Bringing up the topic of BM shoes

jessNlane52804

I am trying to arrange a trip for as many of my BMs as possible to go together to look at the preselected bridesmaid dress options. I am asking them to chose one of two dress options in the same color and fabric (black cotton sateen). I am trying to be very very sensitive with all things bridesmaid right now because there is a little bit of resistance right now with the dresses not being flattering. Anyways, since the wedding colors are black and green and the BM dresses are black and I am obsessed with matching colors, I would love for the ladies to wear green shoes. I am willing to purchase these shoes and have them dyed, I'm only asking that the shoes be worn for pictures and our 25 minute ceremony, and then they can be sold on ebay or thrown away or whatever. I know some people are in strong opposition of bridesmaids wearing the same shoes, but it is a detail that I love and 2/4 girls are already on board with the idea.

The issue: I don't talk to or see the other two ladies very often and I'm not sure how to bring up the idea of wearing matching shoes. I want to get their input on shoes when we go shopping for the dress. I am about to start the commmunication thread to find a time to go shopping, so should I mention it upfront that I want to look at shoes that I will purchase for them, or should I wait until we are at the store?

Dress in Bio: www.jess-lane2010.weebly.com
(I've tried every siggy link format I can find and none of them are working for me)

raeyn

I don't know what etiquette dictates, but I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your BMs you'd love for them to wear the same shoes, particularly since you're willing to pay for them and you're not expecting the girls to wear them all night long. I would definitely give them a heads up before you actually head to the store, though.

marilena

I don't see anything wrong with that, especially since you are willing to buy them. I would just say something like, "Please send me your shoe size. I found these adorable shoes I want to buy for you all. And feel free to bring something else to wear for the reception." I think you'll have adorable pictures

duckie1905

While I think its great that you are willing to pay for them shoes are a very personal thing.  Even if they only have to wear them for a little while shoes that don't fit right or aren't within the girls comfort zone can be painful (especially if they are standing during the ceremony).  As an example, one of my best friends cannot wear heels.  They hurt her feel and she tends to trip in them because she has weak ankles.  It really wouldn't have been my right to tell her what shoes to wear knowing that they would make her uncomfortable.

It sounds like some already don't like the dress (which may be a problem all its own) so asking that they wear shoes you pick out for them will more than likely only cause more friction.

JMO, not a good idea.