What would you do- Guest list question.

aliblu

Ok, so since Im having a DW wedding, my whole famliy assumes they are invited, and they all are coming. My aunt got divorced and remarried and her husband has a son who is a little bit older then me. Even though I dont know him that much, i guess hes part of the family and he should get invited to. Well, he has this girlfriend, and they have been dating for about 1.5 years, they are moving in together this year, and they are pretty serious. Im guessing he is assuming since he is getting invited that he can bring his girlfriend along,(if they are still together) my whole family has met her several times, so we all know who she is. Well, I dont like her that much, and I dont really want her at my wedding, just family and my and FI close friends. I dont want to be rude, but...its my wedding. I dont have a problem is she wants to come to Maui, but if she did, would it be weird that she doesn't get an invite? What would you guys do, I need advice! TIA!

carrieoz_76

I think technically you don't have to invite her since they're not married, but I'd be offended if my family knew my partner, we were living together, and he wasn't invited. If I were you, if I invited him, I'd invite her too. You probably won't notice her. you'll be so focused on other stuff. I think the question in - do you need to invite him? My mom remarried when I was an adult, so I have step-sisters who I like, but see only very occasionally (like maybe once a year, if that). I'm not sure I'll invite them, but if I do, I'll invite their partners. I think it'd be weird not to.

ringobubblegirl

Hi Alex!  I think you should invite her because it might cause even more trouble than it's worth if you didn't.  If you put yourself in her shoes, would you would be offended if someone invited your husband to a DW, but you weren't invited?  Also, since they are in a serious relationship, it will be very awkward at future family functions.  On your wedding day, you will be too wrapped up in your happy emotions to even worry about her.  Unless she's this crazy psycho who's planning to sabotage ur wedding, I think it's better to invite her.  :-)Love the chocolate sunflower seeds, btw!  It tastes like peanut M&Ms, but with the sunflower seeds inside. 

emptybee83

This situation sounds rather familiar...except I was the girl that was NOT invited.  FI's cousin got married 2 years ago...destination wedding as well...and although the cousin knew me (we've been together for 5 years already at that time!), they chose not to invite me.  They sent FI an invite and on the RSVP card, they purposely filled it out and placed 1 on it.  I was sooo offended by it because they obviously did not want me there.  I took it as them disregarding my relationship with him and not wanting me to be a part of the family.  FAST FOWARD TO NOW...to us getting married.  That cousin and his family are NOT invited to our wedding.  It's not out of spite...or revenge...it's just me saying...they obviously didn't care enough about me then...so why should i want people who don't really care for me to be present at my wedding?? Tough situation...eeek!! HTH!

aliblu

I guess you all are right. I would be offended if that happened to me. Thanks, I will just have to deal with it. oh, and I guess I will have to get those chocolate covered sunflower seeds, they sound..interesting, but good!

inamra

Yeah I don't think you have to invite her if you don't. You can kindly let them know that budget or space is tight and you can only accommodate so many people and you're already at your limit so you can't accommodate some extra guests of guests. People will understand, esp since it's a DW wedding in Hawaii. GL!

aggiem

IMO if you are inviting him, you should invite her.  I think it's really rude not to invite a serious bf/gf of a guest.Of course you could just not invite him   Just tell them it's a small wedding and you would love to invite everyone but it's just not possible.