Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name

Knot Michelle

Are you thinking about changing your last name after you get married? We'll be holding a Q&A with Huffington Post columnists The Garter Brides, also known for their book Love for Grown-Ups: The Garter Brides' Guide to Marrying for Life When You've Already Got a Life. They’ll offer you expert advice and answer questions ranging from:

-post-wedding to-dos if you’re changing your last name
-what to do when kids are in the picture
-steps you need to take if FI is taking your last name
-how to approach the discussion if FI wants you to change your last name but you don’t
-choosing a last name when it’s your second marriage
-whether or not to change your name professionally

Ask them a question by replying to this post and they’ll answer on Thursday, May 3, at 2 p.m. Everyone who asks a question will be entered to win one of five copies of their book Love for Grown-Ups.

You do not need to include any personal information in your reply. Just reply below and we will contact the winners privately via the email they used to login to the site. Entries that do not answer the question will not be considered.

To read the official rules, click here

lvalastro

I would like to take my fiance's name but use mine in my profession. Our last names are too long to hypenate. Any suggestions?

misstomrstodr

I am hyphenating my last name so it's Mylastname-Hislastname,  but if someone writes me a check for Christina Hislastname without including my full hyphenated last name, can I still cash it or does everything for me have to include my entire full last name?

akapp19

When should someone consider changing their name professionally or not? I will be graduating and getting certified 2 months before my wedding. I am unsure what way to go about the name thing in relation to my upcoming job and certification. 

brookemj1122

Changing name, marriage license...what's first in NC?  And what are the main documentations to change on -- license, social security, credit cards?  What about passport (using on honeymoon)?  Thanks.

carnold2011

I will be chaning my last name, but is there a time frame of some sort as to when I need to do this? For example, before the wedding can any of this be done?
I'm assuming I'll need to alert my banks, credit cards, social security, renew my passport?, drivers license. Am I missing anything? When I do change my name is there a specific order of where I start with the process?

aligwen

In college, I changed my last name because I didn't want my Father's name (parent's diverced when i was an infant).  I am still "young" in the professional sense, but having my hard to pronounce last name "Levassuer" has actually helped me be recgonized.  My fiance is leaving it to me to choose, he is ok either way.  My gut tells me to keep my name, for professional use, and I already chose this name.  But my brain questions if that goes against my Christian faith, "two become one."  I need to look in the Bible for an specific verses that discuss the "name."  From you, I ask, am I over thinking it?  It seems common for Brides to keep thier names, maiden or not.

dominodancer

In what order should forms be submitted to change your last name i.e. Social Security Card, Drivers License, bills, etc by order of importance?

sclarissa

We are going on honeymoon shortly after our wedding. If I change my last name, do I have time to do so before we leave and have no problems with passport, drivers license, etc matching, or is it better to just wait until we get home?

Tandra&Devin

I would like to keep my last name for professional purposes (I'm a writer, so I want to keep my recognized pen name), but change legally to my FI's last name.  Do you think this will cause undue confusion later on?

Also, I've seen many "name change kits" advertised in mags and around the web.  Are they worth the money, or should I just do the legwork myself?  I'd need to change everything from state ID and SSN card to a passport and government benefits.

Melanie Carrasquillo

I want to hyphenate my last name so it's Mylastname-Hislastname, does that mean i have to change all my documents? and if so how  and when do i have to do it? and does that mean when ppl send me checks or other things do they have to write my name hyphenated?

[Deleted User]

What is the timeline for when all of the paperwork needs to be done?  If we're going on our honeymoon to Costa Rica the day after the wedding do I need to have my new name reflected on my passport or can I just use my old one and switch it after the wedding?

avasparkles1

Yes!

nlouder2011

I jsut graduated from college and I have 3 different student loans. Do I need to let them know that my name is changing?

avasparkles1

My daughter has my lastname... Which is my maiden and her fathers with a lastname .... How do I remove MY fathers name out of there. Court I guess. Ugh and do I want to give her father full legal name change... Which I was avoiding! Fail! Don't want her to keep my dads last name. Weird.

JasminTM

Can your last name be changed after 5 years of marriage? If so, what is the procedure?

The Garter Brides

We are really looking forward to responding to your great questions tomorrow!! Congratulations to all of you on your engagements!

The Garter Brides

quinparks

My Fiance's legal last name is Mashewske. He goes by the last name of Carney cuz that is what is "adoptive' family's last name is. He is wants to eventually legally change it to Carney. When we get married can I make my last name Carney or do I have to use Mashewske?

bonzieboo329

I'm pretty sure I will be hypenating our last names, its a compromise we've come to with him being traditional, I'm a crazy feminist. My question is...what are some ways that we can announce the wedding later on paper in regards to our name, more importantly how would we announce it at the ceremony? I don't want to be announce as mr mrs hislastname or anything like that. Any ideas?? Thanks!!

alliebee212

I'm torn because he has two last names, one from his monther, one from his father; I love both names, but its quite long to have both! Should we shorten it to his father's name as tradition says, or is it appropriate to use his (unmarried) mother's last name? Not to mention the fact i may tack on my maiden name as well.... names names names! 

jmb528

I already know that I want to change my last name after my November 16th nuptials and since we are leaving the next day to go to Niagara Falls for a few days and "legally" I'll still be Jessica Mylastname. We'll be getting hom 2 days before Thanksgiving... do I have to wait to get this name change rolling till after the holiday or can I make good use of my time off from work and knock that off my list?

The Garter Brides

Can't wait to talk to you all tomorrow!

christinacap

I want to change my last name but I have published journal articles with my last name on them.  How do you change your name but keep your maiden name professionally?

The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:584f5664-d30f-4a0c-afe2-18da188bb43d">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to take my fiance's name but use mine in my profession. Our last names are too long to hypenate. Any suggestions?
Posted by lvalastro[/QUOTE]
Dear Ivalastro,<div>We think you have the right idea - you can use your name professionally and also change your name to your fiance's legally for all paperwork!  If your names are too long to hyphenate then don't do it - it will wearing in the long run!  Congratulations!  The Garter Brides</div>

The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:8a1136dc-da9c-4d57-a0eb-85ff2fa9b3a8">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I am hyphenating my last name so it's Mylastname-Hislastname,  but if someone writes me a check for Christina Hislastname without including my full hyphenated last name, can I still cash it or does everything for me have to include my entire full last name?
Posted by misstomrstodr[/QUOTE]
Dear Misstomrstodr,<div>Not to worry - this happens all the time.  Give your bank a 'heads up' about this and it will be fine. You do not need you hyphenated last name for this.  Congratulations from The Garter Brides</div>

The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:8c4b611b-46d1-4240-8ea5-f1a1f3b54611">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]When should someone consider changing their name professionally or not? I will be graduating and getting certified 2 months before my wedding. I am unsure what way to go about the name thing in relation to my upcoming job and certification. 
Posted by akapp19[/QUOTE]<div>Dear akapp19,</div><div>This is a happy problem - getting certified and married within a few months - congrats!  We suggest that you get certified in your maiden name - you can always change it after the wedding - have fun at your graduation and wedding - enjoy this wonderful time in your life.

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The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:97ebae3c-bcf6-4414-9440-0edac3d28736">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]Changing name, marriage license...what's first in NC?  And what are the main documentations to change on -- license, social security, credit cards?  What about passport (using on honeymoon)?  Thanks.
Posted by brookemj1122[/QUOTE]<div>Dear brookemj1122,</div><div>We suggest that you wait till after the honeymoon to deal with changing your documentation.  When you return start with your social security card, drivers license and passport - you can google 'name changing in nc" just to check if there are any specifics in your state - have a great trip!  The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:106188ec-a887-4de8-be4a-b0122249d111">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be chaning my last name, but is there a time frame of some sort as to when I need to do this? For example, before the wedding can any of this be done? I'm assuming I'll need to alert my banks, credit cards, social security, renew my passport?, drivers license. Am I missing anything? When I do change my name is there a specific order of where I start with the process?
Posted by carnold2011[/QUOTE]<div>Dear carnold2011,</div><div>The time frame for name changing comes after the wedding - once you're legally married you take your marriage certificate and do the paperwork in this order...social security, drivers license, passport - once your name in changed on these documents you can then start the process of changing it on bank accounts, credit cards, insurances, mortgages etc....Have a great wedding!  The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:980aab38-a169-4bf4-8de9-a3d15d420916">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In college, I changed my last name because I didn't want my Father's name (parent's diverced when i was an infant).  I am still "young" in the professional sense, but having my hard to pronounce last name "Levassuer" has actually helped me be recgonized.  My fiance is leaving it to me to choose, he is ok either way.  My gut tells me to keep my name, for professional use, and I already chose this name.  But my brain questions if that goes against my Christian faith, "two become one."  I need to look in the Bible for an specific verses that discuss the "name."  From you, I ask, am I over thinking it?  It seems common for Brides to keep thier names, maiden or not.
Posted by aligwen[/QUOTE]<div>Dear aligwen,</div><div>In all honesty we feel you may be over thinking this - your fiance is supportive of whatever you decide and we always feel it's important to trust your gut.  If it's better for you professionally, by all means use your maiden name (you can always use your married name socially and on documents.)</div><div>Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!  The Garter Brides</div><div>

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The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:ecc26e77-4baf-4a9d-bdb7-d7d17c316350">Re:Expert Qamp;A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In what order should forms be submitted to change your last name i.e. Social Security Card, Drivers License, bills, etc by order of importance?
Posted by dominodancer[/QUOTE]<div>Dear dominodancer,</div><div>Your list is correct!  We also suggest you change it on your passport if you have one...and then get your bank in order - new signature card - and from there take care of insurances, mortgage, credit cards etc....</div><div>Congrtaulations!  The Garter Brides

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The Garter Brides

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_expert-qa-and-sweeps-changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:9ca26c3a-f9dc-4e4a-b423-969fab9c4a53Post:aa458561-10c2-475c-8bcc-76bd67453f4a">Re: Expert Q&A and Sweeps: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]We are going on honeymoon shortly after our wedding. If I change my last name, do I have time to do so before we leave and have no problems with passport, drivers license, etc matching, or is it better to just wait until we get home?
Posted by sclarissa[/QUOTE]<div>Dear sclarissa,</div><div>You should wait till you get home from your wonderful honeymoon!  You need your marriage certificate to start the process - when you're back chance your social security card, drivers license and passport and then move on to credit cards, banks, insurances etc.</div><div>Congratulations!</div><div>The Garter Brides

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