1 week, 4 days and big breakdown

KKakes

This is long...SORRY!I guess it was bound to happen right? A big "wedding" breakdown...well yeah, I got it last night!! So here is what happend (more of a straw that broke the camels back kind of thing). SO, two of my parents friends that they invited decided last night not to come. No big deal right? Except for the fact that it happened to be that the table they were at was the smallest in number and there is another tabel that is maxed out, so losing them means I had to stay up til 1am to reorganize my seating (not to mention name tags...which are already in HAWAII!). Also, I called my WC and it is too late to get any of my money back for rentals, food, bar, etc. That is about $600 that we now lost because they arent coming. I am so frusterated...who cancels this close to the wedding?! I am just so annoyed because I feel like no one understands how much work and emotional effort it takes to put together such a fun big day. Instead I feel like every hour I am having to make everyone happy and I can't just focus on making me happy.Also, I have a few divorced people as well as aunts and uncles who have family tiffs with other family members. This leads to a whole song and dance to make sure what everyone wants gets done and everyone is happy. It is wearing me down because I get phone calls every day with someone complaining about someone or saying I am hurting someones feelings by sitting them here or inviting them there. It is so tough to manage and I am doing the best I can! I wish everone would just understand that I have so much to think about right now and I really need them to step up without me and just be okay. I can't deal with everyone every second of the day! I thought people were supposed to leave the bride alone ;-)Anyway, thats my vent...I hope it gets better because I am not stressed at all except when other people jump in and want me to save the world for them. Whew. Exhausting!!Anway, on a good note, I am getting married like SO SOON!!!! I can't freaking wait. Watching my FI manage my family and all the stress and logistics when I can no longer handle them has made me love him even more. I am so lucky to be marrying a man who can pick up my pieces as fast as I lose them!! haha.

mauidandy

What!! How can they back out a week before? Did they not have plane tickets and hotel reservations? I don't understand how people can be sooo inconsiderate. Anyone with a little common sense would know how much extra expense that puts you out...not to mention the seating logistics...I'm so sorry   I would be beyond frustrated, and I know you've been crazy busy with work lately so that really doesn't help. Just breathe You're almost there! And once you get to the island, you can really just relax and whatever happens, happens. Your WC can handle the rest. You're so sweet to worry about everyone else's feelings, but honestly it's your wedding and they should suck it up and manage for ONE DAY. They're all adults! Have a glass of wine tonight and concentrate on the good!

tifani27

Such a bummer......I think for the AHR I am having I am going to keep the seating arrangement a secret, it seems to cause people to be so lame and low!!! I feel for ya girl....but pretty soon you will be in Hawaii and it all won't matter and bottomline they can get over who they are sitting next to or not come. This day is about celebration not, family tiffs!!! Good luck lady it will all be ok!!!!

amyj513

Wow Kelsey, how rude! I guess look on the bright side, you haven't had a meltdown until now!  Your wedding will be beautiful.  Just try to relax and enjoy the moment, although easier said than done!

kaesha

Wow. WOW. That's hugely jerkish! If it makes you feel any better, I think everyone goes through the song and dance number with family - I totally had a break down because of my Dad's cousin's misbehaviour. =/The best thing you can do is try to let it go - but that's always easier said than done.

inamra

Wow, that sucks that they cancelled so last minute =/ But like you said, you're getting married soon So focus your energy on that and don't worry about pleasing everyone. They're already coming out for your big day so I'm sure they can put their differences aside and just be happy seeing you happy on your wedding day Just breathe and I hope things will be smooth sailing from here on out!!

diorgrl8

Oh Kelsey So sorry to hear all the seating arrangement drama you're going through! Just remember that in the end, it's you and your future husband's happiness that ultimately matters! Sorry to hear how a couple of unfortunate last minute things can trigger such a debacle! Wishing you the best wedding ever though! it will be awesome!

HappyGoLuckyGal

Hey Kelsey. I'm so sorry for your rude guests. I'm already having nightmares about trying to figure out the seating chart, so I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to have to rearrange things last minute. Not to mention the $600. I'm amazed by how clueless people are about how much time, money, and energy goes into weddings. Having said that, I'm sure none of this will matter in a few days. Your wedding is going to be so fabulous. I'm really excited to see how everything comes together for you. Congrats on the final stretch! Good luck with everything. Hopefully this will be the last bump in the road for you.

BoBride28

I echo what everyone else said . . . TOTALLY sucks and I would prob have a big breakdown too, but in a few days when you are boarding the plane heading to Hawaii you will just be so freakin' excited and happy hopefully you will forget about all the stress!

maui2011

That is just silly and ridiculous...were they ever planning on going?!?!?!  However, maybe they lost their job or there is an illness in the family...they may have a legit reason.  This is mos def my biggest worry...they rsvp yes and then at the last minute bail.  I know it's not easy but try to shut everyone off...except for the ones closest to you that are not giving you any grief and enjoy the moments leading up to your big day.  Before you know it you'll be on the plane and saying i do in no time.  Have fun and don't let the "noise" get to you. J. :-)

M&M's_Maui

So sorry to hear about the family stresses!  Some people just suck and can only think about themselves!  It's a wedding for crying out loud!  Suck up your drama and just be there for the happy couple!  At least your breakdown happened now and not right before the wedding.    Just think... soon you'll be in Maui...On a side note, if you're so worried about $600 going to waste, I think MH & I are free next Saturday!  (hahahaha!  j/k!)     Just breathe!  Everything will work out just fine! 

carrieoz_76

Oh honey, I'm so sorry! It was bound to happen, if not for one reason then another. It is absolutely rude of people to cancel this close to the date. You've earned your breakdown - that's for sure. As for family members bugging you - can you assign someone on either side of the family to try to accommodate them, instead of doing it yourself? For example, I would assign my mom to her family, FMIL to FI's family, and so on. Also, remember that while it is nice to accommodate people's needs, ultimately they will need to just suck it up and get over whatever little thing is bugging them. So try to avoid big problems, and let the little ones roll off your back. You can't make everyone happy, and you'll only make yourself unhappy by trying. Best of luck!

simmy89

HI KelseyThat does suck.. I have just had the same thing happen with a couple that where supposed to be coming with us on our elopement. Not many people know we are getting married and when they pulled out I was bummed... I have done all sorts of little treats for those that where going to be there and its as though they have no thought for that.But as you say it wont be long and we will be Mrs... 3 weeks for me and it can not come soon enough..Just think that not long after you marry you will be coming down under as well.. what a great and excieting life together.. stay cool stay relaxed and try and enjoy the process.. You have done an amazing job arranging your wedding it will be so much fun they are the ones missing out... Simone

KKakes

Thanks guys...you always make me feel so much better!!! I love my Knotties

kwippy

Sorry to hear about that!  I had a massive seating rearrangement fiasco the NIGHT before at 7pm.  DH's friend decides to not tell us he's coming, but we find out from his other friend that he was sending another person in his place (who didn't show up either).  But in the end it all worked out and everyone had a seat!  It's really unfair that people are making you feel bad about something as petty as who they are sitting next to--but all they are going to remember is how beautiful you looked and how emotional it made them.  Chill, enjoy your day and just kill them with kindness. 

jujubee96

hey Kelsey - hope you are feeling better and that everything works out!  I say, who cares about what everyone else wants.  They should know better and be on their best behavior no matter what the seating arrangements or invitations are.Wow, is your wedding costing $300/person, or is it a $600 cost for those 2 because they tipped over the costs for several things?  I hope that all works out.  No matter if you get your money back or not, just focus on this wonderful event --- I am so happy for you!  You are getting married!!Hope all the transition from NYC to Australia is going well too!

SkyyBC

Yeah, we would have drama like this too IF I decided to share seating details.  Luckily, I figured it would be much easier to just keep my mouth shut about seating.  I love all my guests, but I figure they can suck it up for two hours if they don't absolutely LOVE where i seat them.  Good luck finishing everything up, Kels!  We're in the home stretch now!! 

2OahuWeGo

So sorry to hear that!  With our wedding <1 wk away - I feel your pain.On the bright side, you are going to be with the ones who love you and you could ask for the extra food to be packaged to take home - seriously - everyone tells me they didn't get to eat their food and having this midnight snack is a life saver.Knottie vibes are going your way - it will be awesome no matter what.  Big picture - you are getting Married!!!!!If anyone has an issue sitting next to someone, etc - they can grow up for 1 day. =)Good Luck!

pbkmom

Kelsey you are going to have a fabulous wedding. I can't wait to hear your report and can just imagine how gorgeous your pictures will be! I'm sorry some people are so rude, I hope your folks subtlely tell them how much you are out! And ignore ignore the idiots who think only of themselves. Don't even answer the calls if its from someone complaining, refer them all to your parents, friends, whoever and get it off your plate.