and now we're in grad school getting married this May. We were going to wait to get married at the end of grad school...however due to the nature of our careers, we decided that getting married, job searching, and moving all at the same time was not such a great idea.

BunnyChii

My FI and I are both 21 and have been together for five years. We got engaged in November and were thinking about getting married in 2012, about a year before I would get my BSW. However, after much contemplation, we decided it would be best to just wait until we both finished our degrees. 

A two year engagement seems really long, but I think it's the best choice for us to wait until after college. Getting a BSW takes a lot of work and I think it'd be really hard to do that while being a newlywed. I do think it's best to wait until you at least get your undergraduate degree. I do want to get my MSW someday, but I think that having my BSW before marriage helps a lot.

If you two really think you want to get married during college and are realistic about your finances and goals, then go ahead. Like a PP said, I've known people who have gotten married in college. It's not easy for them - not at all - but they're still happy to be married. It's a personal choice and if you think it's right for you, go for it.

Anyway, congrats and welcome!

peekaboo2011

FI and I met when I was a freshman and he was a 5th year senior.  We started dating that year, and we've been LD since my junior year.  He proposed exactly a month ago, and I graduate next month with my BS and he graduates with his MPS.  We're probably going to be LD until after I get my MS, and then we'll get married probably a year after that.  He wants to plan together, not LD, so, that's why we're waiting.  A three year engagement is so long, but it's best for us.  

katelyn26

I am currently 18 and got engaged when I was 17. My fiancee proposed right after basic and was supposed to be deployed til this August (hes back in the states due to an injury) We are getting married 7.14.12 No way I could wait til out of college Congrats!

autumnpotts

I'm going to be a Junior next semester, but only 19. My fiance is 23. What kind of story do you want? lol

alanacatherine

ill-advised! but doable. i repeat...ill-advised. 

mandi921vh

I would wait until you finish school before getting married. 

peekaboo2011

Agreed.  Wait until you graduate.  You and your FI are going to change A LOT over the next few years, and if you two are really going to be able to weather the rest of your lives together, you will survive not being married for a few more years.

It never hurt a relationship to wait a while.

katelyn26

Get married when you want....don't let others tell you when you should get married...it's ur life

BronwynH

We know that we're young, but we also know that getting married sooner is better for us. We'll do better with school being married than not being married because then we'll be able to help each other more since we will be living together once we're married. We're both just so excited, but we're also very realistic. We know what that we are called to the mission field after college, so it's better for us to go ahead and get married.

tiffanycdemeo

everyone has there own views on when is the right time to get married usually people say wait till you graduate but thats not always the case.  each person is unique and so is their relationship.  it is up to you and your fh to decide when is best for you both to make that commitment.  

i am a freshman in college.  I am 18 (turning 19 in July) and my fiance is 27.  we knew from the moment we met each other that we were going to marry each other.  we were only dating 3 months when he proposed to me in front of over 2000 people at medieval times.  even though it was a short dating period it just felt right.  when you know, you just know! we will be getting married on August 3, 2012 so I will be going into my junior year of college and i will be 20.  However, if the money was available we would not even wait a year to get married.  

enjoy your engagement and the wedding plans.  this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and a life memory! congratulations!!

LadyMadrid08

My only advice would be waiting until your financially stable to be married, but that being said even that isn't a requirement.  It just usually makes things easier on young couples, but I do know many couples (older than us who have been married 10+ years) who married without a lot saved up and managed to make it work.  I hope that will be the case with you.

As for me, I got engaged at 19 and got married at 20 right at the end of my sophomore year.  However, my husband is 6 years older than me, owned an apartment, and was already established in his career when we met so...I feel like that did influence our situation a bit.  I had no problem at all being married and going to school.  I even busted my butt this year and will be graduating a year early.  I think if you are both fully dedicated you can make it work for you.  Good luck!

S0095042

I will have litterly JUST graduated when we get married...however the FI graduates 1 year after our wedding (da*n major change...grr)

p.s. we got engaged my freshman year when I was 19...when we get married, we will have been engaged about 3 years and together 7...we currently live together, but I can tell you things get hecktic when balancing a home, work and school...even though my FI helps out a lot. I would also recommend that you wait a bit...

jaycee7389

just curious, why are you choosing to get married now rather than waiting until you don't have school on your plate? i know you said it would be easier, but in my opinion it would be a lot harder. i'm not sure of your majors in college, but i know for most people the first year or two is A LOT easier than the last two years. also, almost everyone changes drastically in college, you do a lot of growing up and adjusting to life on your own. what is the harm in waiting?

BronwynH

I'm majoring in Bible and Education (teaching ESL). My fiance and I spend alot of time together. We're basically together all the time that we're not in school or working. So it will make it easier on us in some ways to be married. It's not that I think it will be easy though. We've figured out how much we'll be spending every month and have some savings already.

 One of the main reasons we want to go ahead and get married is because we know that after college we are going to be foreign missionaries. It's not that we can't wait to get married; we just want to have a solid foundation for our marriage before we go to the mission field.

mkmistretta

I have been with my SO for 3 years and we will probably be engaged within the year.  We are both freshmen in college.  I will graduate Dec 2013 which is when we plan on getting married.  He will graduate May 2014.  If we had the money, we wouldn't wait.  It sucks sometimes, but we realize that we will mature a lot in the next few years and that the reality of it is that we don't have to money to pay for my tuition. If you can do it financially go for it!

eternalmaria

I'm 19 and my fiancé is 25. I'm getting Madrid this June between freshman and sophomore year. And I also agree that it will be much easier on us once were married! No more driving back and forth and cramming for tests because I'd rather be spending time with him. Best of luck to you and God bless!

autumnpotts

1. You'll NEVER feel financially "stable" when you get married. If you want to get married, go ahead. You'll work it out. I mean, don't marry someone not determined, but it'll work out. Right now, FI got laid off, and still can't find a job, and while that's scary, Financial Aid will really help us out.

2. If you don't want to wait until you're done with school, then don't. IMHO, school isn't going to make it any harder. School, and a career takes up the same amount of time, and the government pays a lot of good money to married students. You may have to work a bit too, but if you love him, you can sacrifice that right? 

You do what you want. I don't regret my decision one bit, and I'm very excited to start a new life when I have a while to go schooling wise, and as does he. 

I commend you  

katelyn26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_undergrad-freshman-sophomore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:eac42496-2867-49f1-82d6-1779e0ec4e5bPost:302d090f-eb3c-4623-90e7-8d7f5341d8de">Re: Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??</a>:
[QUOTE]1. You'll NEVER feel financially "stable" when you get married. If you want to get married, go ahead. You'll work it out. I mean, don't marry someone not determined, but it'll work out. Right now, FI got laid off, and still can't find a job, and while that's scary, Financial Aid will really help us out. 2. If you don't want to wait until you're done with school, then don't. IMHO, school isn't going to make it any harder. School, and a career takes up the same amount of time, and the government pays a lot of good money to married students. You may have to work a bit too, but if you love him, you can sacrifice that right?  You do what you want. I don't regret my decision one bit, and I'm very excited to start a new life when I have a while to go schooling wise, and as does he.  I commend you :) 
Posted by autumnpotts[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Love this and totally agree! I see your ticker has 2 days left! Congrats! Have a spectacular wedding and best wishes! :D

</div>

ronandashley3082

I think that if you know you want to get married then it doesn't really matter your age or how much college you have done. My fiance and I are both going to school online, and we do a lot of school work together since we have same minor. We also do a lot of mission trips, mostly just in the US, but I still understand what you mean! Our pastor suggested we take Financial Peace University together to kind of prepare ourselves financially for marriage. I recommend it to EVERYONE. You can even take it online. We're only 21 and 22, but we're pretty close to being debt free, including student loans, all thanks to this class.

Now that I'm done with my little tangent, I say forget what everyone else says. Its your life. Its up to you two and God what happens.

indigopsyche

While personally I'm waiting til after I graduate, I know its not for everyone. The main thing is to think it through. Money is always going to be an issue for everyone (unless you're really rich, which I'm assuming none of us on here are). If it makes sense, won't interfere too much with school, and makes you happy, then go for it and the best of luck to y'all. 

eternalmaria

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_undergrad-freshman-sophomore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:eac42496-2867-49f1-82d6-1779e0ec4e5bPost:2ecb8d55-c9f0-4e18-8ad6-168abddc6a6e">Re: Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??</a>:
[QUOTE]While personally I'm waiting til after I graduate, I know its not for everyone. The main thing is to think it through. Money is always going to be an issue for everyone (unless you're really rich, which I'm assuming none of us on here are). If it makes sense, won't interfere too much with school, and makes you happy, then go for it and the best of luck to y'all. 
Posted by indigopsyche[/QUOTE]

<div>I totally agree with this. What works for one person, may not work for someone else, but as you are showing here, just because some of us do things differently, doesn't make it wrong.</div>

whitma87

me and my fiance had been dating for 4 years before he popped the question. We started dating sophmore year of high school (I was 16) and was 20 when we got engaged. I'm a senior in college right now, but should only be a junior considering the date I graduated hs (i took college classes during high school, and took extra classes in the summer to graduate early). We knew we didnt want to get married until I was out of college, so I sped it up a bit. lol. i'm 21, hes 31, we're getting married 6 months from now, i'll be 21, he'll be 32. I graduate in May,

BronwynH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_undergrad-freshman-sophomore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:eac42496-2867-49f1-82d6-1779e0ec4e5bPost:302d090f-eb3c-4623-90e7-8d7f5341d8de">Re: Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??</a>:
[QUOTE]1. You'll NEVER feel financially "stable" when you get married. If you want to get married, go ahead. You'll work it out. I mean, don't marry someone not determined, but it'll work out. Right now, FI got laid off, and still can't find a job, and while that's scary, Financial Aid will really help us out. 2. If you don't want to wait until you're done with school, then don't. IMHO, school isn't going to make it any harder. School, and a career takes up the same amount of time, and the government pays a lot of good money to married students. You may have to work a bit too, but if you love him, you can sacrifice that right?  You do what you want. I don't regret my decision one bit, and I'm very excited to start a new life when I have a while to go schooling wise, and as does he.  I commend you :) 
Posted by autumnpotts[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with everything you said! I know that for some people getting married in college is not a good idea, but for us, it will help. We'll get enough financial aid to cover college, so no major money worries. & congratulations to you! I bet you're super excited!

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_undergrad-freshman-sophomore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:eac42496-2867-49f1-82d6-1779e0ec4e5bPost:302d090f-eb3c-4623-90e7-8d7f5341d8de">Re: Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??</a>:
[QUOTE]1. You'll NEVER feel financially "stable" when you get married. If you want to get married, go ahead. You'll work it out. I mean, don't marry someone not determined, but it'll work out. Right now, FI got laid off, and still can't find a job, and while that's scary, Financial Aid will really help us out. 2. If you don't want to wait until you<strong><span style="font-weight:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">'re done with school, then don't. IMHO, school isn't going to make it any harder. </span>School, and a career takes up the same amount of time,</strong> and the government pays a lot of good money to married students. You may have to work a bit too, but if you love him, you can sacrifice that right?  You do what you want. I don't regret my decision one bit, and I'm very excited to start a new life when I have a while to go schooling wise, and as does he.  I commend you :) 
Posted by autumnpotts[/QUOTE]

<div>I disagree with this. School takes up way more time. </div>

EStar73

I met my FI when I was 21 and we got engaged 5 months after we started dating while I was a junior in college (should have been a senior but I transferred.) We decided to wait until I was graduated because FI (who was 29 at the time) had to move across the country for a job while I had to stay behind to finish school. We knew we could handle a long distance engagement but we didn't want to go through a long distance marriage so we waited. I don't know if I would have gotten married sooner if we didn't have the distance to contend with. Everything worked out too neatly for me to be unhappy about waiting, but at the same time I don't think that being married would have been a problem with my schooling. We also have the situation of FI being 8 years older than me and being financially stable so it wouldn't have been the same strains that you might face with both of you in school. In the end though you should do what feels right to you.

afmilner

Hello! 

My fiance and I got engaged the summer between my senior year of high school and my first year of college. I am now 21 and set to graduate in December, and we will be getting married in June of 2012 (actually on the 4yr anniversary of our engagement!). We knew from the beginning that we would not get married until after I graduated from college, so the supposed stress of a "long engagement" never took its toll on us. We new from very early on that we wanted to get married, and we have stayed strong ever since. 

If you know for sure that you are ready to get married, then that is awesome for you, and you should totally go for it! The only things you may want to think about with getting married in college is the whole college experience. I don't mean drinking and partying every weekend, but having an amazing time living with your friends for four years and becoming an independent person. One of the main reasons I did not want to get married in college was because I felt that doing so would remove me from the campus community and significantly alter my college experience. For one, being married (and wanting to truly feel like a married couple) meant I would be moving off campus and becoming a commuter student. I go to a small residential college, and living on campus has been such an important part of my experience. College has allowed me to make significant friendships with some amazing people, and I just don't feel as though this would be the same case if I were married during it. My finance has of course been a huge part of my life while in school, but I also know that my time with my college friends is short, and my time with my fiance is forever. 

I suppose, though, if you are already a commuter student and go to a large university, being married while in school won't make too much of a difference in your experiences. Definitely do what is right for you and your fiance, but also take all of the factors into consideration!