Do you ever wish you were eloping?

jessNlane52804

When I was early in the planning stages, I had so many people ask "are you ready to elope yet?" and I always thought it was kind of funny- how stressful can a wedding be, right???? I have definitely hit that point. I still enjoy wedding planning, but we're going through the stage now of deciding things that impact our families and it's just impossible to please everyone. Luckily, no one has been too difficult yet, but Vegas is looking pretty good right now....

FI and I had a good "wouldn't Vegas be nice" moment today then we reminded ourselves that when W day arrives we probably won't even remember the stress of planning.

kthame

I think all of us Knotties must be on the same wave-length as of late.

I swear to you, FI and I had this exact conversation last night. I think the stress of all of the upcoming expenses is really starting to hit us. I sit here and think "WOW...we'll be spending thousands of dollars for ONE night...sigh. But, as you said, when the big day is upon us, I'm confident we won't regret anything. I'm having a LOT Of fun with the planning process, it's when you associate the $$$ that it hits me.

Has the stress of the planning affected any of your relationships with FI? I don't mean you're fighting over the wedding, I just mean, the stress that's on you...does it ever make you short with your FI or maybe a little more irritable (in general) so you may react/respond to things a little more than you would normally?

aesthyerin

I am in the same boat. I am usually a stressed person and this whole time I've been fine with the wedding. Now that it's getting closer it's starting to hit me. I was talking to FI over the weekend how cute the chapels were in Vegas as well! I too know that on the day we will be thankful we did it this way and will enjoy it.

njohnson0330

I agree...I am still excited to be having the whole wedding but a destination wedding has sounded wonderful for some time now!  I just get a little stressed with the idea of spending so much money. 

I started the process thinking I was not into the whole thing, meaning I wasn't going to go overboard on anything.  Now I want everything...unbelievable!  Who am I?  I didn't think I was like this.  Sigh!

I do know that the wedding day will be great no matter what we do...we want to spend the rest of our lives together...why this crazy need to make everything perfect?

megs3084

I agree it has been sounding nice lately, but it bothers me when people ask me if Im ready to elope yet.  They attribute all my stress to wedding planning-like I can't handle it & fail to realize that I am also graduating nursing school 3 weeks before the wedding with the most intense of my semesters starting next week.  I mean I know not everyone can stay 100% tuned into my life, but even my mom says stuff.  it's irritating.  I'm just ready to be done & enjoy the married life

sgylling

I just wish it didn't cost so much! When I look at the numbers it makes me think, is this really worth it? I definitely could have done a destination, but then I am also glad we get to get married in the city we love so much:) The knot checklist makes me stressed! haha, it is like 105 things left to do, seriously?!

ladybug7485

*sigh*
I was just thinking the same thing! FI and I just got an invite in the mail from FI's former coworker and they're getting married in Vegas on Cinco de Mayo. That sparked our convo about it. But I agree with you and pp, it will all be worth it on the day of...
Until then I will try to avoid buying Xanax off the streets to relieve my anxiety.
jk, kind of

MINDMNMO

I TOTALLY agree with everyone on how intriguing eloping sounds.  I am really having to "force" myself to try and enjoy some of this, but that's easier said then done.  I didn't realize until the planning started that I'm kind of a penny-pincher and I'm having a hard time NOT focusing on the financial impact this is going to have.  I keep joking that I don't need to win the big lottery...just 10 grand would make things more enjoyable! ha ha  I'm still in the early stages of finding the big ticket items (dress, photo/videographer, DJ, etc.) so I hope once I get a couple of those picked out, I can enjoy planning the little details?  Here's hoping

Michelle_G

I hadn't even considered the finances until about a week ago... then the panic attack hit.  HOLY CRAP that's a lot of money, and we don't have a lot of time to save!!  Whatever will we do?!  AAAHHHHHHH.  So, I went home and blabbed to FI about how he has to stop going to Dunkin Donuts every morning for his coffee, and needs to start making it at home - just to save money.  Thankfully, he agreed and didn't tell me I was crazy!    FIL's eloped and told us from day one to do the same.  I don't wish we had eloped (yet), but I do wish I wasn't as picky about the details and could have a total budget wedding.   At least I know that I have no one to blame but myself! 
Hang in there, ladies!!!  It's going to be the best day of our lives!!!

jessNlane52804

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_ever-wish-were-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:ff2ce321-dd60-46dd-9acb-0e82fe67b694Post:a640f3b3-0201-402a-95b6-32a4b7c482b0">Re: Do you ever wish you were eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE] Until then I will try to avoid buying Xanax off the streets to relieve my anxiety. jk, kind of
Posted by ladybug7485[/QUOTE]

LMAO!!

I'm so glad we're all on the same page here.

ErinC85

I totally agree that the knot checklist is the scariest thing ever! I avoid it until I can check off a ton of things at once, otherwise, its so daunting!

raeyn

I wanted to elope before we started any planning, and FI is the one who insisted on having an actual wedding. Originally I couldn't bear the thought of spending all that money, but the more we've planned the more I am glad that we decided to do this.

Our wedding is in 2 weeks, and I thought FI and I would be at each other's throats by now. Thankfully, staying on budget and receiving pre-marital counseling from friend/officiant have helped keep us focused and sane.

I agree with Megs that there are so many other stressors in our lives, we don't need to be constantly reminded that the wedding should be stressing us out!

ccokada

My fiance and I hardly ever fought until we got engaged! Then we started bickering all the time because I was so stressed about planning and we couldn't agree on anything. I used to come home at least once a week and mention eloping. However, now that we have a good chunk of stuff done, I am definitely more excited and less stressed about planning in general. It still freaks me out when the knot sends me a list telling me I have 20 overdue to-do items! 

Bubbala

I go through  my phases...when I get stuff done, I am not as stressed, but it is the thinking about things that need to be done that stresses me out...we had over a year to plan, and I have no idea where all these months went!  We are down to 4 months! 

kthame

There's a Knot checklist? Oops...

imtaken07

I love the idea:) I can't believe how much eveything is. My FI brings it up all the time. Your looking at this? Do you know how much that is? ect. We want to buy a house and that is where our budget is more focused on. I am trying to spend as little as possible and still have a nice wedding. It's hard, but will make do. My parents would kill me if I eloped. They are old fashioned:(

ewenner

Thank you jess for posting this. It makes me feel better knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way.  Thankfully, the FI is very patient with me and even bought me a gift certificate for a massage.  I can't wait to cash that baby in!

Noron

I have 201 overdue items on the knot's checklist...somehow I still ended up married!
I thought about eloping every day of our year plus engagement, since I hated wedding planning...but in the end, H and I really wanted to have the time of our lives, surrounded by our ginormous families and awesome friends - and we did!
I feel you, ladies; but it really IS worth it.  I promise. 

swendelborg

I am one of the founders of Harmonious Brides and these kinds of issues are just the kinds of things we specialize in addressing.  We have a Bridal Support Workshop coming up in February. 

Please visit our website and feel free to email any questions.

http://www.harmoniousbrides.com

Best,

Susan