Arizona-Phoenix

Guest list

My FI and I are working on our guest list. I have a rather large faimly with a lot of kids. I am not the kid type person, and really would perfer only to have a few present at my wedding who are in it or I see on a monthly basis. Is it wrong for me to invite only some kids that are faimly or do I have to invite all of my cousins with their kids? Currently we have 46 adults 11 kids under 10 and 4 kids over 10. I dont think that the kids will be happy there and I know the adults wont beable to partake in a lot of fun things. They are from all over the us and our wedding is on a Thrusday a few weeks after school starts. I would be having the same thoughts even if it were not a destination wedding and they would still have to fly into where we live. HTH for backround TIA

Re: Guest list

  • edited December 2011
    Generally, with inviting kids, it's better to draw a defineable line and say no kids, or no kids except those in the wedding party, or something to that effect. When you start to include some and not others, you'll start to piss people off and make things harder on yourself. People will think you're playing favorites, and it's amazing how offended people get when you don't include their offspring. If you have another line you can draw, like only first cousins are invited (because of space or budget) or something like that, you'll have a better explanation when people ask, and they will ask. As far as having it on a Thursday with guests from all over the US, expect some a) not to come, b) not to come if they can't bring their kids or c) try to come up with a solution for those who are willing to travel with their uninvited kids (who will have to miss school). For example, either spring for a babysitter or have reliable recommendations available for them, and be willing to be a gracious hostesss and perhaps help to contact the babysitter(s).
  • sms274sms274 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We have a similar situation but it is my friends with small children and not really family. We have decided to state (in a more elegant way) the children under 13 are not allowed at the wedding unless they were immediate family (nieces and nephews). This way his 2 cousins who we see often can still come and there is a definitive line drawn that people can't argue against.If it works for you I would suggest something similar with the age limit, or as suggested above a different line that distinguishes the kids that you do want there. Although I will say that, also not a kid person, I would have preferred no children under 13, but my FI vetoed that for my nieces and nephews to be able to attend. I personally don't think small children need to be at a wedding - many young ones cant sit still and quiet long enough for a ceremony and the reception, if their is an open bar and your friends/family like to get crazy like mine do, really isn't a place for children. So I guess my point is, is it really important to you to have the few exceptions to attend?
  • NillaWafer10NillaWafer10 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think the babysitter idea is a really good option.  I would hire a few teenage girls from your church, school, neighborhood ect., and offer childcare for those kids you don't want at the wedding.  Buy a couple pizzas and rent a few movies.  You could even turn it into a themed party.  make sure the kids bring their own blankets and pillows.  People seem to get less offended when you have options.
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