Yes

Kesha33

Moving on

jagore08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-north-florida_helpno-drama-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:70Discussion:a333ab50-e1e9-4e80-9d1b-aec4a8c3bf72Post:b200fa19-b369-47e8-bae8-3820a76d6a7a">Help..no drama please</a>:
[QUOTE]This is long, but I need advice (Please).       I have 4 bridesmaids and I maid of honor. Everyone has been involved helping, making suggestions, or just lending an ear. I have one bridesmaid that seems like she doesn’t care. It hurts my feelings at times. She purchased her dress but anything over that she doesn’t want to be bothered. Example the bridal show came to Jacksonville, everyone was there but her. Shopping for the bridesmaid dresses, everyone was there but her. Deciding on colors for flowers to carry, not her.      So I asked her when she was going to get her dress and all she said was soon. I get a call from David’s Bridal saying I can come pick it up..??? I didn’t know she already went. What if I had changed my mind on the dress? Second I called her and said I have to go pick up the other girls dresses, I will grab yours too. Her reply was why did they call you and no I will get my own dress?? What difference does it make? I am the bride, do you think I will let anything happen to those dresses.      So we change wedding venues, she doesn’t know this because she doesn’t ask any questions. I sent her a text stating all the dates and times we need to do things, such as bridal shower given by my mom, bacherlotte party given by my sister, rehearsal time and dinner, and then time of wedding all I get is ok (in a text) I am not asking anyone to pay for anything. I’m like wow.      When I ask her if she is ok, all she says is I have a lot going on in my life. She is going through a divorce, but this divorce has been going on for 2 years because she and her husband would stop it and get back together and then start it back. I have been that friend that feels bad and asking what can I do. Cried tears with her and I even have recently asked her is she ok, do you want to talk about it. Her reply I’m good, just got to deal with some things. Either you want to be in the wedding or you don’t? This is my happy time. I would respect you more right now if you say, Kesha I am flattered but I have so much going on in my life it wouldn’t be fair for me to be in your wedding than you blow me off like my wedding doesn’t matter.       My mom says to give her until the end of the month before saying anything but I am a little pissed off…why accept when you know you are not in your happy place right now… What should I do…Am I being unreasonable… I need people happy around me that day…. My fiancé says cut her, he doesn’t want the drama but we have been friends for over 10 years.. I just don’t know what to do…
Posted by Kesha33[/QUOTE]

ekutlus

No drama, but I really feel like you are being unreasonable. Going through a divorce is very draining (been there, divorced 4 years and it still is a problem), but she is trying to be there for you. It sounds to me that she doesn't want to bring you down with her problems because the beginning of one marriage is no time to bring up the ending of another.

I have friends I can't talk to anymore because all they do is complain, but your BM seems like she is trying to keep that seperate from you. I think you should let her do her greiving and just be there for you. She will be happy for you on your day.

jagore08

1. I understand that you want everyone to be happy and express their excitement for your wedding but she is going through a divorce.  No matter how long it's been going on it's got to be tough on her.  I would give her some slack.  No everyone is going to be jumping for joy over your wedding no matter how good of friends they are to you.

2. Your friend may not be talking to you as much as you'd like because she is going through a divorce and probably doesn't want to rain on your parade.  If she wants to take a step back, let her but don't ask her to leave the WP.  I'm sure you don't want to be hearing about divorce when you're getting married so look at it like a blessing in disguise if she doesn't want to talk right now.  And this also goes with her asking questions about your wedding (it might be salt in the wounds for her right now) but she's your friend and wants to stand up for you.

3. The dresses, did she pay for hers or did you pay for them all?  If I paid for my BM dress I would want to pick it up myself and give it a once over and try it on before it left the store.  If her dress is the wrong size and you leave the store without her trying it on, there may be nothing she can do about it.  A lot of salons have the policy that when you leave with your dress then it's all on you.

4. Remember that your BP doesn't have to be at every pre-wedding event.  Yes, it's ideal that your girls are at your shower, and b-party but it is rally not required.  I know she didn't say that she's not going to them but I just wanted to give you a heads up just in case she throws this at you last minute.

Remember this, IF IT DOESN'T STOP ME AND MY FI FROM SAYING "I DO" THEN IT'S NOT WORTH STRESSING OVER.

janedoe1113a

First off, could everyone please stop posting in colors.  It makes it ridiculously hard to read.

Second, sorry, but no one cares about your wedding more than you.  All of those things you said she didn't come to or help with, is not things that are required of her.  If she wants to go, great!  But she's going through a divorce.  She's got a lot going on her life that is a lot more important than your wedding.

If you kick her out of your wedding, you're a horrible friend.

janedoe1113a

It's very immature to delete your post.  Plus, you were quoted, so everyone can still read it.

Kesha33

I did not delete the post to be immature. I deleted the post because I am moving on. I never said I was kicking her out... Horrible friend never me... I have been there...I called her, we are good.....so I wrote moving on cause I have.... Why do you feel the need to be rude... I was venting..and I am aware the post can still be read..I'm in a good place... I hope you have a blessed night.

Dara Jeanne

Good for you Keesha!:)