Moving in with fiancee in 12days and starting to need advice.

HisGirlOnly

He is my life. We have a beautiful daughter together. However  he has been behaving strange lately and not answering his calls or clearing his voice mail up the way he used to. They got snow supposedly today and its been hectic. He does a lot of volunteer work in his free time. So he has been shoveling and left his phone in the house. Well last night he had to also assist someone and told me he would call and never called. I wont say I didn't call him because I did like any normal bride would have. Tonight I asked him on the phone if he truly loved me and he gave me some story that if he didn't when we had sensual time together he wouldn't allow me to do something. What does that have to do with love??? Also he said logically I am not there yet so if  we wanted to hang with our friends it was okay. Of course I am thinking he isn't telling me something and I do not know if I should come out and say hun are you seeing someone behind my back until I am there or what? I am so confused and have been packing all week. It is such a long trip and I just need some advice on these issues. trust is there but I am questioning things. What do you all think I should do? He is 40 I am 46. This will be both of our 3rd and final marriage.

Kristin789

I would put the breaks on the moving-in, and go out there to see him by yourself - not with daughter.

Find out what's up with him.

If he wants to hang out with friends and assist other people instead of attending to his relationship with you, then he needs to do that instead of having a live-in fiance and daughter and the expectation of a mature relationship and marriage.  When a man marries, he gives up stuff he did as a child and as a prowling bachelor.  But sounds like your guy isn't ready for all that...

HisGirlOnly

I know he was until like the last week or so. Maybe he is getting cold feet? He is 40 years old and I am 46. Our daughter is 9yo.

Lisa50

You are likely already considering the possibility ... I think you should stay where you are; it is not time to move in (or get married).  Get some air and space between the two of you. If you can deal with it, you may want to think about structuring a visitation schedule for your daughter that makes it easy for the two of them to see one another without you in the mix.

I'm sure all of this is overwhelming.  I know it is not easy.  I wish you the very best.  (((HUGS)))

coralee715

I am also confused.  You live in NH and he lives where?  How often do you see him? How often does he see his daughter?  How long have you been together?

I can't offer any suggestions yet. 

ski2play

Hisgirlonly, please come back.  You sound confused about what your next steps should be and based on your post, it is hard to provide feedback.