Rehearsal Dinner - VENT!!!

andreamarie77

ARGH!!!! I know, I know - not my place to plan the rehearsal dinner. Totally up to my FI and his family. But OMG, I ask one question, and I'm already having a panic attack. I'm super organized, the wedding isn't until March and I've got pretty much most things planned and done already. Anything left is minor.

I asked him what he wanted to do for the dinner, how many people he wanted to invite, etc. and I get "eh, whatever" in response. So I said what about someplace like Buca di Beppo - it can hold a lot of people and no room fee, has a decent menu... he said, no he wants it at Spinato's. Okay, fine. It's his favorite pizza place, we can meet with them, figure out a menu, whatever. So then I said well you'll have to call and get something figured out for food, reservations, etc once we know how many people. His answer? Nah, I'll just give them a heads up a week or so before.  WHAT??!!??!!  Seriously. This is when I had a fit and he couldn't understand why.  Especially when he intends to invite not only our wedding party, but all our OOT guests as well so they have something to do the night before.  That could end up being between 50 and 75 people. And you want to "give them a heads up" the week before??

As I said, ARGH.

AllyG303

What if you get them to cater and you can have the dinner at a park or one of your parents' houses?  That way the restaurant doesn't have to accomodate that many people and it could be something more laid back and less stressful. 

And also, it isn't wrong for you to plan it unless FI's parents have offered to host it completely.  My future ILs haven't given any indication of wanting to put on a rehearsal dinner, so yours truly is planning that as well. 

dramaz

Can you not have a rational conversation with him about this or get involved with planning it yourself? Are you and FI paying or his parents?

jemmini6

Um, my wedding is in less than 2 months and we haven't hammered out all the details of our RD.  Also, unless his parents offered to pay for the RD, it is in fact your responsibility to plan (and pay) for it yourself.

andreamarie77

His parents are paying for the whole thing. So that's why I didn't want to interfere. And yes, I could probably try to have a rational conversation with him, if he wasn't so intent on the whole "I know more about the restaurant business than you do" thing - except that when I try to ask him about this, he insists that you don't have to schedule anything or plan anything. So yeah, I'm frustrated.  And his parents don't live here - they're not planning, just paying. 

So to save my sanity - and his pretty face - maybe I'll just wait until we get the RSVP's back and then tell him this is how many we have, you need to call. Now. No waiting. In a perfectly calm, rational, loving voice of course!