RANT - RSVPs

lawhited

So here I am, 18 days from the wedding and I am absolutely blown away by the lack of manners/common courtesy I'm seeing from some of our invited guets.  Not only have they not sent in their RSVP cards (they were due last week) but now they're not even returning my message when I asked them to please let me know either way. 

The part that is REALLY annoying is that two of them I had to facebook message (not very personal, I know, but it was my best option) and I know they've been on the site since so I know they've seen it - and they STILL can't respond?!?!?!  RUDE!

I've been so "sugar and spice and everything nice" so far with them but I really want to tell them how inconsiderate they are (I won't though, of course).  I know the best road to take is the high one.  I decided that I'm not going to contact them again - I think the self-addressed stamped envelope and the personal message(s) have been enough.  If I don't hear from them within the next couple of days I'm just going to assume that they aren't coming.  Seriously have made me re-think my relationships with these people...  grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Okay, rant over.    

Red Velvet

that really blows.  also, that is my biggest fear what will happen to me -- that i'll have to hunt people down!

if they don't decide or respond, make sure to send them a msg letting them know you've accounted them as no so they don't show up.  

Nonetheless, HOW RUDE of them. Seriously.

Golfer09

I definitely feel for you - you will always get people who feel that it's "no big deal".  They might assume that someone else is footing the bill or "what's the difference if one or two people decide to come or not come.  Until they truly understand how much a plate costs, then they might reconsider their lax attitude (sorry for sounding so harsh)!

For my wedding, I found the stragglers had no clue how important headcount was to us (we didn't have our reception at a banquet hall and had to bring EVERYTHING in down to the fork and glass - it wasn't like we could "conjure up" an extra chair or place setting if we didn't get our headcount right). 

My husband had to explain this situation to them and even afterwards they were still non-committal until the last possible date we had to provide our final headcounts and lock into our total. 

We even had party crashers and people asking if other people (friends, family in town) could come (the cons of having a NYE wedding).  It was just a strange situation to have people hanging out in the lounge area drinking and grabbing quick bites of food (we had a buffet) while the invited guests were seated for dinner in the main area.

Good luck and just take it with a grain of salt that there will always be people who are just clueless!

ee773

I sympathize as I am in the same situation right now with my wedding 19 days away.  I had to call one guest and act concerned, like perhaps she never received the invitation.  Of course she did and when put on the spot said that she was waiting to respond because there may be a conflict of another event that day and she was trying to get those details.  She should have told me that before the deadline just so I know where things stood.  Indeed, some people don't realize that there are details we need to take care of that are dependent on these rsvps (head count for caterer, seating arrangements, placecards, etc.)

sharonda1981

I am affraid of this situation. To try to avoid it I put a Note message on the reply card in bold stating that the reception is RSVP only and if you do not reply the space will then be considered for another guest. I will then follow up with a phone call after RSVPs are due for a reminder. I have hostesses that will be at the door of the repection checking he RSVP list, if someone is not on it, they will have to wait to the side to see if there is any extra seating availble. This might sound crazy but we have a limitted space. The place holds 200 guest and we have over 250 people we want to invite. So if some stragglers don't want to RSVP we will use that space for someone who will.

lawhited

Thanks for all of the support, ladies...  the people who I STILL haven't heard from have been politely informed that they have been marked down as a "no."

Now on to more fun things!! 

jessNlane52804

Unfortunately, people who have never planned a wedding or haven't planned one in a long time don't realize how important it is to respond. we had some people who would not reply to our follow-ups and we just marked them as not coming. Something else that helped us was to lie to everyone and say that the headcount was due a week before it was really due. At 18 days from our wedding, MIL was still trying to ADD people to the guest list! For every last minute no, she would request to add another guest. Good luck and it will all work out, even though it is extremely annoying right now.