Vent-Long

colleenm18

Ok so I am having some slight sister drama.

I am not sure if you all remember but SisterA did the following over the last year
-Said yes to being MOH then decided to just be a BM
-Then decided to not be a BM
-Then decided she wasnt coming to the wedding and booked her vacation for that same week.  (she didnt attend sisterB's wedding 7 years ago so I took this very serious)
-Didnt come to engagement party last year
-Didnt come to my bridal Shower


Ok so since May she has had a sudden change of heart and has been making an effort to fix our relationship which I am super grateful for!  She even came to my bachelorette party last week
But because she is not in a relationship and because she wasn't coming to the wedding I did not invite her with a guest.  She now wants to bring her best girlfriend who I do not really like and FI hate.  I told her I wanted to wait until all the RSVP came in and she had a fit.  Well they are due on Sunday so she just asked again.  What do I do?  I really don't want this girl to come but I wouldn't mind if she brought an actual date.  BUT if I tell her this I know she will have a flip out. 

Sorry I just really needed to vent

mbody

I'd just let her bring her friend so she doesn't throw a tantrum. I know that's sort of giving in to her, but I'd rather just keep the peace. No sense in getting everyone all riled up at this point. 

colleenm18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0c31921-61ee-4524-991c-a3f8cfecfbcfPost:204c2c5e-854e-477e-a92e-194b23c7ab1c">Re: Vent-Long</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd just let her bring her friend so she doesn't throw a tantrum. I know that's sort of giving in to her, but I'd rather just keep the peace. No sense in getting everyone all riled up at this point. 
Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]


Totally understand BUT this is the person in your life that always finds a way to get her way it you just get so frustrated and annoyed by it.  Its such a hard situation I just need to talk it over with my mom she always knows what to do :) hahah

BeachLover2885

I think you should tell your sister you don't have room for her friend to come. If you and FI both don't like this girl, I don't think you should have to put up with her at your wedding. It's your day, and I'm sure your sister knows enough people at the wedding that she will be fine. HTH!

k8888

Your sister sounds like she needs a pill.

If it were me (I can only speak for me, obvi) but I would tell her, she was invited without a guest because she made it clear she wanted no part of your wedding.  She can't keep changing her mind and expect everyone to bend to her will.  No guest means no guest.  Too late.  Feel free to flip out, sister, here's a tissue.

KatieK501

What's greater:  your desire to keep a good relationship with your sister that it sounds like you haven't had in the past or your hatred of this friend?

Personally, I'd let her bring her guest and, while being polite, just try to ignore her.  With 177 people at your wedding, you could probably get by with just thanking her for being there and not having to say much else to her.

mbody

Yeah, I don't know the dynamic of the relationship, but I'd maybe just start putting your foot down after the wedding? If at the very least, so you don't stress yourself out over the situation. More often than not, I'm a people pleaser and just don't want anyone upset with me so that's where my advice is coming from. 

michelle11988

I'm in the camp of I'm too stressed to deal with mini-fights at this point and would just let her bring the friend.  If it will keep her happy-ish then it probably isn't worth getting into a massive fight over.  If you are still on the fence about it just say that you are waiting to get responses in as you did not invite her with a guest so you'll have to see if you have room for one.

KatieK501

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0c31921-61ee-4524-991c-a3f8cfecfbcfPost:b6aa11f1-5922-4369-a13d-b0a8f2e805da">Re: Vent-Long</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent-Long : Totally understand BUT t<strong>his is the person in your life that always finds a way to get her way it you just get so frustrated and annoyed by it.</strong>  Its such a hard situation I just need to talk it over with my mom she always knows what to do :) hahah
Posted by colleenm18[/QUOTE]

So it's a little more than just not liking the friend.  I'll add this to my previous post:  I know this is already causing you a little stress, but if you bring this up to your sister, it will only cause more.  IMO, I don't think the wedding is the time or place to bring the feelings you've been harboring up to her. 

colleenm18

Thanks for all the advice ladies.  I am torn between telling her to shove it and just dealing and being nice

We will see!!

bells24412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0c31921-61ee-4524-991c-a3f8cfecfbcfPost:3adbe5db-0002-4d76-b996-73f86b34a1ff">Re: Vent-Long</a>:
[QUOTE]Your sister sounds like she needs a pill. If it were me (I can only speak for me, obvi) but I would tell her, she was invited without a guest because she made it clear she wanted no part of your wedding.  She can't keep changing her mind and expect everyone to bend to her will.  No guest means no guest.  Too late.  Feel free to flip out, sister, here's a tissue.
Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

bridetobe71412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0c31921-61ee-4524-991c-a3f8cfecfbcfPost:0f517189-adca-43b3-b331-b1ed8a50c772">Re: Vent-Long</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'm in the camp of I'm too stressed to deal with mini-fights at this point and would just let her bring the friend.</strong>  If it will keep her happy-ish then it probably isn't worth getting into a massive fight over.  If you are still on the fence about it just say that you are waiting to get responses in as you did not invite her with a guest so you'll have to see if you have room for one.
Posted by michelle11988[/QUOTE]

Me too. I agree with everything michelle said.

honeybear072012

I think you could get away with saying no guest and telling her it's because you're too close to your venue max.  She doesn't know anything about your wedding and you have very few no's so I'm assuming this is possible.

I used that excuse not to invite some people that are FI's friends but I hate!

ceglare4

Ditto Michelle.

pillsburyaj

Ugh, I can totally relate Colleen. My sister has been the most apathetic and uninvolved MOH ever -- it totally hurts my feelings. I mean, can't you just act happy for me for, like, a couple of months? She also has been working hard to "make it up to me" recently.

I say, let your sister bring her friend to the wedding. I am like mbody though in the sense that I am a people pleaser, so I would likely just suck it up and let her come.   But honestly, you probably won't even notice she is there that day. I hope it all works out for you.

k8888

Me and bells are the stone-cold b*tches of the board

BmoreBride311

I agree with Mbody. Just let in this guest to keep the peace, but then perhaps have a more serious discussion with your sis after the wedding. Even though you don't like the friend she wants to invite, you will most likely have VERY limited interaction with her at the wedding, so it shouldn't be a big deal.

colleenm18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0c31921-61ee-4524-991c-a3f8cfecfbcfPost:fa68330f-14b1-4292-8002-6e2da02d10ef">Re: Vent-Long</a>:
[QUOTE]Me and bells are the stone-cold b*tches of the board
Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

This is also my normal reaction!  And my FI is so above and beyond annoyed.  He hates my sister for what she has done to me over the past year and he is VERY animate about her friend not coming.  Maybe if I tell her she can bring a date I would just prefer it not be her friend?  hmmmm I hate this stupid Drama!

MeaganR12

ugh that sucks, I'm sorry you're dealing with this from your sister. I would probably just keep the peace and let her bring her friend. But I really don't like confrontation. 

Nati05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f0c31921-61ee-4524-991c-a3f8cfecfbcfPost:e1744fbf-ba0a-417b-b887-5f823b848b79">Re: Vent-Long</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you could get away with saying no guest and telling her it's because you're too close to your venue max.  She doesn't know anything about your wedding and you have very few no's so I'm assuming this is possible. I used that excuse not to invite some people that are FI's friends but I hate!
Posted by honeybear072012[/QUOTE]

TBH I'd probably do this first hahaha. Your RSVPs are coming in and you told her you'd have to see. You've set it up perfectly already! Tell her in the nicest way that you're close to your max and a guest will no longer be possible. But you're so glad she can make it!

Either that or suck it up and let her bring her friend. The truth is you'll only have to see this friend like what, twice during the night? :)

littlemoments324

Girl, just tell her to shove it....she needs to grow up....don't give in...like you said, it's all about her and getting her way...it is your day and you want to be surrounded by people who LOVE YOU and CARE ABOUT YOU! and the other way around...we didn't invite people we didn't like even if it meant someone not bringing a date....I know...cold hearted people sheesh!! hahaha...

Balls....