40-Plus Brides

Oh Dear!

Where to start? 
Well, I'm NOT 25 and a size "00", and this will be both our second weddings, so I know I'd look rediculous in one of those white tulle numbers, plus we're planning May in FL, outside, so it'll be H-O-T-T-T!!!!! 
What is the "proper" attire for an older, second time bride?  I have a BEAUTIFUL gunmetal dress picked out, and that would still go with the pink & black I'd like to use.  Besides, it'll just be me, him, the minister, the photog & a witness. 
Why so small?  Both our families have a terminaly ill parent that can't be moved & they're hundreds of miles apart so we can't get married "here" or "there", so we're doing this for US this time! 
But I digress.  So, what is the "proper" attire?

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