How did you handle old relatives who need help/want to leave early?

gottadance64

My bf would like to have his 90 year old grandma at the wedding and reception. She is like a second mother to him. We know that she will have to be picked up by someone and looked after (she has some walking issues) and she'll get tired and want to leave early. We don't want my bf's parents to have to leave early because of her, but our wedding and reception will be about an hour away from where she and his parents live. Generally we know old people aren't comfortable staying over night away from home, so a hotel is out.

Has anyone dealt with this?

KatWAG

I would suggest hiring a town car so that no one has to leave early. And a cab wouldn probably cost just has much if its an hour away. I wouldnt do this for just anyone but since its family, I would go the extra mile.

MobKaz

Have you spoken with Grandma directly?  Our 85 year old Grandma resisted our attempts to help her leave early.  She did not want to miss a thing.  She also did not want to "be a burden" to anyone.  Although she pretty much remained seated at her table the entire evening, she very much enjoyed watching the bride and groom, and all the other reception festivities.  She lasted until midnight (it was a NYE wedding).

If her staying past dinner is absolutely out of the question, I would offer the following suggestions.....
~is anyone else staying at a nearby hotel.  If she is mentally alert and stable, she may prefer that to a long car ride home with a stranger.
~is there a neighbor and/or friend that could attend the wedding with her with the understanding that this person would leave with grandma after dinner?  I would think it would be easier to find an extra seat at the reception rather than pay for the transportation home.  I think Grandma would prefer that over a long cab ride, and I would prefer it as well (as the relative).

gottadance64

Not sure how a towncar would help? 

hz80408

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_how-did-you-handle-old-relatives-who-need-helpwant-to-leave-early?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:72Discussion:0606c9a9-f837-494d-847f-7817af99ddcePost:b29ca167-6866-4da7-b818-ca72770a80f7">Re: How did you handle old relatives who need help/want to leave early?</a>:
[QUOTE]Not sure how a towncar would help? 
Posted by gottadance64[/QUOTE]

I'm thinking pp meant the town car could drive her home and help her get into her home? I think that's a good idea; if gma is interested

snn07102011

i am thinking about a town car for my grandpa who doesnt even want to come to the reception!! but i am making him bc i dont think its fair for my grandma to be introduced by her self and not have her man there   my grandpa is just vein and doesnt want everyone to see him as being "old"  hes freaking 79, and you would never think he was a day over 65!! hes silly

KatWAG

Yes hire a town car to take gma home. they are more professional than cabs drives. and the cars are more comfortable to sit in. You can explain to the town car company that the driver would need to help her to the door. (like if she would need help walking up the front steps) The driver would most likely be more accomodating with a can or a walker.

MrsMLRB

If there is a reason why you want a person there, you could see about getting a nurse from a temp agency or something to ride with her and get her into the house. If she lives in assisted living, they might have someone you can pay to go with her.

I would also ask her what her plans are before making plans. My 78 year old Grandma and H's 92 year old Grandma both stayed through the whole reception.

gottadance64

Thanks - I suggested these ideas to BF and he says he wants a relative to do this - so I'm leaving it up to him, it's his grandma.