No Kids

stephflores84

Hi everyone! We are getting married next November. Our venue is mainly lit by candles. Is it rude that I want to tell all our friends that have children NOT TO BRING THEM? We really, really don't want any kids running around. Please let me know what you guys think!

1104*Celsius

Is it rude to say it like that? Yep. 

Etiquette states that only those to whom the invite is addressed are invited, unfortunately not everyone is familiar with etiquette, and people may assume or ask, at which point you will need to let them know.

There are several different ways to approach this: word of mouth (moms, wedding party, if you are asked directly, etc.), saying "adult reception to follow" on the invite or reception card (though this is also considered a faux pas), or even listing the individual's names on your RSVP cards, which is what we did. That also eliminates confusion as to who is invited with a guest and who isn't, as well as those who may forget to fill out their card correctly, and it also comes in handy if you should have a meal choice.

You are entitled to have a child-free wedding if that's what you want, just be sensitive to the fact that this is a touchy subject for some people. Good luck!

FutureMrsL.R.Allen

I agree with Celsius.  If you say it in a nicer way, then yes, you can have a children free wedding.  It is up to you who you want at your wedding and for what reason.  But, with that being said, take into consideration who is attending.  I would LOVE to have an adult only wedding, but I also know that my cousins are traveling from across the country and there is no way they are going to do that with out their kids.  My option was that my cousins, who I am very close with, would not be able to come because there is no way they would leave their kids with babysitters for 3+ days, or I have kids at my wedding.  In the end I decided that it was more important for them to be there then to have an adult only reception.  But, if all of my guests with kids lived in town then I would have done an adult only reception becuase it would not have been such a burden on them to get a baby sitter for just one night.

1104*Celsius

PP makes an excellent point about OOT guests traveling to be at your wedding with (or without) their children.

I should also add that we DID have children at our wedding, but only the ones in the wedding party. DH & I paid for a babysitter so that after dinner, the 4 children (aged 5 months to 7 years old) went back to the hotel where everyone was staying and watched movies and crashed.

The moms & dads were then able to enjoy the rest of the reception child-free, and picked up sleeping children at the hotel (where they were already staying) afterwards. The parents appreciated this more than I can tell you. It's not something we had to do, but we did it because we wanted to. 

FutureMrsL.R.Allen

Celcius, I love that idea, and have thought about hiring a babysitter myself, but I have a question for you. . .did you get married at a hotel or another venue?  I am getting married at a venue with no hotel rooms, how should I go about getting the kids to a hotel room?  What did you do?

1104*Celsius

We had our reception at Stoudemire's Downtown, and the hotel block was at Marriott Springhill Suites Downtown, not even 5 minutes away.

We knew what time dinner would be served and finished, and set a time for the babysitter to be at the hotel, and the moms and dads (might have just been the moms) took their munchkins to the hotel to drop them off, and then came right back. We talked to them ahead of time to see how to make it most convenient, and this is what was decided, due to car seats and what have you. We had a shuttle that brought them back to the reception so that they could leave their cars, but if they REALLY wanted to, they could have walked.

They were gone maybe 15 minutes and then came back and partied. No joke, those two couples had a better time than ANYONE at the reception.

FutureMrsL.R.Allen

Ok, that would work, I will just talk to those brining kids.  I am pretty sure it will just be my two cousins since they are the out of towners with kids.  Did you use a baby sitting service?

1104*Celsius

No, we looked into that, but we actually went with a recommendation from one of our guests (a student), and she was fabulous.

stahlop

We put a note in the STD's that it was a 17 and older reception.  It may be rude, but then there was no question about kids.  The only child who will be there will be my FG.

chiwawa

I know it's considered rude, but I'm putting "No Children" in the wedding invitations.  I hate kids and don't want them anywhere near my wedding.  Anyone who knows me won't be offended, and anyone else can either get over it or not come.  Our wedding isn't until next April, which gives any out of town guests (or in town guests, for that matter) plenty of time to figure out what to do with their rugrats.  It's your wedding, so have it the way you want.