Gift Registry

SarahB0427

Hi Girls..
I have a question...I just sent out my invites and I included a card that stated where we were registered at.  I was now "lurking" on the invites and paper website and all the girls were saying that it was tacky to include a registry card.  Now I feel really weird about all those invites that went out.  I never even thought twice about it because every invite I have gotten has had gift registry cards in them.  What did you girls do or are going to do for your wedding?

ladylulu

Yeah. I was reading up on that also, but I still went ahead and included the registry cards, It's not tacky, people just create dumb "norms"
Heres what I think:People suggest "calling" your guests and telling them where you're resgistered, or having people spread it by word of mouth... With all that comes with planning a wedding who has time (or the desire) to call the guests to tell them where you are registerred?!! ... Why dont we just also TELL them what we want, and how much to spend???

...another option, word of mouth.. really?? People are just going to play phone tag with everybody else who they THINK is invited to the wedding to share where we are registerred???

...Unless you have a guestlist of 20, I would stick to what others call "tacky" and mail the cards with the invite.

I have also received wedding Invites with register cards, and not once did I think that was tacky... so why should my guests think that of mine?? (If they do think that then maybe they should have not been invited in the first place...)

emilypeach

yeah I don't think its tacky to inculde that info, if you don't let people know where you're registered then whats the point of doing it.

question though, is it the norm to give the gifts at the bridal shower or the actual wedding? 

i was confused at my FSIL's wedding when she was opening coffee makers, plates, towels, ect... but maybe its just me?

Kasi80

I too have always gotten wedding invites that included registry info.  I didn't know that it was deemed tacky until I came on TK.  I personally don't see anything wrong with it nor do I think badly of someone who sends me an invitation with a registry card or info included.  I actually prefer it that way.  I was always in the minority when I used to express my opinion on it on the national boards. I was actually considering NOT registering because I was on my own and had my own apartment since I was 18 so I have accumulated everything  could possibly need for a house.  Andrew wanted to register so I did.  I didn't send the info in the invites because I really didn't care if people bought anything.  Like I said, I already had everything. 

I did a lot of things that would be considered "tacky" in my wedding.  I had a cash bar and a dollar dance!  Those are two HUGE no nos on TK.  Only you know your guests and if it's something you see done, like most of the invites you get include registry info or the weddings you go to are cash bar, then it is likely that it is a norm in your crowd of people.  This is how I veiwed the cash bar and dollar dance.  I have never been to a wedding with an open bar unless it was a backyard wedding and the bride and groom bought their own liquor.  As for the dollar dance, people were actually requesting we do it.  At first I was embarrased about it but only because I had only seen it done twice before and neither of those weddings were "my crowd".  I ended up doing it because Andrew and the others I had invited pretty much insisted.  Weird but I guess it's something they are used to. 

OK, that was long but I have been on TK since 2007 and I have seen it all and been round and round these subjects so I've seen all the arguments and points of view since I used to frequent the national boards. 

If some person you've never seen post before on our board show up, or many people, then it's becase someone was lurking on here and ran to another board to start up drama and say how tacky we are!  LOL...it has happened before.  One time it was said that we were raised by a bunch of heynas, and some chick from San Diego was scared to drive through the IE.  Oh and we're a bunch of skinny b!tches.  LOL.       

Kasi80

Oh yes, I also meant to mention that you are supposed to send the registry info with the bridal shower invitations.  That is how people know where you're registered.  BUT that is also subject to debate since I've seen people on TK say that was tacky as well. 

Kasi80

AND if we are going for true ettiqutte then you should not take a gift to the reception. In other words, no gift table because you shouldn't expect gifts at your wedding.  It should be mailed or given during the bridal shower. 

I have never never never been to a wedding where there wasn't a gift table. 

amberg321

I dont who or in what year it was decided that it was tacky to include your registry! I have never been to a wedding that didnt have a gift table and I always want to know where the couple is registered. I dont want to have to call or email because I think thats tacky to have to ask and I always feel so awkward. I wouldnt worry about it and just think about how you will end up with gifts that you want/need and not a bunch of randomness that Aunt Crazypants thinks you would like. I still dont know what to do with the Snuggies, booklights and used glassware that we got from family that didn't know where we were registered.

(Let the flaming begin for how ungrateful I sound )

SarahB0427

Thank you....

Scared to drive thru the IE LMAO!

i'm glad I am on this board and met you ladies.  I dont think I would come back if I had went to the other ones.

amberg321

Aww....im glad you're on this board too!

SarahB0427

Aunt Crazypants...LOL...You are not ungrateful...but think of how many book lights and Snuggies you would have gotten if you didnt put the gift registry card in the invitation :-)

mrs.payne2010

who said we are crazy?? lol.....tacky or not im sending the registry info with the invite....sorry but i got a house that needs alot of decortaing and if im paying 110.00pp for you to be here at my wedding then i damn well better be getting something back in return!!! hahaha.....just kidding!
the ghetto ie side is coming out! lmao!

Kasi80

Aww I love my IE ladies!

amberg321

Hahahaha you thought I was kidding! I seriously have booklights and Snuggies from my wedding and not just one. I have SEVERAL

ladylulu

mrs. payne! -How are you ghetto if you're paying 110.00 pp?!

...I'm just so tired of people saying this & that about how 'tacky' 'simple' & 'tasteless' WE are planning our wedding... It's like dude, when I see money coming out of YOUR wallet to pay, then I'll take your advice... Meanwhile... let me do whatever I want! I want my life to begin with this man (and now our baby) the wedding is great, but its only ONE day!

We will also have a dollar dance (people have already requested it, lol) and a cash bar (I rather spend my money on my honeymoon than to nurish my guests' alcoholism... ) We will provide for non-alcoholic drinks.

My mom & Sis were so surprised at how "simple" the weddign invitations were... I loved them and I did not see the need to name anyone else but My FI & I (since were the only ones paying for the wedding)  and also beacuse it is about us, and were simple people. And that's all we wanted...

LoL, thats my tacky & bridezilla coming out in me!

mrs.payne2010

lu: if you only knew where i grew up!! lol....things are different now but i still have a ghetto side! haha

110pp is crazy i know but its an all inclusive price. i dont know what i was thinking. we planned 2 years advance so i figured we would be able to save up and have no problem but now that its getting closer we are cutting it pretty close on the funds!. im so not good with planning stuff either so i figured all inclusive is the best way to go for me even if its a little more.

Kasi80

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-inland-empire_gift-registry-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69Discussion:bb8c6e37-f255-48a4-9926-f715bc5f242ePost:82c026c0-00af-4e47-9298-ddbbd267cf6b">Re: Gift Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]mrs. payne! -How are you ghetto if you're paying 110.00 pp?! ...I'm just so tired of people saying this & that about how 'tacky' 'simple' & 'tasteless' WE are planning our wedding... It's like dude, when I see money coming out of YOUR wallet to pay, then I'll take your advice... Meanwhile... let me do whatever I want! I want my life to begin with this man (and now our baby) the wedding is great, but its only ONE day! We will also have a dollar dance (people have already requested it, lol) and a cash bar (I rather spend my money on my honeymoon than to nurish my guests' alcoholism... ) We will provide for non-alcoholic drinks. My mom & Sis were so surprised at how "simple" the weddign invitations were... I loved them and I did not see the need to name anyone else but My FI & I (since were the only ones paying for the wedding)  and also beacuse it is about us, and were simple people. And that's all we wanted... LoL, thats my tacky & bridezilla coming out in me!
Posted by ladylulu[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with you.  I did a dollar dance (people requested it) and cash bar.  I provided wine and soft drinks though.

Kasi80

I just dont' get it Amber...why would people do that?!!

SarahB0427

Im doing a cash bar...I dont think its right for my parents to pay for people to get drunk...If people want to get drunk at the wedding they can pay for it themselves...All that matters is the bride and groom drink for free :-)

We are paying for the champagne toast and the non alcoholic beverages.  I didnt know a cash bar was considered tacky

sarabear23

I sent my registry cards in my invites. I havent ever seen it NOT done. I, like many of you, will be having a cash bar, which I dont think is tacky either. Some of the people on other boards who always say, "no cash bar, tacky tacky tacky!!" have done a limited bar of partial cash as well.