budget problems & local vendors that aren't $$$

ragdoll2

okay, so here's the deal....

my fi & i both wanted a small intimate wedding (like 50 ppl tops) however both of our mothers have lists of about 80 ppl each! We are kind of obligated to let them have their lists i suppose since my fi and i won't be able to pay for much of the wedding at all. my parents are, well, not well off... at all... and i really think they can only put together MAYBE 3k or 4k for the wedding... as for my fi's parents, they are probably the most well off ppl i know. now here's the tricky part, if they are only going to match my parents amount for the wedding that means our budget is only about 6000 or 8000.... for 160 ppl.... So far i am having the hardest time trying to find a way to make it work for that amount... every place i've tried will end up being over 12000 and that doesn't even include photography or anything!

does anyone have any advice on what i should do? should i see if my fi can get his parents to pitch in more?
is there any way to have a wedding & reception for under $6000?
what can i do to help cut the costs without cutting the guest list much at all? or am i going to have to face our parents and have them cut out some guests?

any advise on the subject would be TOTALLY appreciated!

are there any venues in the wheaton/glen ellyn - ish area that you know of that wouldn't be crazy expensive?

also any local vendors at all in that area would help a ton!

aimers1525

Here are some budget saving tips that are often recommended:
-don't use flowers for your centerpieces
-have a signature drink instead of an open bar
-don't have a large wedding party, it will cut down on expenses on flowers
-check out the wedding classifieds board or ask around about buying items from other Knotties/friends
-DIY your invitations
-check with photography/media college students who might offer to do photography for cheap
-sometimes a buffett cuts down on the price of food
-check venues for discounts if you have your reception on a Friday night or Sunday
-did you set your date yet? venues often have discounts for off-season weddings (Nov-March)

Venues to consider:
-a local VFW/American Legion hall
-park district facility
(check out the sticky at the top that has vendor recs for other venues)

If you have other questions, or more specific--feel free to ask--lots of girls on this board have great ideas!

MrsMLRB

Ditto Aimers.

Sunday brunch weddings are lovely- less booze is needed (mimosas and bloody marys for all!). Also, don't use really fancy flowers that are very expensive. Also look further away from the city where taxes are lower.

Get married where your reception is- less money for venues/transportation fees

WinterWed17

Look at alternative options to the traditional seated plated dinner. You could do a cake and punch reception at an off meal time.

Sometimes restaurants who do catering are cheaper than catering companies.

You can serve only beer and wine and cut out the cost of liquor.

Those are just a few ideas that have seemed to work for others. Obviously they won't work for everyone. Think creatively and be realistic that your wedding probably won't look like most traditional weddings. But that's ok (even if it doesn't seem like it at first).

HandBanana

Going with a place that offers a package per plate price will save you the most money and. 

Try the William Tell.  They have a really small room and offer different priced per plate options.

Going a la carte becomes very expensive very fast.  You have to provide everything so what you save on finding a cheap loft to rent, you have rent furniture, find a catererer, and possibly have to pay for wait staff and transportation, delivery, set-up... this is coming from a girl that was origianlly planning a wedding at the Irish American Heritage Center and spoke with 5 different caterers.  The cost just doesn't add up and the stress of dealing with so many vendors isn't worth it.

 There is no reason that one set of parents should know what the other parents are contributing.  I would just see what they would be willing to contribute or pay for.  I will say this though.  Have a firm line on guest numbers.  I'm still regreting not doing that (we went from 200-240.)

DO NOT TAKE OUT A LOAN!  I know a couple that only now finished paying off a wedding loan from 3 years ago.  AGGGHHHH!  no thank you!

If you have any questions about local vendors or locations with packages and prices just message me.  Not sure how much I can help but I am somewhat familiar with some venues on the southside.

Happy Planning!

TEA&Co

Ditto everyone else.  I would also highly recommend looking into a Sunday brunch.  Just my experience with "off-season" weddings--FI and I are planning a December wedding and have not found many discounts at all because we're also competing with corporate/private Christmas parties for vendors.  So if you're truly looking to go off-season, I'd do January or February. 

Also, do you knw for sure that that is the amount that both sets of parents are contributing?  If not and you're just assuming, you should probably have that talk with them to find out exactly how much they'll be contributing.  DItto PP that there is really no reason why FI's parents should know how much your parents are contributing.  I know it is SUPER awkward, but it's so hard to plan when you don't know exactly what your budget is.

In the Glen Ellyn/Wheaton area, have you checked out the Abbington (sp?) yet?  Especially if you do an off day/time/season, you might be able to find a very reasonable rate.  A friend of mine had her reception there on a Friday evening and I believe that the price was very reasonable...and I believe (though I could be totatlly off base) that cake and centerpieces were either included or highly discounted.  She was so happy with her experience with them and it was a gorgeous wedding, good food, good service, etc. 

Good luck and enjoy the planning process!

thealphabride

I love all the pp suggestions on saving money. I think you need to sit down with both sets of parents and let them know how much you are struggling to put together a nice wedding with this many guests on an 8G budget.

If the parents aren't helping you with planning, they have no idea how expensive weddings are today. Even back in the day, weddings for that many could run 10K.

They can either contribute more, or cut their guest lists. They are the ones who have 160 guests between them.

One of the best ways to save money is to cut down the guest list and the size of the bridal party. As well as some of the other suggestions above.

skybrie

My FH has a large family and they want to invite 30+ friends we do not know.  So while my parents are paying for the wedding - his parents are paying for their guests.  So if it is $100 pp and they want 80 guests then they throw in 8k - and if your parnets only have 30 guests then they throw in 3k - just a thought.

Marrin713

How about heavy apps, cake, and bar reception at an off time?  We had our reception at Klein Creek in Winfield on a Sunday evening and they did a great job.  Whole reception inc. hosted bar came in at under 2G's, but that was for 50+ people.

Someone else mentioned VFW or American Legion.  VFW in Wheaton was very reasonable but the whole place smells like day old cigarettes.  When we checked it a year ago, the whole pkg inc. open bar was like $25 pp.  The American Legion in Wheaton (?) Carol Stream (?) (off Gary and Geneva) was $300 to rent the room which was recently remodeled, but you'd have to get your own catering.

mroth2011

i agree 100% with what everyone else as suggested.

i would scour the boards for people selling things. the mark-up with wedding related stuff is insane. i've bought quite a few things from knotties.

invitations can get crazy expensive - and with that, postage. you might consider doing an online RSVP to save some money there. both target and michaels have great options for invitations that are very reasonable, and quite nice looking.

i absolutely agree w/keeping the bridal party small because you do end up spending more money b/c of gifts, flowers, etc.

for day of beauty - i think this is another area where people overcharge dramatically. i don't judge anyone that pays a lot for these services, but they just aren't in my budget, so i am going with a friend that does airbrush makeup and having my hair done by the girl that always does my hair.

don't buy your veil from the bridal shop. i've found that the up-charge is insane! i know someone that actually found her veil on amazon (a bridal boutique had an amazon shop) and it was finger-tip length with rhinestones on the edging, all the way around and it was $100. They wanted $350 for it in the shop and it was basically the same. I bought it from her for $75 and I'll re-sell that too!

you may need to look hard for reasonable vidoegrapher, dj and photographer, but they do exist!

good luck to you!

Zelly72

We are in the same boat as you it sounds.  My parents are giving us $5k, and that's it.  His parents are not contributing.  So we have to come up with the rest.  We are having the reception at Normandy Room Banquets in Elmhurst (right on the border of Oak Brook).  It is an American Legion hall, but they have converted half of it into a banquet hall.  It's a really nice room.  There's even a fireplace.  You have to go there to see it, as they don't have pictures on their website.  They have an "economy buffet" package that is only $30.50 per person, which is what we are using.  And that includes a 5 1/2 hour reception with 4 hours of open bar.  They have a tasting once a month at a different location that they are affiliated with (Bella Vista Banquets) so you can try everything before you pick your choices for the buffet.  They also use a decorator if you want chair covers and ties, colored table cloths, etc.  They charge about $4.50 per person for that, but that is totally something that you don't have to do.  Hope this helps!

Cony&Ben

If you are looking for budget photographers, you can check Craigslist. There are a few that are under $1000. Sometimes there will even be someone who will work for free because they want to add to their portfolio. I have found that in general (but not always), you get beter quality photographs from more expensive photographers. You have to take a look at the photographer's portfolios and see if trade off in quality is worth the lower price for you. If you want names/websites of the photographers I've found, PM me.

ragdoll2

my parents offered to help, as did his... my parents also both said they could put together about 2000 each by then... i'm saving what i can, as is my fi... thanks so much for all your suggestions. i am going to look into those american legion places in elmhurst and in carol stream. i didn't even think about those before.

as for cutting back other costs, we are not having a groom's cake, our wedding party is only 8 ppl if we include us, we are prob going to have it on a sunday afternoon to save money, limited bar, no programs or ceremony cards, one page invitations (i am going to see if either my aunt or my bestie can do our invitations as a wedding gift), we won't have to pay for our ceremony music, my dress isn't included with the cost bc i'm paying for it, we already have our rings for each other, i was going to have my sister (future make-up artist) do my makeup, we're opting for a small cake to cut & a big sheet cake for all the guests....

so we're definitely not going all lavish with the wedding. we just want a simple cute little outdoor ceremony & an indoor or tented reception for all our guests.

as for a dj or photographer i have no idea what we're going to do.

koriginale11

having some higboys around so people have a place to set their drink to eat an appetizer type food (rather than full on sit down) sounds like great idea.  they have small foods, you don't have to spend for tables, seats, many more linens (may want a few), and they're cool, so you also don't look "cheap" or anything...

there is risk of problems, but if you look enough, you can find decent info on ipod weddings.  i decided to go w a dj.  there are some good options out there without breaking too much of the bank.

i'm looking at centerpeices in an effort to be a little more green.  plus, i want ones that people don't move out of the way just so they can speak to one another.  there are some cool options out there.  mostly involve votives, but having water in it, floating candle on top, with petals underneath foating in the water; rocks on bottom, single flower inside (without popping out the top of the votive).  these things will save on money bc by using one flower in the votive, or even getting a variety of flowers for their petals only (who cares how they look if you're just using part of them) you don't have to spend as much on flowers.  even better is having a garden you can raid.

butterfieldeight

Make a list of things that are important to you. Maybe a MUST HAVE, Like to have, and Nice to have in 3 columns. Then write down what is important to you in each column. For example, photography, my dress, how I looked was very important to me but invitations, transportation and flowers weren't. A candy bar would be nice to have but was least important. You get the idea. Then you know exactly where you should budget most of your money.

Also, don't do what your family wants, do what YOU want. If you want a small reception then do it. At the end of the day it's not about what your family wants but what you and your husband to be wants. 

Good luck!