People's lives are crumbling all around me

Kasi80

It seems like I keep getting hit with bad news left and right about people's marriages.  Left and right their marriages are crumbling and I'm just in shock.  My BFF...I just found out this weekend.  Tons of drama there.  Then there's other people I know....found out about another this morning.With my BFF she was there for me when I was going through my separation and divorce so I'm her support right now.  Her husband called Andrew yesterday for advice...I'm just in shock all around by everything.

amberg321

So sad. Hopefully they can work it out. Do they have any kids?

Kasi80

Yes.  They have 2 little ones, 9 and 5.  There's soooo much drama in that whole situation.  Their both my friends...it's hard for me to take in.  Since Andrew is friends with the hubby as well I can't really talk to him about what's going on with her...

amberg321

Poor kids. That is always the worst part about couples breaking up

sv4338

OMG! I've been trying to post on here for hours!!!!:0( Thats so sad especialy that they the kids are so old they will definately have memories of their mom and dad together hopefully they can work things out if its worth working out

Kasi80

We went over there this weekend and the kids seemed fine.  I asked her how they were taking it and she said they are happier.  They are living with her.  They live next door, hehe, that's kind of funny but at least they are out of the house.  She's very confused right now.  As for him, he says he wants her to move back in.  They can't communicate w/o arguing so Andrew and I both told them until they can speak to each other civilly they should not talk (unless it's about the kids).  Once things start escalating into a full blown argument walk away.  Arguing the way they do only makes things worse.  Who knows if they will seek counseling.  We suggested it.  When we were there their son (the 5 year old) asked us why daddy is mean.  That broke my heart!  Pobresito.

amberg321

They should totally seek counseling.

Kasi80

I completely agree.  They need a mediator for sure.  They cannot even talk without things getting super heated and name calling.  I don't see how they can work things out when they both can't communicate.  When I talk to her she says he blows up.  When Andrew talks to him he says she's the one that blows up.  They will never resolve anything this way.  He's a very private person and I don't think he will go for counseling....maybe he will eventually realize they need it.She's always been a SAHM and has never really worked other than a stint at Victoria's Secret for a few weeks.  I have no clue what she's going to do.  They're from TX and she doesn't want to go back.  Divorce has already been thrown out there but neither of them want that...they just use it as a threat to one another.  If they do divorce she'll get 1/2 his retirement (military) and child support and very likely spousal support but will that be enough for her to sustain?  Who knows...he's not set to retire for awhile.  Oh, then there's the issue of cheating...both have suspicions of the other cheating.  *sigh* it's a big F'd up situation. 

Kasi80

She always says she looks up to me for making it through my divorce and being able to support myself and Suraya.  I've always worked so I had my basis covered when it came to leaving my ex.  She's always been a SAHM...what is she going to do?  She has asked me what she should do about the marriage.  All I can say is that she has to decide this one herself.  I can help guide her and comfort her but I can't make the decision for her.