Engaged and in Grad school

aras8609

Anyone out there have any ideas/tips for juggling planning and school work and internships?? We're waiting till I'm done with school in May 2012 to get married, but we're not sure HOW long we should wait after I graduate.  Thoughts?  Also keeping in mind that my wedding will be in my hometown, which is 3 hours away from where I'll be going to grad school..

niki12301

Im going through this also.... all i can say is def make sure school work is top priority and get it done and in any spare time focus on the wedding planning. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to rely on close family and friends to help.? sorry best advice i could give. best of luck to you!

SteveandKris

There is no "right time" - we can getting married 2 weeks after graduation - but med school is slightly different - I have my internship/residency starting 3 weeks after the wedding.  And we are getting married in the same city as school.  FI is planning a LARGE chuck by himself and we hired a planner for specific meetings (florist!) and DOC.  Good Luck!

missrekaeagle

My FI and I are planning to have our wedding about 2 months after I graduate from grad school. I think having a long engagement definitely helps relieve some of the stress. I, too, think it's most important to focus on school first and to have someone help with the planning. I hope that helped!

rjtutter

I'm currently finishing my first year of an MBA program, and FI and I are planning our wedding for April 30, 2011... right after I finish my final exams.  While last minute planning during exams doesn't sound appealing we wanted to get married right after I graduated so that the wedding and honeymoon would not affect potential jobs.  It's not a big deal to tell an employer you would need to start a week or two late because of your wedding, trying to get a couple of weeks off after only working for a month or two could be difficult.  I guess my point is that you should consider what you want to do when you're finished, and plan around that!

Rbfh

Hi Everyone, I'm new to this board but am in a similar situation so I thought I would post!
I'm part of a 5-year Ph.D. program (psychology) and am planning my wedding for summer 2011, which will be after my fourth year. I am actually finishing my classes this year and will mostly just be focusing on my dissertation and comps next year, so my time will be somewhat unstructured as it is and so I don't think I'll have a problem finding time for planning. Also, in my 5th year I might have to move somewhere else for my internship, and I think it'll be nice for us to be married before making a big move together. 
Though I couldn't imagine planning a wedding while still in classes, I also think that it is possible to plan major life events (such as a wedding) while a graduate student

[Deleted User]

Well, like others have said-there really is no 'right time.' If anything, I'm getting married at the most inconvenient time ever! I got engaged right before I received my BA and now I'm working on my MA as well as planning the wedding [which is pretty much around the corner!] The FI is the only one that works at the moment, so he's going to be the sole provider and he's really good about not pressuring me when it comes to school. I think just as long as it fits your lifestyle, go with what feels right to you. Planning a wedding and keeping up with school is tough work and extremely stressful! Of course it'll all pay off in the end, but do what you can on your own timeline.

Sea24Q

I think it depends on what type of Grad School - I'm in Law, so we are getting married before I graduate bc I will graduate, take the bar three months later, and then wait three months for the results. I knew I would not be able to plan my wedding during studying and I would not want to get married while I'm freaking out about my results. We did not want to wait another year.
My friend who is in Grad school - not law is waiting 2 months after graduation bc she will have enough time after she grads to be in the town and finish all the last minute details without being stressed.

aahoover

I am also dealing with a similar issue.  I am in a doctorate of psychology program and planning an August wedding.  We planned the wedding date during the time between summer and fall classes and I am doing a lot of the planning during my breaks.  FI and I are doing almost equal amounts of the planning...though his sense of urgency on some things seems to be slightly different than mine!    Some ways that I have been able to make it work (keep in mind we got engaged over Christmas and will be married in August):
-Have the wedding where you currently live.  Where I grew up is no longer really "home" to me, so it was not important that we get married there.  It has been much easier to take an hour here and there to visit local places!
-Realize that you may not have time to "shop around" for a ton of vendors.  We are having our reception at a local country club and the event coordinator recommended some great local vendors.  We contacted them, were impressed, and we booked.
-Make a timeline and stick to it....just the same as you would do for you thesis, dissertation, and studying for comps

Good luck!  You got into grad school...surely you can plan a wedding! 

maria.pedroza

I'm graduating in May and getting married this July.  

This is my 2nd  Master's Degree, so I really felt like I could handle the planning during this last semester.  I think it' going well, but not because of anything I did... FI is really interested in the logistics of becoming wed. 

He's in law school so while I'm wrapping things up and job-hunting we're allegedly having a wedding in July.  We don't even have a venue.  eek.  Oh yeah, he's from the West Coast, the wedding's in the Midwest, and we live on the East Coast.  This is the Little Engine That Could...but I've become more and more convinced that planning a wedding in a short amount of time is less stressful because there's only so many details that REALLY matter.  Some days I make decisions rather easily because eh, it's just invitation paper.  The choices are all great, so let's roll with A.  Other days, I wonder if scrapping the reception theme entirely would be more fun so I could plan and execute another vision.  There have been many iterations of this event already.

maria.pedroza

Oh yeah, tips:

-Do just one thing per day.  IF you're going to talk about invites, don't let the conversations drift into the color of the invites being too different from the colors of the bridesmaids' dresses because then you'll remember a litany of details about the b-maids and lose your focus.

-Outsource to relative/friends brigade.  Managing other people's research has been very satisfying.  I just e-mail relatives and friends with specific questions as to venues/flowers/music and take notes.  The trick is focusing the questions toward something they're really good at/adept at judging. 

JKLieneck

Grad school and wedding planning is hard!  I agree with missrekaeagle having a long engagement/plenty of time to plan is making things easier.  Also concentrate on one task at a time.
FH and I will get married 3 months after his graduation (dentistry) / 1.5 months after my graduation (law).  Originally it was going to be before my graduation, but this semester I decided my job was not worth the stress.  So beginning in Summer, I can go full-time and graduate sooner than I thought.  Which is great, because now about 1.5 months before the wedding we both can move back home (where the wedding is going to be-3 hours from school).  Otherwise we have been planning long-distance and seeing vendors on trips home for holidays or random weekends.

ally117

First off, congratulations on the engagement and sticking it out through grad school.  I know where you are coming from...  I am finishing my second semester in grad school and beginning to work on my thesis.  The others have made a good point:  make sure school is a top priority.  My fiance and I are waiting until June 2011 to get married; about a month after we both finish school.  Just stay focused on school and try not to think about too many wedding issues at a time.