please let me vent! i know you will understand...

gabrielyte

so our wedding isn't until July 21st and the invites haven't gone out yet.  we are planning a smaller wedding about 50-70 guests with 60 guest minimum for our reception hall.  we sen't out STDs before new year.  and now, within one weekend i had two of my friend call me and tell me they won't be able to make it because:  other weddings, other plans... neither mentioned finances being an issue, nor they have to travel out of town.  I told them it is OK and i understand, but i am i bit bummed...  Also, mos't of our overseas guests won't be able to come (which i understand) but it seems that at this rate we will have 40 people and have to pay for 60 (hope that's not the case).
Sorry, but i knew you would listen!

hmacsine

Your venue's policy sucks! Lol

brandeeteer

That's very frustrating. We share the same day and we had a few couples tell us that they won't be able to come before the invites went out last week. It bummed me out because they were people I really want there. I'm sure it will all work out for the best.

LADY324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_please-let-me-vent-i-know-you-will-understand?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f267f5f5-72b7-45c4-92f2-a330fc419839Post:2ae374be-f180-4eea-973b-8c22131cb1d1">Re:please let me vent! i know you will understand...</a>:
[QUOTE]Your venue's policy sucks! Lol
Posted by hmacsine[/QUOTE]

A lot of venues make you guarantee a certain number of people.  We have to guarantee 175 we are inviting 230 so I don't think that we will have any problem.  However if we were under 175 we would still have to pay 175.  Our room is very large so they would be losing out on money doing it for any less especially when they have a smaller room.

Check and see if you are under 60 if they will give you an upgrade on some food choices or something to help compensate the extra money that you will be paying.

butterflyjumper1

oh gosh, that totally stinks. I am sorry that so many people who are close to you won't be able to make it!

I know it is considered rude to have a "B" list (people you invite once other people can't make it), but perhaps you could invite more family members who you hadn't previously invited? or give everyone a date even if you hadn't previously? Or tell some parents they can bring their kids?  It would suck to have to pay for more guests than you are having!

Carla1019

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_please-let-me-vent-i-know-you-will-understand?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f267f5f5-72b7-45c4-92f2-a330fc419839Post:f77f0491-fc49-4dd7-b60e-d75cae5fac73">Re: please let me vent! i know you will understand...</a>:
[QUOTE]oh gosh, that totally stinks. I am sorry that so many people who are close to you won't be able to make it! <strong>I know it is considered rude to have a "B" list (people you invite once other people can't make it), </strong>but perhaps you could invite more family members who you hadn't previously invited? or give everyone a date even if you hadn't previously? Or tell some parents they can bring their kids?  It would suck to have to pay for more guests than you are having!
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

Since the invitations haven't gone out yet only your STD, I don't think it is considered B-listing yet. You can add more people.

timsflower81

That totally stinks, your venue has a minimum I guess and its better than not being able to have your wedding there.  A lot of places around here have 100 person max or a dollar amount - one place is 10K + or they wont even talk to you!  

I have a lot of weddings this summer as well and sometimes, even if you get someone's STD first, you have to prioritize.  For me, its family first... FI's cousin is getting married in a few weeks so we had go to that wedding as opposed to one of my friend's in another state on the same day.  

It will all be okay.  

butterflyjumper1

ohhh I agree with Carla - totally thought you said you invites had gone out. We actually ARE adding a fair amount (I think it will end up being about 8 people) to our guest list now, even though they did not get save the dates - hopefully none of their feelings will be hurt if they realize they didn't get a save the date, but oh well!  If that isn't an option, Lady has a great idea - ask if you can get upgrades, extra appetizers, etc. since there will be less people to serve.

But we also have to guarantee a certian number of people - however, our guarantee was based on our invite list (our original list was aroudn 230 so our guarantee is 180. now that we are inviting closer to 265 we will have absolutely no problem reaching our guarantee!)

gabrielyte

Thank you ladies!
after reading all of your posts i have a few more positive thoughts in my head!
maybe we will try to invite additional people to our wedding (as it is true that it wouldn't be B listing people, they would get invite at the same time as all people who receibed STD).  also, i think I just freaked out because now i am thinking that everyone will back out, which I am sure the 20 or 30 closest and dearest people in our lives will be there, so I guess I shouldn't worry too much. we would want to invite some of our co-workers but then there would be more issues that not everyone that we work closely with was invited, so i think we are better off staying away from this idea!
It is also a great idea to ask our venue whether they could give us something extra if we do not meet a minimum of 60 guests. 
THANK YOU ALL!

mekiakoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_please-let-me-vent-i-know-you-will-understand?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:f267f5f5-72b7-45c4-92f2-a330fc419839Post:64702abc-0464-4814-8a7d-6a88aa713368">Re:please let me vent! i know you will understand...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:please let me vent! i know you will understand... : A lot of venues make you guarantee a certain number of people.  We have to guarantee 175 we are inviting 230 so I don't think that we will have any problem.  However if we were under 175 we would still have to pay 175.  Our room is very large so they would be losing out on money doing it for any less especially when they have a smaller room. <strong>Check and see if you are under 60 if they will give you an upgrade on some food choices or something to help compensate the extra money that you will be paying.</strong>
Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

Check on this, this is a great idea.

hmacsine

In Response to Re:please let me vent! i know you will understand...:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:please let me vent! i know you will understand...:Your venue's policy sucks! LolPosted by hmacsineA lot of venues make you guarantee a certain number of people.nbsp; We have to guarantee 175 we are inviting 230 so I don't think that we will have any problem.nbsp; However if we were under 175 we would still have to pay 175.nbsp; Our room is very large so they would be losing out on money doing it for any less especially when they have a smaller room.Check and see if you are under 60 if they will give you an upgrade on some food choices or something to help compensate the extra money that you will be paying. Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

I didn't know this was normal. Food upgrades are a good compromise.

littlemoments324

Well, things happen We already know that at least 6 people will not be attending our wedding.  As long as the # isn't below 130 I'm fine with haha, because still have to pay for that amount

I would send people you wanted to but weren't originally going to!  I also would have sent invites to the international guests a few weeks ago.

The upgrade thing sounds AWESOME! i hope you're able to do that!