I belong to a very small, very conservative Lutheran church. I am no longer actively practicing this faith, as I have some issues with the beliefs (I have not officially left this church, as I don't have the heart to tell my mother). My FI was raised catholic but is not practicing. My parents are very active in our church and would like for us to have a pastor from the church perform our ceremony. I have met this pastor only a few times (we live in KS and our families live in Chicago), and am not comfortable asking him or really anyone from that church to perform our ceremony. They are a very--- "HEY, WE'RE RELIGIOUS! LET ME SHOVE DOWN YOUR THROAT!" type church. FI and I are looking for someone to give us a spiritual but not necessarily religious ceremony. I am certain that this will crush my mother and I'm not sure I want to deal with all the drama right before the wedding. My mom is my best friend and I don't want to hurt her feelings but I/we are not comfortable having a ceremony the way they do their ceremonies. Also, they are contributing a lot monetarily (more than they can afford, I'm sure) to the wedding and I feel like we need to do something their way. I don't want to sacrifice our happiness for my parents or vice versa...I just don't know what to do!
Has anyone else had to deal with this situation before?? How did you deal with it??
Sorry that was long winded and not sure it made any sense!! Thank you!!!