Illinois-Chicago

Church crisis

Ok so maybe I am overreactingsince I have just over a year and a half. But every church we have looked at has been giving us attitude about not being a parishoner. We have to be a parishoner for 6 months before we can set our date. My FI wants to take a chance on a church in Lemont but there is a chance that January is going to come and our date which is November 5, 2011 will be taken.

I thought that a church in Downers or a bit more North would have been perfect. I don't know what to do. Worse comes to worse I guess we can always book a chapel and hire a mininster. I just don't want to have to worry until January. What would you do???!!!

Re: Church crisis

  • barbbhowwbarbbhoww member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Not all churches require it.  Join one!  Find one you love and I'm sure your date will be available in 6 months.
    It's time. Adoption saving and process started in November 2012.
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  • lawhitedlawhited member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Not sure faith-wise if this would be a good fit, but I found our church through the United Church of Christ network.  Of all of the churches I contacted on my targeted list, not one of them required us to become parishoners.  We ended up finding a beautiful church in the city and they have been a breeze to work with!

    You can search for Church of Christ churches in your area here:
    http://www.ucc.org/find/

    HTH!  Good luck!

  • edited December 2011
    I grew up a member of the UCC and they are always very flexible with working with people of other faiths, whether they are parishoners of the church or not. I also recommend finding one near you and talking with the pastor. Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    My church does not require you to wait 6 months....are you catholic?
  • edited December 2011
    Yes, born and raised. But my parents moved out to the suburbs and I went away to school and never found a church.
  • morgie44morgie44 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Not sure where your reception will be, but St. Pat's in Joliet marry's nonparishoners and the priest there is really great!
  • edited December 2011
    Have you actually talked to the priest about their parishoner requirement or are you just basing that off what the website says?  The church we're getting married at says online that you need to be a parishoner for 6 months too but when I actually talked to the priest, he was willing to work with us.  Not sure all places will do that but it's worth a shot.

    Good luck - I was in your shoes a few months ago and know how frustrating it is. 
  • edited December 2011
    We are getting married at Immaculate Conception on the northwest side of the city...they do not require you to be parishoners.
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  • edited December 2011
    We ran into the same problem, but we kept calling.

    Make a list of the churches that would work for you and call until you find one that works for  you.
  • edited December 2011
    A lot of Catholic Churches here require it.  Heck, the Receptionist at the church I've been going to for 24 years AND I'm a cantor at, told me there was going to be an issue because I never registered.  Once I told her that my parents we still parishoners, it wasn't an issue anymore.  Do either of your parents belong to a church here? 

    Otherwise talk to the pastors, they typically have the ultimate say anyway and are usually much more willing to work with you.

    Hope this helps :-)
  • pajarito81pajarito81 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    FH and I are catholics and live in LA, but are getting married in CHicago. THere are a few churches in the city that do not require you to be parishoners, but you will have to pay a little more because of it. We are getting married at Notre Dame de Chicago Cathedral. Its beautiful!!!You can also check out Holy Name in the city, they are always booked early though. I've had a great experience so far with Notre Dame. LEt me know if you have any questions on them.
    Mrs. F 9-18-10
  • edited December 2011

    I am getting married at a church in Lemont - St. Patrick's in October. I know they do not have a problem with non-parishoners, however they do charge significantly more. Because I am a parishoner, it is $450 for the ceremony, whereas they told us that non-parishoner's would be required to pay $950.

    Funny thing about Catholic Churches is that they'll give you a lot of hassel for little things, but in my experience they always come through when you show them the money. For example, we are having a Sunday wedding (10/10/10) and the priest was very apprehensive about a Sunday wedding, which is understandable as they have noon mass AND a 5pm Sunday mass. I just said I would go else where for my ceremony if they could not accomodate me and it seemed as though the thought of loosing a wedding got them to accept.

    Like PP's said, just call around and have conversations with the PRIESTS! The office staff will probably tell you otherwise, as they did with my Sunday wedding. Good luck and congrats!

  • edited December 2011
    seriously... my FI fell in love with that church. we are going to check it out this weekend. great location since it is right by 55. i will make sure that we talk to a priest there. is there one there that you and your FI prefer???
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