in a bitc*y mood..

IslandBeachBride

This post totally set me off - and today, it's not taking much.  I threw my 2 cents in.  *Big Deal*. 

Wedding Recap Board - Lame Bridesmaids

Lisa50

Ugh!  I couldn't get past the second page.  So much b#tching, so little time.  Goodness, the sense of entitlement is ridiculous. 

The OP brought up something that says it all.  She referred to the years of dreaming/thinking what the wedding should/would be like, what "society" taught her.  If she could have taken that introspection one step further, she would realize it was not society teaching her these things, but the huge marketing machine of the wedding industrial complex.  Poor thing, she almost hit the nail on the head.  *sigh*

IslandBeachBride

Oh I know.  I can understand how the poster was hurt but some of those girls get down right nasty with their comments; rubs me the wrong way and it's easy to do today. hahaha

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_bitcy-mood?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:945646b0-01d8-4e0b-a244-be5b31885b53Post:f3af5c0d-8b8d-4637-a739-36943507ebf2">Re: in a bitc*y mood..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in a bitc*y mood.. : Yeah, I saw that.  I've been following her posts since last night.  I think she and KellyBrian <strong>might throw down</strong>.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

You crack me up!

maglinpa

I read the post and man--some of those girls were harsh.  I don't think that anyone should be upset because someone did not get them a gift, but I can see being hurt by their attitudes about the rehearsal and bachelorette party.  If the person you are having the party for does not drink why would you go bar hopping?  Would you take a vegetarian to a churrascaria (Fogo de Chao)?  I think if one of my friends were to have said if you do not like our plans, don't come, when I merely suggested going to dinner I would have a) been very tempted to not go and may not have gone and b) seriously thought about our friendship.  That response was rude and unnecessary.

I am the type of person that would go out of my way to help anyone.  But that is who I am.  I call when I am going to be late (usually before I am actually late) and if I say I am going to do something I do it.  However, I realize that all people are not like that and I accept that.  It may still hurt my feelings when I do not get treated the same way that I treat others, but I do what I do because that is how I operated, not because I want something in return.  However, the people that I am having be a part of my special day are my friends--dear, dear friends.  Their friendship is their gift to me.  I would rather have that then a card.  However, I can tell you that none of my friends would ever basically tell me to "pound salt" when I made a suggestion for our night out together.

memSomerville

I wonder if this is the outcome of the helicopter parenting that became an issue with this generation?

I hear from my college-professer type friends that increasingly kids need help from their parents to finish their god-dammned homework, or write papers. Or contact the dispensary for some medical need. IN COLLEGE!

Another friend frequently complains about the bubble-wrapping of kids. They've been so insulated from stuff going wrong that they don't know how to deal with anything that deviates from the plans in their head.

And a lot of parents have swooped down and done everything for these kids.

Maybe it's an expectation problem on the kids' parts.

*Note: this is not all parents--there are great ones out there raising strong and  capable kids. You just hear about the whingers, like in this case.

*Note 2: I am unencumbered by any actual data on this, I have just got anecdotes from trustworthy friends. I may be completely off base.

shytownkelly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_bitcy-mood?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:945646b0-01d8-4e0b-a244-be5b31885b53Post:2664c2fa-d69d-4645-b84b-bfc0d3b099f8">Re: in a bitc*y mood..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in a bitc*y mood.. : This kind of crap makes me nuts. 
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

As a parent of teens that have grown up surrounded by the helicopter and bubblewrapping other parents - I get looked at funny A LOT! 

I have taught my girls to be competitive. and that they are responsible for their own happiness in life and have to OWN their actions.  You know - stuff that we were taught by our parents.

When they were in grade school they had Self-Esteem classes.  SERIOUSLY.  CLASSES on how to be full of yourself. 

I am truly not afraid of the Rapture or Zombies - but the idea these completely incapable of making a decision for themselves (or sucking it up when they do it wrong) will someday be running this country keeps me up at night.

shytownkelly

Oh and regarding the lame bridesmaids?  No matter how entitled the OP sounds - it would still suck if your supposed besties barely phoned it in for you.  I know the party line is "buy the dress and show up" but come on.  I don't think you should expect them to slave for you by any stretch, but if you say you're going to help me decorate then by george show up to help. 

Or at least bring tequila if you're late. 

But then again - I don't have a wedding party.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_bitcy-mood?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:945646b0-01d8-4e0b-a244-be5b31885b53Post:026147db-8c85-4097-bf08-5ad3943a005b">Re: in a bitc*y mood..</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and regarding the lame bridesmaids?  No matter how entitled the OP sounds - it would still suck if your supposed besties barely phoned it in for you.  I know the party line is "buy the dress and show up" but come on.  I don't think you should expect them to slave for you by any stretch, but if you say you're going to help me decorate then by george show up to help.  Or at least bring tequila if you're late.  <strong>But then again - I don't have a wedding party.
</strong>Posted by shytownkelly[/QUOTE]

And therein lies the beauty of maturity.  You <u>know</u> things will be smoother without a wedding party.  In fact, you know your marriage will still be valid if you don't have 4 bridesmaids.  Unfortunately, a lot of women just don't get that.  Which brings us back to the marketing machine -- people have been convinced they NEED a ga-zillion attendants, not even realizing they've actually been convinced to buy matching dresses, shoes, hair crap, etc. *sigh*

memSomerville

shytownkelly Oh, I agree that it may really be hard for her to get stiffed by her supposed team. And they may really just be jerks. On the other hand--we don't know what this princess may have done or said to them that may have contributed to their...er...performance problems. And some bridemaids probably think that being picked is just like the softball teams where there's no real responsibility. Everyone gets a flower and that's the end of that....

And also to be fair to youngstahs: the marital-industrial complex really has warped their perceptions. We have the benefit of years prior to that to know it wasn't always like this.

But I agree with PP: just showing up is not sufficient for an award, a win, a pat on the head.

IslandBeachBride

I love you girls!  OMG, I'm laughing my a** off!  Bring tequila. ))  Lots too, even.

The closest thing I'll have to bridesmaids are dolphins - if I'm lucky! LOL

I look at it this way, if your old enough to get married, you better expect to pay for it yourself AND learn how to handle crap that doesn't go right... because with a wedding and everything that goes with...it's destiny.

memSomerville

OMG--just found some data to back me up:

<h1>Children growing weaker as computers replace outdoor activity
</h1><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/may/21/children-weaker-computers-replace-activity" rel='nofollow'>http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/may/21/children-weaker-computers-replace-activity</a>

[QUOTE]The fact that 10% could not do the wall bars test and another 10% refused to try was "really shocking", he added. "That probably shows that climbing and holding their own weight was something they hadn't done before."[/QUOTE]

This is actually pretty sad, with lots of consequences over the whole lifespan...