My BM QUIT! :(

knot-a-bridezilla

i have a bit more than 5.5 months left until the wedding and one of my bridesmaids just quit <heart sinking...sigh>. Her reason is that her heart really isn't in it so she feels guilty standing. What can I do but to understand and accept her decision :(Now the question is what do i do? ask another friend? if i do, won't that person feel offended that i didn't ask her in the first place but now that i need someone to fill the spot, i'm asking?  or should we keep the uneven number of 4 bms and 5 gms? or should i ask my brother to be an aisle runner and walk my mom down the aisle instead of standing as a gm ( i know he wants to stand, plus we already asked him to)? any advice?

kthame

Wait a second, your girlfriend backed out of standing up in your wedding because her heart isn't in it? Is that REALLY what she said? Now, I understand if she has some serious personal things going on right now, but I couldn't understand if she doesn't. I am sorry this is happening to you. Is she still going to come tot he wedding? You could always do an uneven number of GM and BMs; apparently that's common now-a-days. It may be pushing it to ask someone this late in the game (ordering dresses, awkward feelings, as you expressed). I wouldn't demote your brother, just leave it as is...it won't change anything in your wedding. I'm sorry this happened!

Maura81

I had an uneven # and it worked out and looked just fine.  One GM escorted 2 BMs.  It actually looked kinda cool

January Bride

I am really sorry that your friend did this to you. I would keep the wedding party the same.  We had an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen (we had an extra guy) and it worked out fine.  Our best man was supposed to just wait up there with my husband, but I think he misunderstood and walked down the aisle by himself.  Whatever, it worked out fine. :)After the wedding, the last two groomsmen jointly escorted the last bridesmaid down the aisle, so she had one guy on each arm.  It worked out fine! Good luck with your decision!

ennaerb80

Leave it the way it is, uneven.  Asking you brother who is a GM to be changed to another duty would his feelings, I'm sure.  I don't think I've ever heard that excuse before.  What does that mean?  She's not excited for you to get married?  She thinkgs you're choosing the wrong person?  I'm confused.

ennaerb80

* hurt his feelings.

TheMorrisseys

I'm sorry, that was a pretty heartless thing to say. You don't need someone like that in your life-long memory, anyways...just think of it that way. I would also keep it as is with the uneven sides.

Bubbala

I agree, just leave it as it is.  We are also having an uneven number, and I am not worried about it, I have seen this happening a lot more often lately.  I am really sorry that she backed out, though; I hope nothing too bad is going on in her life, but if it isn't, that just isn't being a good friend...

krisdi78

Like all pp have stated - leave it as is - uneven is fine.  We had one more BM than GM because DH's husband was deployed two days before the wedding and BM just walked down first by herself (we gave her the option of walking by herself or having one guy escort her with another BM).  I personally would be offended not to have been asked and gotten a chance to participate in a wedding from the beginning and then just getting asked so the numbers were even.

enteringparadise

Don't fill in her spot with a replacement. Nobody wants to be a replacement. Have two guys walk one girl down the aisle. Thank her for being honest. Some people I would imagine accept the job of a bridesmaid out of guilt and are not fully into it. I wouldn't want someone to fake that they love being a bridesmaid. I have a very good friend who I love to pieces but would never select as my bridesmaid because she would feel out of place standing up in a dress and planning parties.

Litgirl77

If it makes you feel any better, I've got an uneven party (4 BM, 5 GM) because FI and I each have 2 brothers/no sisters and we wanted them all in. I didn't want to ask a 5th girl, just for the sake of being even.  So I just think of it as another way our wedding is unique!Good luck with everything - I hope there are no more "surprises" like this for you!

Danaz1

i had an uneven number as well. I have 2 sisters and didn't want to involve friends. He has no siblings and had 4 gm They all walked down by themselves and it was great.

teamL09

One of my BM's quit on me b/c she's having a baby right around then and lives on the east coast. So now I have 5 BM's, and 6 GM's, and I'm just keeping it that way. Uneven is not a big deal; better to have everyone up there really deserve to be than just spot-fillers to be even, I feel. Good luck!

chicagoamber

We have 6 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. It really is OK to have an uneven amount