40-Plus Brides

Wondering if im to old.....

I am 42 will be 43 in June and have two girls 17 and 19 years old. I am engaged but waiting on my divorce. This will be third marriage to a wonderful man. The first husband abusive the other controlling. Never had a real wedding and I've been wondering if I'm to old to have a big wedding and been married to many times. I just need a few opinions.... Plus I don't know where to begin on the planning..

Re: Wondering if im to old.....

  • LizzieyounceLizzieyounce
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited April 2012
    You are never too old, IMO!

    I am 45. My first wedding my parents paid for, so it was the wedding they wanted. My FI has never been married.

    We are having the wedding WE want.  I am wearing an ivory gown (column and strapless), having my daughters (17 and 12, will be 18 and 13) as maids of honor, my two sisters and a dear friend as BMs. Our guest list is 150 and we are having a traditional Catholic ceremony and are planning a reception that everyone will (hopefully) have a blast at.

    You can do what you feel suits you. If you want a big wedding and awesome reception, then go for it. 

    FI and I sat down and talked about what we wanted for our wedding. I am eschewing some of the traditions, like the unity candle and the traditional bouquet toss. 

    Take this time to consider what you'd like, talk to your FI about what he'd like...then go from there.
  • Ditto Lizzi, first marriage for FI, second for me.  We are having the wedding we want, some tradition some not so traditional.  My 21 year old daughter is my MOH and my 19 year old son is my Dude of Honor (and he is walking me down the aisle). 
  • Your preaching to the choir sister! I'm getting married for the third (and final!) time too. I agree with the other women. Talk it over with your FI and your two girls and see how everyone feels. You may be worrying over nothing. It's your wedding, do what makes you happy.
  • If your too old then what are the rest of us? I will be just shy of my 44th bday when we marry and FI will be 51. We have 7 kids between us and 3 will be attending. The others have work, pregnancies and college. Second wedding for both and we just figure the first was practice but we gained great kids out of them. 
    You can do whatever you want. I agree with the pp. Talk it over and see what you envision, just do what you and your FI want and what works for you. 
    We are taking everyone that wants to go to Maui, partying for 5 days and then staying, "alone", for an additional 7 for our HM. Can't wait. 
    hollyschaub[Deleted User]
  • Heck no your not too old!!  I just turned 40 and FI is 38 we have 4 boys collectively and they are all groomsmen!  This is my first wedding and FI's second.  A wedding is a celebration of the love that the two of you have found and there is no reason you shouldn't be able to do what you want to show it!  My entire family (9 siblings) is so excited and its been nothing but wedding chatter for the last six months (okay well I do have 5 sisters).  Its going to be beautiful and fun.  You deserve to have what you want and don't worry about what anyone else thinks its your day to have it your way (okay that kind of sounds like a McD's commercial sorry)! Congrats and have fun!

    Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ~ Sam Keen
  • If you are to old then I need to stop right . My goodness I am older than everyone . Second marriage for me 1st for him and my children are in my wedding also. My daughter is my MOH. You are a long way from being to old!
  • No,  you should definitely celebrate this relationship!  I'm 52, and was 48 when I married for the second time (his first).  

    But, for other posters,  a REAL WEDDING is not defined by how many guests you have at the ceremony or reception.  If that were the case, then I wouldn't be married.  Those of us who choose not to have a ceremony in front of an audience are insulted by that terminology. 

    Also, runningmare, as I told a poster in another thread, dang nab it, I so hope that you don't become a widow or get divorced.  Because then the rest of your life would be spent alone.  Gosh, I hate it when people say "this will be my last" or "this will be my ONLY" wedding.  The latter is usually stated to those of us on the second wedding board when some idiot stumbles onto the board thinking it's for "do-overs" because she "didn't have a real wedding" and now wants a PPD. 

    Am I too sensitive?  Probably.  But I'm tired, and I'm really tired of giving etiquette and grammar lessons.  And many people need to realize how all this sounds to others. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
    Blue_Bird
  • In Response to Re: Wondering if im to old.....:
    Am I too sensitive?  Probably.  But I'm tired, and I'm really tired of giving etiquette and grammar lessons.  And many people need to realize how all this sounds to others. 
    Posted by handfast4me
    Actually, no, I do not think you're being too sensitive.  I have always found it insulting that many people do not consider a JOP ceremony a wedding.  Insulting?  Yes.  Why?  Because my parents were married by a minister in his home ... just my mom, dad, the minister (always thought it was a JOP until dad passed away last summer and I found their marriage certificate) and his wife.  There are beautiful photographs and it was as real as it could get.

    Anyhoo, OP ... I would say you might want to take a step back and push pause on planning your wedding until you are no longer married.  Perhaps having final divorce papers in-hand will give you the milestone you need to jump into planning without the lingering doubts/questions currently twisting you up in knots. Just a thought ...
  • I hope you arent too old!!  I am 43...so please tell me I am not too old!  :)
    Counting the days until I marry the man of my dreams. Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • runningmarerunningmare
    First Comment
    member
    edited May 2012
    @ handfast4me - geez... 

    Also, runningmare, as I told a poster in another thread, dang nab it, I so hope that you don't become a widow or get divorcedBecause then the rest of your life would be spent alone.  Gosh, I hate it when people say "this will be my last" or "this will be my ONLY" wedding.  The latter is usually stated to those of us on the second wedding board when some idiot stumbles onto the board thinking it's for "do-overs" because she "didn't have a real wedding" and now wants a PPD.  

    very sensitive? obviously not to someone else's feelings. wow, it was just a post.

    racey69 - Both my future hubby and myself are in our early 50's so you are not old! Wink We are!
  • You are not too old. I am 47, and a widow. I am marrying  a great guy (also 47) who has never been married. Go for what you and your FI want.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    [Deleted User]
  • Hello, You are never too old to get an education, get a job or be in love. Age is you number to shows the years of wisdom you have. You wedding is with a different man, you do whatever makes your heart feels for. If you want to have a big Fat Greek Wedding do it lol. Your wedding should be what the two of you want that makes you happy.  So congrats to you both and do your thing.S tay forever bless... 
    [Deleted User]
  • Do whatever you heart feels for I meant to say LOL. Have a wondeful time on your wedding day..Say forever bless
  • Hi,  In my opinion, and from what I've read elsewhere, the main reason for having your big wedding at any age and in any situation is that YOU DESERVE to have your dream come true!!!

    You and I have a lot in common. I am also 42, though I was not blessed with kids. This, actually, will be my 4th wedding. None of the first three were anything to even speak about.

     My fiance (who I knew as a teenager) wants to give me the wedding of my dreams. With me unable to work, our finances are limited. So we have decided on waiting for the large wedding, and are planning a wedding with the jp at our state capitol in just a few months.  The reason for not waiting is so that we will be married and thus I can get on his insurance for my medical care and also so he will be responsible for any legal affairs (thus being my next of kin). It's a long explanation as to why those two things are so important, but neither of those reasons are more important to the love we have for each other and the fact that we just don't want to wait to get married because of our love.

    If you want to message me privately, I would love that since we have so much in common. Please let me know! I'm very excited for you and hope that I have answered your question. Just remember, if anyone disagree's with your choice to have a grand wedding, they don't need to come! I'm positive you will have plenty of people who love you that WILL want to be in attendance! :-)
  •  It's sad that some people are so judgmental about how one person calls it this, one person calls it that. If you can't relate to how someone expresses themselves, then just don't comment. No one has asked anyone to be the person ensuring everyone is using perfect etiquette or perfect grammar on ANY of the boards.... 
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