Annoyed with RSVPs...

Marissa0717

Uuuugh! I just need to vent! Why do people think it is ok to bring a random date when the invite was addressed to JUST one person. I am on a budget people!!!

OK, I just had to get that off my chest! What did you ladies do? Any advice on how to nicely mention that the person you met last week at the bar isn't invited...? Or am I being a bridezilla?

LedZeppelin

I would be really irritated by that, too! I think you may just have to call them and politely explain that you simply cannot accomodate extra guests even though you would love to have them there if you could.

I have a feeling I'm going to have this problem with my aunt. Not to mention FMIL's friend's daughter who is now pregnant by some guy FI's family doesn't even know. Ugh.

Beckity

I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all.  It would be one thing if they had been dating for a long time and were a definite "pair"- but some random new person?  I don't think so!  Especially if you're on a budget- people have got to be respectful of that.

If I were you, I'd contact this person (or people) and explain that there is a very tight guest list and while you all would love to have him/her there, unfortunately you can not accomodate extra guests.  If there budget were not an issue, I'm sure you'd just pull up a few chairs and cheer 'The more the merrier!'- but that's just not a reality.

That's what I'd do.

sarahbutchin

Not a Bridezilla at all. I would honestly call and say that as much as you would love them to come, that your venue can only hold a certain amount of people, or something else along those lines. I don't understand the way that people act sometimes!

sboobear03

Yep. I had that happen too. I emailed people and politely told them I could not accommodate their +1.

kb5432

We're dealing with this too.  At this point, since we're just starting to get back RSVPs we are going to let these people know that we have a venue limit and if we get enough "no's" we would love to accommodate them but at this point we have to say no.  And we will actually let them know if space becomes available. 

lcarp203

At least you are getting responses, even if it is not the kind you want!  We are still waiting on 30 and the RSVP date is Friday!

Marissa0717

Thanks ladies! I feel so much better

jemmini6

Definitely not being a bridezilla.  I came to the realization that many people don't really understand how much money just ONE guest costs.  I would try to politely let them know that you just cannot accomodate their guest.

belgirl

Let me give a different take on this.  Wait till you get all the RSVP's in before saying anything...you may find you CAN accomodate the extra guests after all.  Its annoying, but this happened in our case and in fact, you can also probably count on people who RSVP'd not showing up because of different circumstances.  We had about 20 guests not show up for various reasons when it was all said and done, so the extra guests didn't matter. 

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_arizona-phoenix_annoyed-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:71Discussion:0117dddb-ebe5-4207-8a71-11a6c0e98f45Post:b301f503-6ab1-44f5-8058-a5ca689eab5e">Re: Annoyed with RSVPs...</a>:
[QUOTE]Let me give a different take on this.  Wait till you get all the RSVP's in before saying anything...you may find you CAN accomodate the extra guests after all.  Its annoying, but this happened in our case and in fact, you can also probably count on people who RSVP'd not showing up because of different circumstances.  We had about 20 guests not show up for various reasons when it was all said and done, so the extra guests didn't matter. 
Posted by belgirl[/QUOTE]


Budget-wise that would work, but you also don't want them to think all this time that they can bring their guest, then find out a week before the wedding they can't.  Also, I have an issue with the principle of the matter, it's rude to invite someone who wasn't on the invitation and I'd rather save the money all-together than to pay for someone I don't know.  But that's just me...

belgirl

Yeah, but at the same time, guests don't want to come by themselves.  I wouldn't.  In an ideal world, they should ask if they can bring a guest, but some people just don't know what is acceptable. They aren't being rude on purpose.  For example, growing up, all the weddings I attended were open invitiation Baptist weddings--so when I first received an invite for a non-church wedding with a sit down dinner, I honestly wasn't sure if I could bring a guest or not.  What seems obvious to the bride, isn't always that obvious unfortunately.  

LadyB64

I had a couple guests ask to bring a date.  My reply, "At this time we don't have room for guests, but if anything changes after the RSVP deadline I'll let you know!"

I've always thought that it's not a good idea to use the word "sorry" because it's not your fault. Saying sorry is like admitting you messed up, and you did not. It's their mistake. As long as you're the sweetest bride you can be, I have no doubt your guests will understand. They're just excited to spend the day with you and witness your marriage.