40-Plus Brides

Intro - maybe second one? Post-wedding discussion?

Hello - I might have introduced myself here earlier, long before I got married, but I wanted to do so again, since I see there are many NWR topics here that are very pertinent to me!

My name is Linda, and my husband and I got married in October. I'm 49 (50 in May) and my husband just turned 54 in January. It's a second marriage for both of us. I'm a psychologist and he's a retired lawyer. He has one 16-year-old son, whom he has partial custody of, so he spends about 60% of his time wiht me and about 40% of his time with his son, about three hours away. That's probably the toughest thing we have to struggle with...having two households, sometimes being set in our ways at each location, being separated is tough, especially since it took us so long to find each other! In addition, his son's mother is quite a nightmare.

So I just wondered if there were lots of discussions by gals whose weddings are already over and some of the challenges of being a second bride, an older bride, especially if, like me, you were single for many years before you met your husband?

Also, I've been post-menopausal now for a couple of years (confirmed by that FSH thing) but have just recently started having some odd symptoms - especially lots and lots of fatigue. Never been so tired in my life - two years ago I was working out every day, now it seems like all I can do to drag myself through the day at work. My doctor mentioned HRT but I'm very wary of it, so for right now I'm trying some dietary changes and Vitamin D. Weight gain is not a happy thing either, but I'm well within my normal BMI; I just don't like my weight.

LOL, well, that's a lot for an intro! So that's me, and I'd love to know about you, too.

Linda
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Re: Intro - maybe second one? Post-wedding discussion?

  • Hi and welcome! 

    This is my first marriage.  I am 44.  My FH is 50 and this will be his second marriage.  Getting married at this age is never what I thought would happen for me.  I always thought I would marry in my 20s.  It was hard seeing everyone around me marrying in their 20s and 30s (some more than once) but I realize now that getting married now is  not a bad thing.  I know myself well and the fact that I am my FH have known each other for so long and have made it through many ups and downs has made us a very stable couple.  I think in our friendship/dating that we have stayed together longer than the married couples we know and lasted longer than the divorced couples we know. 

    I know that there have been quite a few threads on getting married over 40, second marriages, blending families, etc. on this board.  I love the advice here because we are all coming from a place of knowledge that a lot of the younger folk on TK for some subjects think they know and understand but don't really.

    I've no premenopause symptoms yet.  I probably won't for some years to come.  My Mom and Grandma did go premen until quite late.  I do hope that your symptons calm down soon and your body normalizes. 



    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



  • Welcome and thank you for posting this thread. I haven't had time to read through and try to get to know, ie by posts, any of the brides yet and this helps. 

    I am 43 and FI is 51. It is a second marriage for both of us. We have 7, "yes 7" kids between us, the youngest is 14 the oldest 26.  Our exs hate us but we never ment to fall in Love and both of us had been on our own for almost a year when we met so they will just have to get over it. We are finding out that we are not the only members of our family who want to marry. We had a big wedding for my 19 yr old in Jan. and his son has just annouced that he will marry next year. I have a feeling that based on our childrens ages this may be a trend. We felt my daughter was a little young but her hubby is off to basic training in Georgia and then they will move away so we knew we would not be able to stop them. Anyway Wedding central here. We have also learned that FI will be a grandfather again this year.  Trying to embrace all that comes with a blended family. 

    As far as hormones and Peri/Post Menopause. Well we are dealing with that right now. I am still like clockwork but just awful to deal with about 5 days out of the month right before my period. I mean physco! This just started about 6 months ago so not sure what is going on but all of the women in my family have gone through menopause early so not surprised. Have an MD appt. Thursday. Poor FI he is always looking at the calendar. LOL I'm just glad he is already in love with me because not so sure he would handle if he wasn't. I don't really want to do HRT so looking at natural remedies. Would love to hear if anything works on your end. 

    I do have to say it is so much nicer being an older bride and knowing more of what you want and working together. My daughters FI was wonderful but planning a wedding is stressful and sometimes its nice to just let go and go with the flow. 


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