1st RSVP Problem

J&KgRiFF

Well I got my first RSVP that was address to just Mr. Cliff B and he checks graciously accepts then next to how how many will attend he put 2 and then in parenthesis ( Me + 1). I just laughed. We have decided all of our friends will not be bringing dates unless they are engaged married or we are both friends the guy and girl . Jeff has alot of guys from his football team coming and we have lots of friends in town so it would be impossible if everyone brought a friend we would have over 250 guests. So I'm sure I will have many of these problems in the future but I had to do my first message to him on facebook saying sorry noone is bringing dates. he hasn't responded to me but I guess people dont understand how to read an invitation and who its addressed to. I think this will probably make me go crazy by the end of it.

katiek200

I think a lot of single people think they are naturally allowed to bring a date, so if you explain the problem hopefully he will be fine with it! I haven't had this happen yet, but we havent gotten many RSVPs back so I'm sure its just a matter of time!

MrsHoward11

ug oh! We've already designed our RSVP cards and on it says "No guests semi formal"Gotta be specific. Have you sent them all out yet? can you email a lot of people? you may just have to tell as many people as possible. We figured that we'll probably send them out 5 months out right? If we don't know them well enough by that time to include their names on the invitation then they don't need to be there.

jodippls

Fun times! I know exactly how you feel.

brittjoy84

I already have people asking if they can bring guests and I haven't even sent out the damn invites yet!

katiek200

Mrs Howard, 5 months out is too early to send invites. You already have your RSVP cards done 2 years before your wedding? How organized!!

brittjoy84

MrsHoward, holy crap why are you doing all this stuff now?

MrsHoward11

Why wait till then? I'm a planner and very possibly too organized when it comes to planning parties! THing is that every time I throw a huge party, I start plannign extra early and then I can relax the day of cause everything is done. Plus my bff is pregnant and we're planning her baby shower, Wedding, and plus our other friends baby shower. I'd like to have the little stuff planned. save me needless stress when their stuff is done. I take forever to make up my mind but once i do it's set. I know some things may change but i don't think much will change. I wasn't sure on the time line. I thought that was prob a little too early.

toblave13

Ugh...very frustrating. I'm love that you contacted him immediately and didn't avoid it.

J&KgRiFF

yes then one of my best friends and bridesmaid is trying to get me to let her bring her boyfriend once again. I despise this kid he is miserable person and my FI is acquaintances with him but honestly she knows noone is bringing dates let alone why would i want to share my wedding day with this kid. But that all aside im over capacity of the room already there is no room for him to come. she doesnt understand it. I was like good grief its going to be a long 3 months.

NYHarleyBride

One way to possibly avoid this (for others in the future) is to actually fill out the names of the invitees on the RSVP card. This is what we did, and only had one request for a +1.Yes, five months is definitely too early. Many people will put it aside with intentions to reply later, and forget. Six to eight weeks is appropriate, maybe a week or two sooner or later depending on your situation.

brittjoy84

J&K, I don't know your friends exact situation, but it is appropriate to invite people that are in committed relationships, even if they are not engaged. If they are a social unit, they get invited together. MrsHoward, Just curious do you already have your venues picked out too?

katiek200

Britt I would agree. I know space is a huge issue for you J&K, but I would be upset if I was a bridesmaid and could not bring my boyfriend.

J&KgRiFF

if they were serious i would contemplate it but they prolly would not even be together by the time of the wedding and we dont even look at each other when we see each other me and this boy. He is abusive and my friend is an idiot and he would make a scene at the wedding if she walks down the aisle touching another guy. he is a psycho. I would probably punch him if he ruined my wedding so there is no way he is coming. he would definitely cause an issue as he does every time we are out in a public setting. so even though they are dating again im putting my foot down.

brittjoy84

I totally understand where you are coming from, it sounds like the guy is a major tool. As the rule stands though, he should have been invited and your friend has a right to be annoyed. I hope it won't cause any problems in your friendship.

katiek200

Yeah those are sticky situations.

MrsHoward11

Our only exception is our wedding party. OUr wedding party will be allowed to bring guests but no one else will.